How do I get Grandmother to stop taking supplements?
Hello, looking for some advice. My grandmother is mentally ill, she has anorexia, trauma, ptsd... among other things. She often has body aches because of her anxiety; her body feels achy but when examined by doctors nobody has found anything ever over the past 30 years. She has been hospitalized several times for her anorexia and anxiety disorders. One of her ways of 'coping' is to buy supplements that she thinks her body needs and will stop the pain. She does not believe that the pains in her body are from anxiety and these other disorders (which they are), and she secretly purchases these VERY EXPENSIVE supplements from a woman in North Andover MA, who I have researched and is not even medically certified. I am looking into legal avenues to stop this. This woman has sold her THOUSANDS of dollars in supplements including (I am not kidding) snake oil. All of which she will use and then continue to feel sick. Instead of trying something else, she will try a new supplement. The entire family has spoken to her about this but she refuses to believe it. Has anyone had a similar experience or any advice? The amount of money she has spent is prohibitive, and I don't think she even knows what she is taking, so it could legitimately be causing issues. I brought it up to her doctor but the doctor was like 'I'm not about to stop her because she won't believe me otherwise' ?????? Am I crazy or shouldn't the doctor be concerned about ingesting anything that isn't food? Or prescribed?
She has HUNDREDS of bottles lying around her kitchen...none of these are cheap walmart multivitamins, they are all highly specialized and expensive. Examples are rose hips, echinacea, various oils, aluminum sulfate, calcium sulfate...I can't even begin to list I have already posted once about my grandparents situation and the advice I got was very good, so I am hoping someone might be able to help me here :)
27 Answers
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- My mom has anxiety attacks that come on unprovoked out of nowhere, but the doctor wants to keep her off medication. What can we do?
- Homeopathic possible products for general anxiety?
- Anyone experience a loved one having Meningioma?
- Has anyone used telehealth for psychiatrist/anxiety issues? Did Medicare cover?
Your grandmother does not respect your opinion. That must be frustrating and hurtful, but the sooner you get used to it the sooner you will stop expecting her to listen to you and thus avoid a lot of the frustration.
As a potentially useful and/or interesting exercise, you could line up her supplements, take a picture of the collection, and go with it (and preferably her) to a reputable pharmacist to ask for professional feedback on what she's taking. A pharmacist could probably cost it for her, too, and tell her how much money she is literally pouring down the toilet every day.
Someone should be in charge of her finances. Put a Freeze on her credit card so she can not use it.
If she is buying these on line you might want to put parental control on her computer as well so that she can not get to certain sites.
You might also want to do a "change of mail address form" and have all the mail directed to your house. That way you can sort through the stuff you want to keep from her. The other "harmless" stuff you can put in her mail box if you want. Or just keep it and you start paying bills and keeping an eye on what comes and goes.
Does she live alone? or is someone with her that is more responsible?
Now it just says anxiety and other.
Contrary to popular myth, nutritional supplements are regulated, but not by the FDA (which does designate what things are Generally Recognized as Safe [GRAS]).
Why does your grandmother reject the anxiety diagnosis? I appreciate GardenArtist's suggestion to get her to a local alternative health specialist since she doesn't seem to trust conventional physicians. An integrative health physician is the best of both worlds - a licensed MD with extensive training in nutraceuticals and treating the whole person - mental, physical, environmental, and genetic.
Good health doesn't HAVE to be a money pit.
I had one patient PT was seeing for falls and I had to see due to the confusing and large number of catalogue medications she was taking. Under Medicare, I had to document them all. It took me TWO days and over 3 hours. She was spending over $350/mo. I researched the ingredients of many and found massive interactions with her prescribed meds and each other. Dangerous!
My relative started a little OTC pain med habit after some dental work. Aides encouraged her to use when required. But then assisted her to buy more IN BULK to save her money. Also doubling up as 2 brands (but same active ingredients). I noticed Jaundice when visiting & finally found the reason.
Hopefully, somebody in the family has a power of attorney to take over grandma's financial decisions and medical decisions. If not -
1 - Contact a local lawyer that specializes in elder care or family care. He/She can guide you into next legal steps to take based on the laws where your grandma lives.
2 - Contact grandma's doctor for an evaluation for mental competence. Do not be surprised if the doctor makes referrals to a neurologist and/or geriatric psychiatrist.
3 - Be prepared to admit your grandmother for inpatient psych evaluation and treatment. Her anxiety needs to be addressed AND some of the "snake oil supplements" can be toxic. She will need medical treatment to get her mentally and physically into a better place of health.
4 - Grandmother probably can not live alone anymore. If she has a legal guardian appointed by the local courts, this person will make arrangements for placement into a full service residential facility. If a somebody has Powers of Attorney, this person should work with local resources to "place" grandmother into a situation where she is cared for and supervised 24/7.
Remember what P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Scammers count on gullible people buying their products so they can make lots of cash. The infomercials get to me! Geeeeeeeeez! If it sounds too good to be true, it generally is.
I wonder how many people have spent money on products to grow hair! Hahaha, I still see bald people everywhere I go!
Legitimate products will be backed up by the medical community.
First thought .... You say the entire family has talked to her - I'm assuming you have all been against her buying and using supplements. First of all, can you imagine what that would feel like? Having the entire family against you and scolding you about something you're doing or not doing? It would feel alot like being ganged up on ... or bullying. Has anyone tried being on her side about it? Do you happen to know if she's really against prescription drugs. and for natural remedies? If she is, perhaps share that interest with her. Do some research and find out which supplements help her conditions. You might be able to influence what she purchases or doesn't purchase if she felt you were on her side.
My second thought - Is it possible that it's not about the supplements at all, but more about making online purchases? We've all heard about people who get addicted to buying things off the internet or infomercials. (My son's MIL has that problem. She has a garage and two bedrooms in her house stacked to the ceiling with boxes of things she ordered online or off infomercials. Most of which she has never even opened. It was the thrill of buying them. She didn't really need the things or really want them I guess. Just had to be shopping.) Is it possible that this could be what is going on with her? If so, it's an addiction thing. It very well could be the case. And that would require an entirely different approach. I don't have a clue how to address that - other than counselling.
Actually, I have another thought - it's posted in another reply. Maybe it's more about her way of dealing with losing control of so many aspects of her life. Personally, I think that is the most likely of all. And it definitely doesn't mean she is incompetent.
Best of luck. It's nice that you care about her.