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He is stubborn and doesn't want help.

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I have heard of people getting the bathroom really warm and using warm towels. They start the shower and then, tell the patient to go get in. You wash part of them and then, hand them the wash cloth.

For some reason, in a NH, the patients just take their shower because everyone else is.
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Promise him a pretty. "What's that?" he'll grumble. "It's a surprise." If it works, you'd better be prepared for something realllly speciallll. Ha!

Hope you're not REALLY trying to get him to take a bath. That's scary for the elderly. Nothing wrong with a sponge bath at the sink (bathroom or kitchen, whichever is more convenient). If he can't do it by himself, could your husband help him? YOU helping him may be more than he can stand.

If he won't or can't do it himself and refuses to let family help, tell him that, unless he washes up thoroughly by xxxx, you're going to hire someone to come in to do it for him. That one way or t'other, he's got to get clean.

Soooo frustrating. When I had a hard time with mom, I used old-fashioned guilt if a pretty didn't work. "Mom, I do everything for you. Just EVERYTHING. Can't you do this one thing for me?? "

Maybe something here will work. I hope so.
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Mgoose, here is an excellent article about Alzheimer's/Dementia patients and bathing. What you are dealing with is very normal.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Alzheimers-disease-bathing-139323.htm
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