How do I get an asset returned to my husband?

Unless they forged his signature on the title, the car is gone and I would not fight that battle for a depreciating asset that is probably not worth the fight. But, they have already shown parasitic tendencies and no regard for your opinion or needs. Hopefully you have your own car in your name or joint with your husband. Both signatures would be needed to transfer or sell. Do you have medical and financial POA over your husband? If not, try to get your ducks in a row there if you can so that you have more control over your and your husband’s destiny. I am not an attorney or financial advisor. You should probably consult with both. But, I do have some thoughts: You need to financially protect yourself and him. Do you have joint accounts? You may want to protect yourself by moving money to an individual account in your name only. It can be payable on death (POD) to your husband or whoever you want. At the very least bank accounts and vehicles should be joint with rights of survivorship (JWROS). Make sure your vehicle is titled to you. If you own a house hopefully you are on the deed having equal ownership rights. Don’t wait - protect yourself. Use professional help from an elder care attorney if you can. Don’t expect these people to act honorably- they won’t. If they did forge his name, make sure you discuss with your attorney. It may not be worth the fight if in the end he chooses to sign it over to them or if the whole discussion is too upsetting for him, but you want someone in your corner who knows they committed fraud to get the car. Good luck!
PS - one more thing to really check on is whether they put their own insurance on the car. You do NOT want them driving it under your policy. Since you do not currently have possession, cancel the insurance immediately. I also agree that changing the locks on your house and having a fire proof safe for important papers (like titles) would be a good idea. Hopefully you have someone you trust that you can give a key and the combination to.

If the signature on the original title is not your husbands, then thats fraud and a stolen vehicle IMO. That may be what u have to do. Declare it stolen but that will also cause problems within the family. All I would want to come out of all this is the daughter learns she was wrong in what she did and the car returned.

I din't think you should divorce, I do think you need to make sure a Will is in place snd all your ducks in a row. Your steps need to be told they have no rights when there is a spouse of 50 yrs involved. Spouse always out weighs children.

Bklooney: Retain an elder law attorney as soon as possible. It's simply not as cut and dry for someone to take over ownership of a motor vehicle as one MUST go through the Department of Motor Vehicles. I.e. what happens when these people are driving the auto and are stopped by police for any number of 'issues' with the auto? They're asked to show the fraudulent registration and there you have it.

If you and your husband have not already taken care of the will and DURABLE POA, you are a fool if you let another day go by without seeing an attorney and getting that done. If your husband refuses, go see an attorney alone and ask them if you need to get a divorce in order to protect yourself from what is coming.

Just remember though, that if your husband's Social Security is quite a bit more than yours, you would be giving up the right to claim his higher SS payments upon his death. Your attorney will go over everything with you and make the suggestions that make the most sense! The ONLY advice given to you by the members of this website that you SHOULD take is to GO TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. They handle these types of things on a daily basis! They've seen it all!

Contact a local lawyer and get their help.

Hire an attorney.

Here is the bigger issue: You say dear husband is nearing the end of life. I hope you have durable POA and that all your husbands legal documents are in order (will, trust, health proxy, beneficiaries of financial assets) if not, please make this a priority NOW by securing a qualified elder care attorney to guide you in today's circumstances.
Some questions about the car. Do you need or want the car for yourself? Was the title changed recently or 3 years ago when husband was lucid and agreed to it? If so, then perhaps that's what your husband really wanted when/ if he signed the title over. I don't understand how the title got transferred otherwise, unless it was by fraud. Gather together all your children/step-children and have a meeting about this. Hopefully, all of you can air your feelings with grace and not anger. Your husbands peace of mind - dementia or not - is paramount. Obviously, your husbands son feel entitled - and although you feel betrayed - In the big scheme of things, is this really worth fighting over?
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I hear this but how was the pink slip of ownership and registration of the vehicle signed for suggested ownership transfer? Do verify with the DMV. The documented owner is responsible for all the auto's actions, including accidents. What about liability coverage??

The DMV in my state requires&checks current DL, proof of address insurance, signed title with purchase price for the taxes, title, tag and registration fees. Guess each state does their own thing.

This is what your husbands children need to understand, that they have no rights even when its a second wife especially when you have been married for 50 yrs. That "if anything goes wrong" does not mean Dementia, it means death. Does daughter have POA? Even so, it does not give her the right to do what she did. Actually, she cannot personally profit from being POA unless its in the paperwork. I would ask a Lawyer what he thinks. Please, don't have your husband make decisions, he really can't, just do what you need to do.

I would take this as a warning, this daughter feels entitled. I would have all the locks changed in the house. I would make sure all legal documents are secure. If I felt it was needed, I would give a set of keys to the person I could trust and with that the place where all important papers are. Maybe buying a fire safe cabinet with a key only that person has. It is not unusual for step children to overlook a step parent when the bio parent passes. They think their rights override the step-parents. I so hope that your Wills read "what is yours is mine" because that means everything your husband owns is yours. He could leave certain things to his children but you would own everything else. Then its up to you how generous u want to be with your husbands personal effects. If you have joint accts, I may open one of my own and start having my SS and any pension go into that acct. Your entitled to half of what is in the joint acct. I would withdraw that. You need to protect yourself. Also, this SD needs to realize she didn't walk into her Dads house and take that title, she walked into your house too.

I would not be surprised that she had Dad sign that title over. You can claim he was incompetent to make that decision. Even if you don't get anywhere with this, you now know which child you need to watch.

So , they don’t have the car? But stole the title? You could call the DMV and ask what happens when someone does exactly this and what you can do about it… hopefully they can give you instructions about it. If DMV says to report it , I would tell stepson you will give him 10 days to undo what they have done, and you will report it to the police.
as spouse, your husband’s assets fall to you upon his passing. Including the car.
Are they carrying the car insurance?

Is your husband's dementia bad enough that POA applies?

How about his will? Is DIL and stepson included in the will or trust?

How much was the car worth? Was it over the yearly gift tax amount?

If your husband or the person who had POA for him, did not sign over the title, yes that is fraud and theft. Is it worth going to court for it right now? Probably not. Make sure you take pictures of the car now and do a little bit of research to assess the value of the car. Kelly Blue Book, kbb.com , would be a good source to figure out the value, then print or keep the value number handy.

I don't know what it would take to get a copy of the title that they turned over to the state. It might be worth having for the future.

If they stand to inherit anything if your husband passes, you could deduct the "worth" of the car, out of their portion of what they inherit, based on the value from kbb.com.

If they stand to inherit nothing after your husband passes, unless you want to go to court, chalk up the experience under "people to watch out for" and ensure they don't come to visit you any longer at your house. I suspect they have been stealing from you for a long time and you just have not been aware of it or thought of it as stealing.

I'm sorry that your trust in them and their good character has been blown to bits. However, I'd be very careful about any dealings with them in the future since it is obvious that that they are willing to commit fraud and forgery by signing your husband's name to the title and taking possession of his car while your husband is alive.

This could be just the beginning of the trouble you will have with them.

P.S. I'm a little concerned that your husband just wants to let it go. By any chance, could he have given them the go-ahead to take the car when you were not around? How did they get hold of the title?

P.P.S. The other 4 children, assuming they are adults, need to realize that Dad can give away possessions anyway he wishes. The problem of the car is between Dad and stepson/DIH. Life is frequently not equitable amongst children. To you, be prepared for a potentially contentious division of assets when your husband passes.

They should not have done it, but is value of car worth whatever it would cost to title back to hubby? Even hubby has said he doesn't want to argue about it.

You could deduct value of car (at time of title transfer) from what stepson would receive by way of division of assets at death.

Do all the children belong to your husband? Would that car have been sold and money divided between all children equally? If that's his only child and others belong to you, then maybe hubby really di want just him to get it.

If stepson told me he thought his title transfer action was fair, my next question would have been... Why should he get something the other kids didn't get....and...who signed dad's name on title

I was with Mom when she privately sold her car. I typed up a bill of sale were both Mom and the buyer signed their name. All Mom had to do was sign her name on the title and hand it over. Then the buyer took it to the DMV and registered it. I took Moms plates off. The buyer had to bring the new plates back and place them on the car. I turned Moms plates in.

If your DIL took that title without your permission thats stealing. If your husband did not sign it, someone did so thats fraud.

Promising someone they can have something means nothing if its not in writing. Either a codicil has to be attached to a Will or something in writing that your husband signed.

There is a way to get a title replacement saying you lost it. I would really want to make sure that the car is insured by DIL. That your husband cannot be held responsible if there is a serious accident.

My husband has his car in his name, my car is in my name we share insurance bill. We were told years ago not to put our names both on the title. If ur sued and have the car in both names you could lose everything. In one name u can only be sued for half of your combined assets.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that there's anything TO do at this point. I'm not even sure how cooperative the police would be in this matter, especially since you're dealing with your husband with dementia, and a supposedly 3 year old "promise". The only thing they *might* do is get a copy of the title and compare signatures on the title. But that's an awful lot of work for a case that I doubt a prosecuting attorney would even look to try.

Maybe there's a more subtle way to deal with this. Is there going to be any sort of inheritance to your/husband's children after he/you pass? I might add a codicil reducing this child's portion of the inheritance by the value of the car and split that extra amount money between the remaining children. From the description of this DIL, that would likely sting her more than anything else that might happen.

How old is the car? Is it worth enough to go thru all this drama to get it back?

Theft by deception in Arkansas can be a felony with jail time.
Back way up and look at the big picture.

Timing of when to do what would be important in order to not upset your DH and to make any report in any necessary time frame. Not an easy decision.

DH sounds pretty cognizant if he knows all about this and doesn’t want you to take any action. Perhaps the heart disease is what he will pass from? That comes with extreme fatigue and it may be difficult for him to deal with even small issues.
This couple obviously don’t think much of your position as dads wife. What else could they be up to? Is the son involved in the business?

As for the other 4. Sounds pretty dysfunctional. They want a star for not also stealing? You are the injured party here, not them or is it they are doing the heavy lifting and he is doing the stealing?? Family dynamics can be tough. Blended ones especially. You have enough on your plate without their piling on but you are the gatekeeper and they may just want you to realize what is going on and not stand for it. I am so sorry.

Or perhaps DH doesn’t remember that he signed the documents but did?
Is he operating the business at all these days? It might be worth your time to dig deep on other transactions he may have executed documents for.
I wonder if you could easily enough get a copy of the title with the signatures and dates? They have already admitted to taking the title so they aren’t denying that. I was also wondering if they are bluffing and plan to present a copy of dads death certificate in the future in order to have a valid title? Possession being nine-tenths of the law and all that.

It is easy for us to make assumptions that are often clouded by our own life experiences and point of reference. No disrespect intended.

I think I might find out what you could do and what the ramifications would be for all. Give it a minute and realize that as you have already acknowledged it is mostly the betrayal that matters. I am sorry for this pain. Please do let us know how this works out.

My own brothers family hated his second wife (of 20 some odd years) so much they even required her to remove her headstone from the cemetery. She had it installed right beside brother and his deceased’s wife’s stone for her future use as many second wives do. It was made clear to the SM that the stone could be moved in whole or in pieces but it would go. One day it was no longer there.

If your step-son wasn’t doing something wrong he would not have needed to sneak behind your back and present as a fait accompli. I am not sure which act would gall me most.

Report the car to the police as stolen. Then contact the DMV and tell them you have reason to believe your stolen vehicle has been re-registered to the thief's name. Tell that your husband is not competent to sign a car over to anyone.

Sit back and see what everyone does.

They did, in fact, transfer the title, brought me the plate and registration, and said here’s proof. Fraudulently transferred with the car title they apparently took from the safe. Everything else is still there, car title, nope. The locks have been changed due to this. Husband was in ICU, in an induced coma, so he didn’t sign anything. I have an appointment with our attorney tomorrow to find out what can be done. The vehicle was purchased using our joint bank account, and no, I doubt I’ll get the vehicle back. I just want this insanity to stop, It’s pathetic at times like this, that people can’t just be decent human beings. It’s not even about the car, it’s about stealing an asset from your parents. Karma will pay them back if there’s nothing I can do. We’ll see. Thanks for your comments.

Same happened to a neighbor, but after he died. A visiting niece stole his car, and the daughter could not get it back.

All I can think of is to make a police report. This will give you documentation and a place to start.

If your husband does not back you up, there is nothing you can do on your own to get the car back, unless you are POA. Maybe he did not share all the truth with you?

I hope this did not leave you without transportation of your own.
The car must have been an asset of the marriage, whether or not your name was on it?

You might need an attorney to protect your assets.

Try checking with the DMV who the car is now registered to.
The liability of a car transferring title can fall on you and your husband if the transfer is not complete, not insured in their name etc. and they have an accident.

I think your DIL and step son are trying to sell you a bill of goods here, and have done nothing of the sort, as AlvaDeer explained (unless your DH did sign the title over to them, unbeknownst to you). A person cannot just trot into the DMV and change the ownership on a car title! They're trying to boondoggle you, hoping you won't call them out on this lie, and they can drive off in this car that does NOT belong to them at all.

I have to tell you that it is not possible for your family to take the car and register it to themselves. This is a DMV process and the person to whom the car is registered must be present, must present ID, and must sign to have the car registered also in the name of a family member, or to change title on the car, having sold it. I don't know what happened here. I very much doubt that the title of this car is changed, and I would go to the DMV and check on it. Now do know, if your husband DID go and DID change title to the daughter in law and step son, then that is done. It is over. Time to let it go. Sorry it happened, but just let it go. Then see an attorney and make certain all your ducks are in a row, or they will steal the rug out from under your feet, too.