How do I dress my husband when he can barely stand up?

I sympathize with you. At age 80, this is really too much for you to be handling. You should not be lifting or moving your husband, especially by yourself. You’ve got to start thinking in terms of NEEDS, not WANTS. Your husband does not want to be in a facility. Can’t blame him BUT that is honestly what he NEEDS if you cannot take care of him and you are not able to willing to bring in full time caregivers. Think about your NEEDs not your wants. You don’t want male caregivers. Don’t blame you there either but the bottom line is, you need help. Your NEEDS far outweigh your WANTS, same for your husband. You should not be using male caregivers as a reason not to get your husband caregivers. What if HE is more comfortable with a male caregiver? I think it’s safe to assume that the home caregivers would be women anyway because most are. Facilities are where you will find more male caregivers in my experience. In this situation, your husbands gender preference trumps your preferences, he’s the one who will be receiving care. You can always leave and get in some self care while the caregiver is there. Do you want your husband to get the best care he needs? You must accept that at this point, a facility is probably the best place for him. Especially if you are resistant to bringing in outside help. Bottom line and I know you know this, but something has to change before someone gets hurt. Before you crash and burn and your husband outlives you.

MY LATE WIFE HAD ONE LEG, AT FIRST SHE DROVE BUT DOCTOR GAVE HER GABAPENTINE AND SHE LOST USE OF HER GOOD LEG. SHE WEIGHTED 185 LBS, I PURCHASED A MANUAL HOYER LIFT AND I WOULD USE A WEGE TO HELP TURNING HER . I HAD THE QUEEN BED AND I WOULD PUT HER ON THE BED THEN GET IN HEAD OF IT AND PULL HER IN BED, BUT I AM 6FT 215 LBS. USE A BED MAT ITS 36 INCH X36 AND I USE ANOTHER PAD PLUS DIAPER, I PUT THE PAD HALF WAY UNDER HER AND THE DIAPER ALSO . AND GO ON EBAY ND BUY THE NO RINSE BODY WASH SPRAY ITS NOT HIGH PRICED AND CLEANS GOOD WITH A NICE SMELL. I HAD ZERO BEDSORES. SLIP HIS PANTS IN LEGS LAYING FLAT HALF WAY, THEN TURN HIM ON SIDE IN BED USE WEGE TO HIS BACK AND PULL PANTS UP A LEG AT A TIME YOU NEEDHOME CARE HELPING YOU. I WORKED AS A AID IN SURGERY WARD WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD AND THEN P.T ASSISTANT SO I WORKED WITH 32 PATIENTS A DAY NOT ALL WAS WHERE I HAD TO TURN BUT A LOT WERE. BUT BUY THE WEGE HOPE I SPELLED RIGHT AND USE A DRAW SHEET YOU CAN BUT ALSO AT EBAY. BUT MY ADVISE IS TO ASK FOR HOME HEALTH TO ASSIST EACH COUNTY AS IT AT NO COST TO YOU. IF YOU ARE OT TRAINED TO HANDLE A PATIENT YOU CAN END UP HURTING YOURSELF. BUT ASK HIS DOCTOR TO ARRANGE HELP AT HOME FOR HIM WITH YOU BEFORE YOU END UP HURT.

This is way too much at this point. It takes two people to care for my mother. Today while changing her depends she was dead weight and her legs gave out. We had to use all our strength to get her on to the chair, but could not pull up her depends. She sat in her chair for five minutes with her depends down until my brother came back from the store and helped us. I know how difficult this can be. My advice place your husband in a facility. You do not want male caregivers in your home and you do not like your home looking like a hospital. There are not many options here, but it is in the best interest for you and your husband . He may not like it, but I do not think you have a choice in this matter. Do it sooner than later. The best to you.