My grandma is in moderate-severe stage of mixed dementia. I have been her main caregiver for last year and a half, but she has recently become so angry towards me on a regular basis. It will come out of nowhere, and she has been calling me names, and telling me to shut up constantly. She is also telling other family members how awful I am, and that I don't do anything to take care of her. I know that delusions and paranoia are part of the disease, but her constant disrespect has become very difficult for me to deal with. Especially when I have sacrificed, and done so much to take care of her. Any advice on how to deal with this sort of thing? It is almost miserable for me to keep coming back each day.

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My mother had chronic urinary tract infections. They made her nasty and combative. It was hard to accept being hit, pinched and scratched by your own mother. Have Grandma tested. She should go to her doctor anyway to find out what’s going on—why she’s so angry.

People with dementia often target their caregivers. My mom used to try to trip her’s when they passed by. Please don’t take Grandma’s anger to heart. Her brain is broken. Ask your family to pitch in with her care if they are not already. This way they can see that it’s not true what Grandma is saying about you.
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It’s a fine balance. They somehow figure out the one who caused all this confusion must be the one who comes and takes care of me. Or that’s what it feels like.

What is important to your GM? I know my aunt could care less that the floors get done. What she wants is a good visit. She wants someone to bring her a cup of coffee or let her dog out. God forbid you check your phone in front of her.
Elders can be jealous of anything or anyone you give your attention to that takes it from them.

The UTI test is always a good place to start with any recent change in behavior. It can be toxic so do try to get her checked soon. Often there are no symptoms besides the acting out.
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