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How did you deal with the stress, the anxiety attacks that go with caregiving when you see that an elderly parent is declining fast? For instance, a heel sore, bed sore that pops up from nowhere, or a toe going black from PAD, and other comorbidities? This didn't happen but I want to be prepared for the emotional shock when or if it does. So I want to know how did you deal with things like this since it happens fairly often.

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I think at the beginning of my caregiving years, I tried to prepare for what might be ahead. All the things I could’ve anticipated though, aren’t what actually happened. It seemed like it was always the unexpected at the most difficult times. All my worrying never helped. In fact, it left me in a constant state of high alert and anxiety that was counterproductive. I’ve tried to do better since then. Now, I try to roll with the punches instead of predicting them. Another huge thing is a support system. No matter what happens, if you have people to prop you up and help you through then you are very blessed. And don’t forget...AC is 24/7 so there’s always someone to offer wisdom, advice or a well deserved hug.
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For the anxiety, I found myself taking a series of about a 5 deep breaths. Slowly exhaling each time. Then begin again. Sounds silly, but it worked. Although in reality, nothing really works but deep breathing could help for the moment. I didn't want medication just because I didn't want the long term possible complications for when I don't need it anymore. I did find myself wanting to go home and hit the bottle, but I was too tired to drink.

As far as the declining health issues, I just had to come to terms with this being reality, along with having a support system of the caretakers and hospice nurses. If you aren't at that point yet, I hope you line them up.

It might not be easy growing old but it sure ain't no party taking care of the elderly either!!
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