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She needs funds for nursing home. My father-in-law died in September 2015 WITHOUT a will. There was very little money in the estate until his business was sold last month. The courts are moving very slowly to get the estate probated. My husband and I have been paying for her nursing home out of our own pocket, but we are rapidly running out of money. We have enough left for one, possibly two months at which time she will have to leave the nursing home. We are unable to care for her in our home due to her physical problems (incontinent, unable to walk/dress herself, etc) and because both of us work. Is there a program to provide temporary (until the estate is settled and the money from the sale of the company can be accessed) financial assistance?

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How did probate even get opened?
Usually for probate, you need a valid will to get letters testamentary issued and executor named and agent named.

So just what path is being done....lineal heirship....court appointed administration or just what?
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Mulling your ? over a bit..... is there a contentious situation with FILs estate & old business? Is MIL a second wife so there are other kids or 1st wife out there? Other business partners? Usually the spouse or kids are front line to be named administrator or to select the atty to do this if that what your states laws require. But it sounds like MIL and your hubs has been sidelined in all this. If so, the others involved may not have any interest in ever paying for mils care or needs. The business debt may be viewed seperately & get all the business assets to settle claims. If fil biz was 100% his, & he died with lots of biz debt, or biz is sold for low amount, then mom could be due nothing. Is this the situation???

If there could be all sorts of drama within his business & estate, I'd suggest you not wait for probate or whatever legal is happening to get wrapped up before you do something to get moms care paid for.

MIL could apply for medicaids LTC NH program. Medicaid will require into on her current & existing income & asset situation, the "what ifs" on the estate do not factor in till that actually happens and assets dispersed by the court. Probate could take years, so you have to come up with a different approach than waiting on probate as $$ is running out. Mil gets SS and maybe a retirement and more than likely will be within Medicaids "at need" income financial limits. If her current NH accepts residents as "Medicaid Pending" this will be pretty straightforward to apply for medicaid for her and she stays put. Speak with admissions and social worker at the NH. If this NH does not take medicaid ask which ones do that other residents have moved to. Folks run out of $ all the time & a better NH has info on other places for lateral moves. Hopefully they work with you in all this. Otherwise you just have to start calling around to find an open bed at a facility that takes Medicaid pending residents. Try to get on this ASAP this week as you need to gather together the documents needed for the application - like her awards letters from SS & her retirement, last few months of banking statements, her life insurance policies, etc. Again this is about mil current situation not what COULD happen in later. if Medicaid caseworker starts pressing on mil assets details (she probably has no assets as whatever there was went away when he died or is FIL assets & tied up in court), then you need to get an elder law atty to get this worked out.

About the $ you have fronted for her care, I'm not sure how complex this will be for you to be reinbursed from the estate of the deceased. It's not a claim against your FIL or his business or his owned property which have a system to enter to the agent or court to be included in the claims against the estate. I'd be concerned that funds paid on MIL care aren't a claim on his estate, that whomever is in charge will view it that you chose to do & pay this rather than turn her over to become a ward of the state with its ability for the court appointed guardian to force the court or state to cover MILs costs of care. Yeah not good....If there is a contentious situation looming over the settlement of FIL estate, this could get quite quite ugly. You may need for mil to get her own atty to get her a place at the settlement on FILs estate. Your at the 6 mo mark post death, there should have been some appraisals done, taxes filed, debts received, etc. If MiL is being left out on any updates or atty isn't being forthcoming to MIL or your hubs, I'd get an atty.

I don't know if all courts do this but see if you can get the docket print out from the court on all actions to date on the estate. Docket will detail the date & time of all filings with items filed as an attachment. I'd go to the courthouse and chat with the staff to get this emailed to you. 9:30/10 AM is a good time as court is in session so office staff isnt quite as busy. Take small bills cash cause if you have to pay for any documents courts usually arent set up for CC or checks. Take moms info like a copy of her drivers license or ID and wedding license or something to show she is the widow. Dont go into drama & be nice. Probate is usually all open-court so all documents available to the public. Btw I'm admist year 1 as independent executor for my moms estate, it just takes t....i...m....e.
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Get on the attorneys butt! It;s a small town you say.. ask him about this and ask others.. light a fire under his butt and ignor the sibling who wants it all for now. And take the advice above!
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Agree with Pam. I would document contact with the attorney, starting with a letter requesting an update and listing of what he's done, and what the status is.

In a small town, it's more likely that someone appointed is someone the judge knows, so you might have to ride this guy's tail to get him moving.

If you get any letters from the Probate Court on issues that haven't been addressed, you can file a petition to have the rep removed, but don't take the blame if he's not doing anything and the Court contacts you.
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Well I do think that it will over time be good that probate was done to clear the air and settle estate especially since there is a business of which FIL was part owner of and contentious BIL situation.

But we all have just so much time & humor and right now it needs to on getting her onto Medicaid first & foremost and probate second IMHO.

Good news about Medicaid. Get started on it now so that next month / May mil can be medicaid pending. There should be a list of documents that medicaid needs fir MILs application. Could be easy to pull together or could have glitches as some items (like insurance) coukd be somewhere unknown.....so you have to as DPOA or MIl requests copies of documents. The admissions /billing gal at the NH she needs to be your new BFF and make sure you ask clear ?'s. ask how the AL NH do Medicaid applications....for my mom in TX and MIL (LA & later TX) thier NH gave a list of items needed for Medicaid application which in turn they reviewed to determine if "medicaid pending" was ok and then they sent the application, document stack and thier NH bill to the state. Contact with caseworker happened after that directly with DPOA only after that point. & the caseworker was one who was assigned for that NH by zip code area. About the document list, MILs awards letters are paramount. These are the trifold mailing that SSA and retirements mail in nov/dec which state payments for the next year. Why these are important is it tells the NH what MILs copay or SOC (share of cost) will be. Like for my mom she got $ 1800 a mo so her SOC was $ 1740 (TX has a $60 personal needs allowance which they can keep); NH was positively giddy with excitement as this is a high cotton income for one on Medicaid. NH has to be paid the SOC during the pending period, so the higher the income the better the NH is financially.

You know there are lots of posts in the Medicare & Medicaid section that have oodles of insight in the whole process that would be good for you to read.

About the NH bill to date, you & hubs have been paying it 100%? Or has mil paid some as she paid her SS to the NH and you all paid the difference? If mil has over 2k at the end of the month in her bank account, it will be over the Medicaid eligibility limit for May, So find out ASAP as you may have to do a spend down ASAP to get her to end April under 2K.
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Thanks so much for the information! I have contacted Medicaid and gotten the application process started. The NH she is in does take Medicaid patients, so we are okay there....the Medicaid rep I spoke with was familiar with the facility. There isn't any problem with the business that was sold; fil was 1/4 owner, no debts against it, etc. MIL was the only wife, and the only children were of their union. The family is, well, not real tuned in to the realities of life. Their opinion was that there didn't need to be any probate of the estate; all the money should just be split up. They still don't think that going through the court process is necessary and that we are "just opening up a hornets nest" by going through the estate process. One of the children who thinks he should inherit everything by virtue of living with his parents for the past 15+ years began threatening my husband and refused to agree to have him as estate rep, and so we petitioned the court to appoint a court appointed representative. The rep is an attorney in the small southern town where my inlaws lived, and from everything we have been able to ascertain, has not worked on the estate, filed anything or made any effort to open probate. I was naive enough to think that the process would happen quickly enough that my mil would not have to use public funds to provide her care; there is money in the estate, but at this point it can't be used. Our largest fear is that she will be "kicked out" of the nursing home when my husband and I run out of money, and I hadn't even considered medicaid assistance. Thank you again for sharing you experience! I am going to print out your reply and work through each paragraph!
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Stop paying the nursing home bill and send it to the attorney. I had, until reading this, thought the estate could be billed.
Keep in mind, I know nothing, guess now I don't want to know anymore.
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