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My mother has advance dementia. I purchased a no rinse bath soap and she still will not take a bath.

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Had another blow out with mom today regarding a shower. She will not bathe or wash her hair or let me help in any way. It's just one argument after another. I told her I was going to have someone come to the house and help me and then she really blew up. I tried to talk to her nicely about it on several occasions, and all she says is: I just took one. It's gotten to the point where I'm going to give up on that part. I feel like I am the one who is going to die of a stroke.
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Have you tried adult bathing wipes? They are LARGE wipes that are used to bathe adults without them getting in a shower or tub. They are often used for bed bound patients. You would have to do it but it eliminates the need for the person to get into a tub or shower.
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Sue could you get her to put a circe on the calendar when she SAYS she has had one. So if for example she says today she has had one say lets put a ring on the calendar Mum so we can remember; then you can have one on whatever day it will be. Trying to work against them is like bashing your head against a brick wall so try and work with her and agree how often she WILL have one. Once a week would be ok as long as she washes in between times.

I keep a bowl of warm water in the room next to Mums commode and when she goes for a poop or a wee I wash her undercarriage by telling her she might need a little wash because I can see its a bit red and I don't want her to get sore. (OK so I might lie from time to time) then just for show I would cream her if I were you. I HAVE to cream Mum but anything that will get her to get in that hygiene mode.

Also you could sponge bath her in the shower or give her a big sponge. it may actually be she doesn't want YOU to shower her so you might want to consider a bath aide and be done with it. It isn't up for discussion THAT she has to be washed... but try the gentle way first and if she flat says no then walk away and try again later. If you use the calendar trick you then have a reason to ask her WHY she doesn't want a bath. You might also want to find out what SHE thinks is a reasonable number of baths a week. In the early days my parents certainly only showered once a week although they 'washed down' every day and by that I mean a flannel and a bar of soap and not a great deal more than a cat lick and a promise of things to come
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You might also want to google Tips To Reduce Bathing and Showering Challenges—A Therapist's Role it does at least give you an insight.

One of the tips includes actually getting them visibly dirty so that they ask for a wash....something I had never considered
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It's so difficult. I know that with my cousin, it was a real chore. I would tell her that we had to bathe before going to the doctor. She would plead and cry. I wouldn't argue with her, just insist. I would talk about the things we could do after we left the doctor office to distract her. She didn't like it, but she would comply.

Now that my cousin is in Memory Care, she doesn't give them much of a probable with it. They shower her 3 times per week with no fuss. I will add that now she is on Cymbalta, and that helps with her anxiety. That could have something to do with it.
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Thank you everyone. Big wipes and circle date on calendar are good ideas. Mom does tell me tho that she took a shower when i went to the store.......still doesnt hurt to try.
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Ask her MD to order a bath aide for her. Also watch the videos on youtube by Teepa Snow on how to bathe someone with dementia.
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