They do not feel there is anything wrong with them. They are BOTH terrible. This is very concerning.

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Can you get their doctor to talk to them? Have them sent for a driving evaluation by an OT?
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I discovered that the topic of giving up driving to be a process. It wasn't a decision or a discussion that happened in one day. It's a huge life change for the person whose family member feels they need to stop driving and it needs to be handled with compassion and patience.

I began by expressing to my dad my concern about his driving. I pointed out to him several dings on his car and I wondered where he had gotten them. I reminded him of an accident my mom got into as an elderly driver where she was sued. I finally told my dad that his driving worried me. I asked him how he felt about not driving anymore and he, of course, didn't think that was necessary. I put the topic on a shelf for a later discussion. I knew he wouldn't voluntarily give up driving. Most elderly people won't. But I didn't want him getting into an accident and getting hurt or hurting someone else.

My dad had a Dr.'s appointment coming up so I called the office ahead of time and had a discussion with the nurse. I explained to her that I thought my dad shouldn't drive anymore, that I had gotten nowhere in discussing it with him, and would the Dr. please weigh in during the appointment. She agreed.

Prior to the appointment I brought up the subject to my dad again. Same talk, different day. I knew I'd get nowhere on my own so I asked my dad if he would talk to his Dr. about it and agree to whatever the Dr. had to say. My dad respected his Dr. very much and my dad agreed to this. I would accompany him to the appointment.

As planned, my Dr. began to talk to my dad about his driving. I stayed out of the conversation and the Dr. ultimately told my dad that he shouldn't be driving. My dad agreed to go along with it and never drove again.

I felt that I had been very manipulative and it made me feel guilty. My dad didn't have a chance what with me paving the way prior to the appointment and going behind my dad's back but it was the right thing to do and I know the Dr. had to have agreed or else he wouldn't have come on board with this issue.

I don't think that anyone can just tell their parents to stop driving and I've never heard of anyone doing that and that command being effective. If someone told me to stop driving I'd laugh in their face and go for a joy ride. I don't imagine I'm going to feel any different as I get older. But the stop driving discussion usually has to be had at some point and the more sensitive and compassionate we are with our loved ones the better the discussion. Will your parents stop driving even though you are sensitive to their concerns and feelings? Probably not. But making the Dr. the bad guy worked for us.
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