Here's my take on that: Sadness and grief are appropriate reactions to gradually losing a spouse to dementia. There is nothing "wrong" with you that has to be "fixed." But if the perfectly natural feelings are getting in the way of normal functioning and the above-normal functioning needed for caregiving, then it makes sense to consult a mental health professional.
In addition to seeing a therapist, I have two other suggestions: 1) find and join a support group for caregivers of persons with dementia. 2) (if you are a reader) have a look at the book by Pauline Boss called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia."
This on-line support group can be very helpful, too. Even if you just read posts and seldom post yourself, it can help you feel less isolated. It is a connection to others who share some of your experiences.
Thank you for answering. I do belong to a support group and I read that book over a year ago and downloaded to my kindle.just re-read it last week, best book I have found? I don't feel depressed just sadness and grief over the losses..I tend to second guess when I try to figure things out. So much material out there and depression sounds like help is needed, my functioning is ok in all respects, just get emotionally tired of the situation. I think directly (and or maybe indirectly) you have shed some light, thank you again.
I'm sorry to hear how you feel, but I think it is emotionally exhausting dealing with the day to day care. Glad you are part of a support group. It is only natural and normal to feel the way you do. Its hard to see our loved ones become a shadow of their former self.
But if things start to feel too much or if you need more supports, don't be afraid to reach out. Access as many resources as needed. Consider getting more care or alternate care like assisted living. This is my big regret. I let my anger and resentment build and build. For myself, I needed counselling to help me find better ways to cope.
Depression often comes with feelings of sadness or crankiness, fatigue, loss of interest in things that previously brought happiness, loss of motivation. It can also be accompanied by aching in the muscles and joints; feels like you've been run over by a truck. Doc said the physical manifestation is caused by tenseness and loss of sleep, of which you may not be conscious. From my own personal experience, forcing myself to exercise or engage in some physical activity sometimes helps, but ultimately for the long term I had to try several different antidepressants under the care of my doctor until we found one that really works. However, if this is a temporary case of "the blues" I would certainly try the exercise first. Wishing you the best.
I constantly had a "feeling of impending doom",, best way I can explain it. and not wanting to get out of bed. I found some Ativan helped...LOL Good luck here, its a terrible thing.
"impending doom" is The Exact wording of my feelings too. The more I try to hide them, suppress them, change them into something nicer, the more they come back disguised as perfectionism, micro-managing everything, anxiety and anger. So I guess I have to accept them, if not embrace them. I'm just so scared of things to come.
If you know you are experiencing sadness and grief, you already are one step ahead. You are in touch with your feelings, in a way that goes in the opposite direction of depression, you know.
LoveRLabs2 - If you are in an ongoing stressful situation and think you might have some symptoms of depression, I highly encourage talking to your PCP. A trial period on antidepressants may be just what you need. And you can stop the trial if it doesn't help. (It helped me a lot) Blessings, Jamie
Here's my take on that: Sadness and grief are appropriate reactions to gradually losing a spouse to dementia. There is nothing "wrong" with you that has to be "fixed." But if the perfectly natural feelings are getting in the way of normal functioning and the above-normal functioning needed for caregiving, then it makes sense to consult a mental health professional.
In addition to seeing a therapist, I have two other suggestions: 1) find and join a support group for caregivers of persons with dementia. 2) (if you are a reader) have a look at the book by Pauline Boss called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia."
This on-line support group can be very helpful, too. Even if you just read posts and seldom post yourself, it can help you feel less isolated. It is a connection to others who share some of your experiences.
But if things start to feel too much or if you need more supports, don't be afraid to reach out. Access as many resources as needed. Consider getting more care or alternate care like assisted living. This is my big regret. I let my anger and resentment build and build. For myself, I needed counselling to help me find better ways to cope.
Depression often comes with feelings of sadness or crankiness, fatigue, loss of interest in things that previously brought happiness, loss of motivation. It can also be accompanied by aching in the muscles and joints; feels like you've been run over by a truck. Doc said the physical manifestation is caused by tenseness and loss of sleep, of which you may not be conscious. From my own personal experience, forcing myself to exercise or engage in some physical activity sometimes helps, but ultimately for the long term I had to try several different antidepressants under the care of my doctor until we found one that really works. However, if this is a temporary case of "the blues" I would certainly try the exercise first. Wishing you the best.
If you know you are experiencing sadness and grief, you already are one step ahead. You are in touch with your feelings, in a way that goes in the opposite direction of depression, you know.
Sending you much support.
If you are in an ongoing stressful situation and think you might have some symptoms of depression, I highly encourage talking to your PCP. A trial period on antidepressants may be just what you need. And you can stop the trial if it doesn't help. (It helped me a lot)
Blessings,
Jamie
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/depression-test
Also talking with others, they said grief is I feel bad about this situation but depression is more about I feel bad about myself.