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Mom is experiencing sundowning every day. Her short-term memory is failing. She has Parkinsons. Her mind races and her fears are overwhelming her. We've taken care of her at home for 8 years. She is a significant fall risk. We have 24/7 care. My concern is the emotional toll her anxiety is taking on her and how her fears may create an obstacle for her as she makes this move.

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I think the anxiety is a stage, soon she will be past much worse mentally but calmer. i am not an expert on Alszeimer's, but i have seen that happen. All you can do is reassure your Mom that she raised a capable son who can carry on her wishes. Just assure that her life will be different but still worthwhile, and that she can handle anything life throws her.
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I would not include mom in these discussions at this point. I WOULD consult with a geriatric psychiatrist about an antidepressant that has antisnxiety properties that won't increase her fall risk.
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Hi. I have been taking care of my mother, who has PD also, and I know what you are going through! Is she on any anti-anxiety medications? Are you planning on moving her to a NH soon? Is it the thought of a nursing home causing her fears? That is understandable if she has been living at home all this time and doesn't know what to expect; kind of like the first day of a new job. Have you visited the NH where she can meet some of the other residents?
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Thanks for your reply and questions.
Mom has not been on any anxiety medications because interactions with her other meds decrease her stability and increase risk of a fall.
We have no date for a move, but my wife and I (as well as nurses who come to see her) feel the time is coming. I'm visiting NHs in our area and have submitted an application to one that has good ratings, is close to one of my siblings, and has a pleasant environment.
I have not told her that this is what I intend to do. Her anxiety is related to her loss of memory and the confusion it creates in her. She has always been the point person in our family and I think her anxiety is her realization that while her tendencies are to stay on point (on alert) there is less and less she is capable of doing. She is holding on to her former role tenaciously.
Why haven't I included her in this process? That's a good question. Guilt. This is the necessary and correct thing to do. But she is no longer able to see such things logically. It's all emotions. Trust is a huge issue for her. Her emotions are being driven by her unwillingness to rely on others and her fears of abandonment.

Your thoughts?
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My mother is on Ativan but is unable to walk at all. She has been wheelchair bound since late 2005 when she broke her leg. Do you have a good neurologist and family doctor whom you and she trust to have a discussion with her on her medications? We have "played" with the medications my mother is on, with the consent of her doctors of course, to try and find the right combination for her. Of course, she has good day and bad days. My mother is also showing signs of Sundowner's. I TOTALLY understand the guilt issue! I promised my mother YEARS ago that I would not put her in a nursing home but since my father died last year, it is getting harder and harder to care for her at home. Anyway, I understand where you are coming from. Is there a support group nearby that can assist you on how to help her? Good luck to you!
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