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After seven years in a very lovely assisted living community, first in the retirement facility, then in assisted living, and now in memory care, my mother, whom I visit daily, has suddenly begun wanting to "go home". She will be ninety-nine this fall, and while up until recently we would take her out frequently for visits, walks, etc., she is no longer mobile, and moving her is very difficult. I try to take her outdoors in her transport chair when the weather permits, and she seems to enjoy this. Today, however, after I'd visited with her for an hour, she accused me of wanting to "get rid of" her when I got ready to leave. I let her caregivers know, and they said she'd been telling them this morning that she wanted to "go home". I left in tears; I don't know how to deal with this, and my siblings live in other parts of the country. Does anyone have any wise suggestions as to how to make Mom happier? Thank you.

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Home could be where she grew up. Since this is something new, I would go with that. They go backwards in their lives.
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Unfortunately, you cannot force happiness on someone who doesn’t want to be happy. My mom wasn’t happy unless she was unhappy. She would tell me, “I hope your kids never do this to you!” I handled all her affairs when she couldn’t, closed down her apartment, paid her bills, everything. She was totally unaware of what I had done for her. If I didn’t visit for a few days (I’m also taking care of my disabled husband and at that time I was babysitting for grandkids) she would even introduce herself to me when I came in. Guess THAT was her attempt at humor?

Must you absolutely visit her every day? I found that visiting my mom every day made her worse. She saved all her vitriol and fired it at me when I walked in. Then when I’d turn to walk out, she’d burst into tears and plead with me to stay. I could have crawled out through the keyhole. I discovered that if I did not go every day, she began going to bingo and to the other activities the facility offered. If your mom is reducing you to tears, it’s time to step back, at ,east for a while. She will be fine, really. Mine was.
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If this is a sudden change in her mental status, please make sure staff tests for a urinary tract infection! These can cause a wide variety of behavioral symptoms. ((((Hugs))))))
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Wanting to go home is common in dementia but when I read your account my first thought was she could be transitioning to end of life - have you noticed any other changes lately? This website has a pretty good summary of things to watch for:

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect#top
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