How can I get my nan to sleep in her bed instead of a very unsuitable chair?

How is the chair unsuitable? If it is a recliner, sometimes it is more comfortable for the elderly person to sleep in a recliner than in a bed for arthritic, gastric and breathing reasons. If she gets more sleep in a chair, or if you could get her a more sleep-friendly chair, let her sleep there. It would be better than being awake most of the night and not getting much sleep at all.

She should be tested for a UTI. My mother gets confused when she has a UTI, better to get her tested right away. My mom does better when antibiotics are started early for a UTI. Let her sleep in the chair for the time being.

My mom sleeps on her couch. She is comfortable there. She is in an ALF.

If she sleeps with her feet up, it's OK, but if her legs are down like she's sitting she'll end up with edema in her legs.

When my mother was in her first nursing home, she refused to sleep in her bed and only slept in a chair. The staff couldn't force her to use the bed (it's illegal to force them), and eventually her legs were so swollen with excess fluid that her skin started breaking down and they were leaking. I ended up moving her to another facility, and the chair didn't go along. Now she's in a bed every night, and her legs have healed.

It sounds like Nan shouldn't be living alone any longer.

Question is WHY is your Nan doing this? Is the chair by the TV and she wanted to watch and fall asleep watching? Is she more comfortable sitting up because of breathing issues? Could you move a TV and some real big comfy pillows to the bed so Nan could watch, sit up in bed? I would suggest some of those lounger chairs but many are naugahyde and not especially good for skin over time, and some are difficult for an elder to get positioned with feet up; they take a certain amount of strength, unless ordered as electric; and if there is dementia electric becomes a problem.

Is it possible that getting in and out of the chair is easier?
Is it possible, if this is a recliner, that the foot and head position are more comfortable?
Many people I know either sleep in their recliners or they have loved ones that do.
If she is watching TV can the TV be placed where it would make it more comfortable to watch in bed?
As far as the recent confusion that could be caused by a medical condition, if she is getting up often to use the bathroom it could be a UTI and that can cause confusion. And if she is having an urgent need to urinate it might be just easier for her to sit back in a chair rather than go back to bed.

Exploring possible medical reasons for the changes is always a good idea. In the meantime, there are chairs that are safe and comfortable and allow reclining with legs elevated. Could your mother handle that kind of chair on her own? Look for a chair with arms (to help keep her safe) and not low, so that it's easy to get in and out of. The suggestion of an overstuffed armchair might work if you don't want to get a reclining chair. My aunt used to sleep on her living room couch. There's nothing wrong with it, as long as she's comfortable and can sleep, unless it bothers other people in the house.

My mom does this too. For my mom it is a mobility issue. It is easier for her to get up from a chair than a bed.

Other issues are that she has to use the bathroom so frequently so getting up often is necessary. She also says that the covers are too heavy and she gets tangled up in them. She doesn’t ever get a full night’s rest so she would fall asleep in the chair due to exhaustion.

Like you, it used to bother me to see her sleeping in a chair but I realized that often she slept better in her chair. There may be legitimate reasons why your mom prefers the chair to a bed.

I never woke her to get in bed because she was finally getting much needed rest. It’s hard being old when things start to go so far down hill.

She’s no longer living with me and my sibling allows her to remain in her chair as well. She is well into her nineties and barely has any energy left. One of her common expressions is, “It’s hell to get old!” Indeed it is when there are serious health issues.

You have good intentions. I just don’t feel like we have control over some situations and I suppose if you have tried endlessly to change her habit of sleeping in a chair then you may need to let it go.

Caregiving is an endless job. It sounds as if you are doing your very best to make her as comfortable as she can be. That’s all that you can do. All the best to you and your mom. Take care.

Dear "Emm1981,"

My 95 year old mom with Alzheimer's has been the exact opposite. The LTCF gave her a brand new recliner because she was developing bedsores and every time they put her in it, she wanted to get up (to the point she fell) and crawl back in bed.

If your nan doesn't like to lie flat on her back, they make those wedges that elevate the upper body with the most height for the head. They also make cooling ones. They can be good especially for those of us who have GERD/acid reflux.

My Mother wanted to be where the "action" was,in the den and where her lift chair was and she sat all the time.
She was comfortable there,so I didn't fight it when she wanted to sleep there too.
I hope your Mother finds her right spot soon Emm,Take care~