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My mom occasionally has wet her underwear and hides them! I keep offering for her to wear diapers but she refuses and says they're too big and bulky (the pads)! She uses the bathroom when needed but those occassions are also bothersome. How can I get her to change into diapers? She hates them! Any strategies? Is it still too early to use diapers for her?
Also why do Alzhiemer's patients use the trash cans (next to toilet) as their potty sometimes?!!!
Please advise and help.
Thanks🙏

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1. Stop calling them "diapers" . Even though the term is used here and many people seem to prefer it I associate "diaper" with babies. I used the term "tab brief" or "pull up brief" or just "pull up"

2. Remove all her underwear from the drawer or wherever she keeps it. Replace all of it with the 'Pull up" type brief. At that point she will have no choice but to wear what is there. (unless she goes "commando")

3. As to a possible reason that she uses the trash can. With a white toilet, a white seat and maybe a light colored floor it is difficult to tell where to "go" Replace the toilet seat with a darker colored one or one with designs on it. (Or spray paint the one that is on there now..if it works you can go get a pretty colored one)
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The underwear situation sounds stressful for your mom. No, it isn’t too early. If she is having accidents it is time. Some women start with wearing incontinence (overnight) pads in their normal underwear. Has your mom done that? I think that’s probably more uncomfortable than the pull-ups. The best thing is to go all in. Change out all her normal underwear for the pull-ups. I made the mistake of placing the pull-ups on top of her regular underwear. Then I would find her wet pants on the washer. I took out the regular underwear and problem solved. Once the only choice is the pull-up, she will become accustomed very soon. You will wonder why you waited so long.
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There are some continence care underpants which aren't bulky at all, both washable and disposable types. Some are positively soft, and you'd be surprised too how much difference a pretty butterfly printed on the front makes to a person's feelings when she puts them on (and it helps you check which way round they go).

Go to any online continence care site and you'll see how many different products are available. Get a few and let your mother try them, I think she'll be pleasantly surprised. As a very rough guide and NO ENDORSEMENT the most popular brand with my clients seems to be Tena; but some of the own-brand supermarket pull-ups are almost as good as long as you remember you do tend to get what you pay for.
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Don't call them diapers.
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Midkid58 Nov 2021
I know this is a bugaboo with you--but MANY of the elderly ladies I know refer to their 'incontinence supplies' as diapers. I personally don't, when talking to them--but when talking ABOUT them, yeah, I slip up b/c sadly a lot of people don't KNOW what incontinence IS. Had a friend thinking it was the same as "incompetence"....and she couldn't figure out what I was saying.

Mom & her cohorts ALL refer to their depends or whatever as their diapers. (I personally agree it's kind of offensive and demeaning).
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You might get more compliance if you stop calling them diapers, psychologically some people are very resistant to the idea of crossing that line. Special underwear, pull-ups, and fancy pants are all suggestions from the forum.
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OneBlueMoon Sep 2021
I don't call them diapers but new underwears! Instead of her using a lot of tissues I tell her this underwear already has them and your pants don't get soiled if any accidents happens. Still she refuses!
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I was so lucky. My Mom had been wearing pads for years for her problem. When she was in rehab, the suggested the pull ups. She loved them.

Take the trashcan out of the bathroom. Sometimes their brains can't tell the difference. Outside of Moms bathroom I had a small laminated table I brought from her house. I caught her pulling her pants down to sit on it. Didn't catch her in time. Yep, that table was gone. No rhyme or reason to Dementia. So don't try to figure it out. Maybe buying some pull ups you can replace them with her underpants. They have really improved them and show middle aged woman wearing them.
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