My husband is oldest of 5. Their mom has been diagnosed w Alzheimer's & I seem to be the only one (besides her Dr) that wants to be proactive TODAY! They hesitate for a number of reasons, including "Mom" doesn't want help, Mom might not be "that far gone" yet, Mom might create a financial burden to us, Mom might create increase in time required, etc. Her doctor stated (on her recent visit) that she should not be left alone, so sibs agreed to try to visit or call her more often. Hubby & 1 bro has power of attorney, & bro does her $. Sis grocery shops. Neighbors call when she wanders. So, in a way, there are some small "proactive" steps being implemented. I just hate to wait for something bad to happen. Any recommendations for how to get them to get her monitored in some way would be appreciated!
"Should not be left alone," does NOT mean try to visit more often. It means she needs supervision available 24/7.
The brothers with POA need to arrange for around-the-clock care. If they have magic wands, great, they can get the family to pitch in and fill the schedule. Otherwise they need to arrange it without family participation. Some options are Adult Day Health Program (day care), paid personal care attendants, moving in with family, moving into a suitable care center.
To the extent you can convince them of their responsibilities you'll be doing a great job. Or find a magic wand.
Who was in the room when the doctor said mom should not be left alone? To then leave her alone, even for a short time is VERY concerning to me. I'd be terrified something terrible would happen and I'd be blamed and held liable. The police and social services could get involved. In fact, the doctor is required to report it if there is neglect. So, I'm not sure what their problems are, but, they don't really matter when someone's safety and well being is at stake.
Often, dealing with the care of a person with dementia is unpleasant, stressful and they are resistant, but, it still has to be done for their benefit. Reading up on the matter might help inform the hesitant family members, but, I'd be careful that time is ticking. I'd treat it as an emergency. Can they hire her aids to stay 24/7 until things get worked out?
I totally agree with the above answers. One more piece of information you need is that when MIL falls and gets taken to the hospital, the sibs should let the doctor and the discharge planning folks be the bad guys who say "no Mrs. B, YOU CAN'T go home without 24/7 care.
The MUST not show up and say " don't worry, mom, well take care of you".
I hope she survives that fall or that stroke.