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Ive brought my 92yr old dad who's been recently diagnosed with dementia, to Florida for the winter from Michigan. Its definitely an adjustment for him and I thought maybe getting him involved at the senior center, where they have activities for dementia patients a veterans club and other activities that he could participate in. We took a tour, he perked up a bit but after we left, he lost interest. I tried to explain that he can go there just a couple days a week and that it's better then him staying home watching TV. Hes always been active but this last year, he's lost his lady friend, dementia, TIA attack and me spending the summer with him and now bringing him to Florida.


I know it's a big change, I've noticed that his memory loss has increased along with questions. Hes cried here and there, asking when is he going home and I explain calmly that we'll go back to Michigan in April. I just want my dad to be happy, be active again and not be in this "I give up" mood. The "I've already lived my life " mood. It's sad to watch.


What can I do to, if anything, get him to go, just give it a try, I've even tried reverse psychology..lol..that didnt work. I get it, different place, and just wants to stay where i am, as i am his security blanket right now.


plus, it'll give me a little break too, I've noticed the clingyness. And he feels like hes become a burden, and I've explained that he is definitely NOT a burden.


So for now I'm looking for things I can take him and we can do it together.

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Music - theatre - my dad loved jazz
Crosswords - used to go to the local pub for a meal and folk were great - helped him do crosswords and socialise
Get him to help with preparing meals - anything so feels useful - shelling peas or peeling potatoes etc
I used to pop the lens out of my glasses for dad to fix
Cards - dad couldn’t remember the game half the time so it was great fun - lots of laughter
Respite day care - went with him first 5 times and stayed got him chatting to others and joining in activities. Then got him going for another month without me - but eventually he didn’t want to go.
Unfortunately they can lose confidence with age and dementia
To be honest he’s done very well to get to 92 without just watching TV and snoozing.- he might struggle in social situations without you. Then if watching TV is what he’s happiest doing now I really wouldn’t stress him with outings.
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I totally agree with DD. I know you ha e the best of intentions for your father, but he may just want to be left alone. He’s had a lot going on in his life this past year and may just need some time to adjust and cope. My mom got very clingy, too. I just stayed close.
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Lesson I learned real fast. You cant be responsible for someone else's happiness. as sad as it is, that's reality.
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Thanks for the advice..I wont force him but definitely do things with him. Luckily I live in a town where theres always something going on, theater, movies, picnics..I think dad would be lost on his own in a social setting and prefers to stay close..
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