In my County POAs are not required to be filed with the County Clerk.
I don't see where when asked the sister cannot provide the paperwork. To me this would not be against Moms wishes. It actually would nip any problems in the bud. It would have been nice if Mom had told her other children that for her own personal reasons, she chose a certain child. My Mom did. I called my brothers and they both agreed, I was the one living in the same town, I should have the POA.
I really think a POA should be handled like a Will. Once the person assigned needs to take over, they need to send siblings and interested parties a letter stating that they have now taken on the responsibility of POA for Jane Jones, who assigned them, because she has been found incompetent to handle her finances and make informed medical decisions. Please contact me if proof of POA is needed. Anyone can say they have POA so I don't see why the other children can't ask for proof. Dr offices request it. Banks request it, why can't the persons other children request it.
JoAnn29, I could hug you for saying this! I wish you could advocate for some law change.
Last time before dad went into the nursing home, he asked me to please take him to the hospital (he was deathly ill). I spoke with sister asking her for permission (permission) to take dad to the hospital and bring him back home if they discharged the same day.
Again the POA came into play and she went to saying he isn't going nowhere and you not taking him anywhere. This is what my sister has been doing for two years now right down to mom's death.
The funeral home when mom passed was the only one that demanded proof to put on file (which she never produced). All others (doctor, nurse home, ambulance) just say someone else has POA and shut down any and all conversations.
Firstly, I doubt your sister could 'fake' being POA as most actions (bank, hospital, etc.) will request such authority from a certified copy beforehand. But the simple answer: Just ask your sister for a copy (also, depending on your mother's capacity, you might even have a quiet word with her about it). Secondly, if she is POA, then there should be no problem complying - the tricky thing is to not make it appear distrustful as your sister may be doing much to assist your mother. If not, or there is some reluctance on her part, you may need a solicitor's letter to escalate your request (but by that stage things have already taken a turn for the worse). Lastly, as the POA is a legal document, you might be able to contact your mother's solicitor who notarized it - there should be a record somewhere (and depending on where you live, I think you can even go through 'Public Registers' or something along those lines where you can retrieve the document for a small fee).
Ideally, you might be wise just showing a little more trust - if you haven't mentioned the POA, your sister should not be expected to realize what may be eminently obvious to her. Best to keep an open mind and regular communication and, if possible, share in the duty of care by offering support and assistance wherever you can.
The only way is to ask her directly (since your profile says your mom has dementia/ALZ and may not be a reliable source for the answer). If your sister says yes then I'd ask for proof of it (although I don't think she's obligated to show you or tell you anything) and they others have no legal authority over the situation.
If she says no, and since you've said she doesn't give you much info, you should show up in person to assess the situation if you're worried about your mom. Your sister could not keep you out unless it is her house. At this point your mom may be too cognitively compromised to assign a PoA, so you'd need to consider guardianship by a family member or the county/state. If your sister keeps you out you can request a wellness check by APS but then the gloves would come off and the relationship will deteriorate fully.
If she says she doesn't know, then you'd still have to go there in person to figure it all out. I do not think a PoA is ever a public record but you can check in your state.
POA doesn't have to share any information with family. If your Mom cannot answer this question tell your Sister "I am so worried about Mom, because she cannot fully act on her own now. Have you any idea if she has appointed a POA to handle things for her". If you cannot get an answer either/which way, you may be out of luck. You can request at her bank if you know which it is. They may tell you if there is a POA handling her work. They cannot divulge who it is, but it is worth a try to reassure yourself that he affairs are being handled at a time when she cannot handle them. Try to repair your relationship with Sister. Offer her help if she is caregiving. Be supportive. Most POA are no registered in any county entity. So short of being told by Sister or Mom there are very few ways to find out.
I don't see where when asked the sister cannot provide the paperwork. To me this would not be against Moms wishes. It actually would nip any problems in the bud. It would have been nice if Mom had told her other children that for her own personal reasons, she chose a certain child. My Mom did. I called my brothers and they both agreed, I was the one living in the same town, I should have the POA.
I really think a POA should be handled like a Will. Once the person assigned needs to take over, they need to send siblings and interested parties a letter stating that they have now taken on the responsibility of POA for Jane Jones, who assigned them, because she has been found incompetent to handle her finances and make informed medical decisions. Please contact me if proof of POA is needed. Anyone can say they have POA so I don't see why the other children can't ask for proof. Dr offices request it. Banks request it, why can't the persons other children request it.
Last time before dad went into the nursing home, he asked me to please take him to the hospital (he was deathly ill). I spoke with sister asking her for permission (permission) to take dad to the hospital and bring him back home if they discharged the same day.
Again the POA came into play and she went to saying he isn't going nowhere and you not taking him anywhere. This is what my sister has been doing for two years now right down to mom's death.
The funeral home when mom passed was the only one that demanded proof to put on file (which she never produced). All others (doctor, nurse home, ambulance) just say someone else has POA and shut down any and all conversations.
But the simple answer: Just ask your sister for a copy (also, depending on your mother's capacity, you might even have a quiet word with her about it).
Secondly, if she is POA, then there should be no problem complying - the tricky thing is to not make it appear distrustful as your sister may be doing much to assist your mother.
If not, or there is some reluctance on her part, you may need a solicitor's letter to escalate your request (but by that stage things have already taken a turn for the worse).
Lastly, as the POA is a legal document, you might be able to contact your mother's solicitor who notarized it - there should be a record somewhere (and depending on where you live, I think you can even go through 'Public Registers' or something along those lines where you can retrieve the document for a small fee).
Ideally, you might be wise just showing a little more trust - if you haven't mentioned the POA, your sister should not be expected to realize what may be eminently obvious to her. Best to keep an open mind and regular communication and, if possible, share in the duty of care by offering support and assistance wherever you can.
If she says no, and since you've said she doesn't give you much info, you should show up in person to assess the situation if you're worried about your mom. Your sister could not keep you out unless it is her house. At this point your mom may be too cognitively compromised to assign a PoA, so you'd need to consider guardianship by a family member or the county/state. If your sister keeps you out you can request a wellness check by APS but then the gloves would come off and the relationship will deteriorate fully.
If she says she doesn't know, then you'd still have to go there in person to figure it all out. I do not think a PoA is ever a public record but you can check in your state.
Ask the person that has POA for proof!
Visit the local court house to search the records!
Apply for guardianship with discovery being part of the process!
If a doctor refuses to give information citing POA by someone - ask for proof!
If you cannot get an answer either/which way, you may be out of luck. You can request at her bank if you know which it is. They may tell you if there is a POA handling her work. They cannot divulge who it is, but it is worth a try to reassure yourself that he affairs are being handled at a time when she cannot handle them.
Try to repair your relationship with Sister. Offer her help if she is caregiving. Be supportive.
Most POA are no registered in any county entity. So short of being told by Sister or Mom there are very few ways to find out.