How can I find out about my Dad's condition?

He should assign you his Power of Attorney for health care. A copy should be kept in his medical records but you should always keep a copy, as well. If he hasn't done that and needs your help now, have the clinic/hospital give him a HIPAA form that says it's okay for you to see his records. He can sign the form stating that they can give you the information. This has to be updated yearly but it would help right now if you need it. Good luck,
Carol

My stepmother is back in the picture so I will have to go thru her. He has age related dementia and seems to be in and out of a confused state. They have a very rocky marriage and she left him over the holidays(probably the 15th time she has left him).

Well the HIPAA form is something you won't need to go through her for I don't think as long as he is still able to sign. My grandma signs one everytime we go to the doctor's office and she always puts my name down (well I do that part and she just signs) stating I'm able to attend the appointments, receive her paperwork and record and talk to the doctor freely and them talk in front of me. We started adding my name to these types of papers during this last fall since my mom was dealing with cancer surgery and was unable to attend every appointment and deal with the rehab and hospital papers since she was dealing with her own things at the time.

Now understand it doesn't allow you to take over the person's care. You can't demand another appointment or demand a course of treatment without POA. It just allows the doctors and the offices to talk to you about what's going on and to see the records and to talk in front of you if you are in the office with them. Hope that helps.

A person can sign hipaa forms for as many people as they like. My brothers and sisters in law all have them for mom so that we can all have two way conversations with the medical staff, and we all share information. Who gets to weigh in on approving treatment is another matter. In my understanding, Healthcare proxy only kicks in if the patient isn't capable of expressing their wishes.