So I love my mother in law dearly but she is 4 months into grieving my father in law. She doesn't drive or speak good English. She was so used to taking care of her husband (he was 20yrs older) and cooking. She was basically a homemaker. She cries alot for him and I feel bad for her. I've on the other hand kinda feel like she is looking to my husband as her male figure. She has the need to take care of him, he opens the car door for her, walks into the stores with her. Things he used to do for me. She had a way of taking care of her house and to me it seems like she wants to take over my house. I do things a certain way, and without seeming to harsh, I tried to explain what I like done in my home. She told my husband that she is scared of me, and she will ask me if it's ok to take a shower. I clearly explained to her that she doesnt have to ask to take a shower or eat food we have or to do her laundry. She makes me feel like I treat her like a monster. I bought her puzzles, word searches, painting rocks, adult coloring books, to try to get her into a hobby. She double bagged them and put them in her closet. Me and my husband been arguing and I feel like it's putting a wedge in our relationship. Please, I need advice!