Between my son and me, we have cared for my mother for 13 years. I alone have been caring for her 11 years. Last weekend my brother and his wife came to visit my mother. I started to vent about taking full 24/7 care for her. Tears were flowing from my eyes while I took out my frustrations. On top of caring for my mother, I am babysitting my 8 year old grand daughter until school starts. I am at my boiling point overwhelmed with too much stress.
When I mention a nursing facility to my mother, she tells me I'm throwing her away. Then my temper festers and I say hateful things. Like why can't my brother and wife take on some responsibility? She does not like my brother's wife and refuses to visit them. I don't know how my brother thinks I can handle everything with my many health problems. They are well off financially and have 3 empty bedrooms in their home. I tried to remain neutral and calm but since they have left, I am miserable.
I have anxiety and major clinical depression as well as dealing with pain management issues with my back and being isolated in a small apartment has been very challenging. My brother makes up excuses and always uses the same argument that the drive is too long and difficult to do. I think I have more than paid my dues to my mother and that she should be more compliant with my desire to place her in a good facility. I try to be kind to my sibling but now I wish I could just drop her off on his door step and give him the opportunity to spend time helping her as I have been doing. I really don't know what to do as I have been crying uncontrollably since they left to return to their home.