The current situation is this hospital is allowing her to sit in feces and open wounds and claiming they can’t move her. My mom is obese and tall and this nurse just told me this. I have been told even before it got this bad that she is heavy and they don’t have anyone to move her. After the arrests two weeks ago, she is nonresponsive. She has internal bleeding that they couldn’t check which requires biopsy and the nephrologist won’t do dialysis. The reason I am reaching out is this… I know she is passing but why all this confusion. I said go ahead with the trach last week and the surgeon calls and said she doesn’t want to be the one that kills her. Then she said the reason the docs are just wanting to turn off vent is because they need the ICU room and to get out of this facility for however long she has left. Also that the next step is an ethics meeting. How is it ethical to allow someone to sit in soil and not clean them but unethical to abide by their wishes? Also the care coordinator called on Friday to see who the medical Poa is claiming it was to update the record. I think they are trying to do whatever to expedite her out of here to save money when I tried to have her moved before it got like this. Accepting she is passing is not enough., to them it is not soon enough. But my question is can they try to take away her rights or mine in this meeting? This same facility barred a family from seeing their parent due to them administering some alternate treatment that the doctors did not agree with. They had to go to court to get their rights back and he died several days later at another facility. I sure wish I could move mom… no one should pass where they are not wanted. Ty for all advice.
I am so sorry for the position you have been placed in.
If your mother's life could have been saved, the doctors would have advocated for her to have tests and treatment.
I hope that you have been able to accept the reality of your mother's situation and that you have found peace.
Kind wishes to you and your family.
Have you any updates for us on how you are doing, and on your mom's condition?
Thinking of you.
She honestly sounds either brain dead or one step above that.
She can’t get a MRI to assess brain death because she is so unstable medically.
Your mother is being kept 'artificially' alive. The vent is making her breathe. The reason a Dr doesn't want to do the trach is probably b/c your mom will NOT breathe on her own and she may likely pass on the operating room table. No Dr wants to be a part of that.
Simply (well, it sounds simple, but I realize it's rife with emotions!) removing the vent and making sure mom is comfortable and out of pain--she will pass within minutes.
You do have to ask yourself the very hard questions: "Am I capable of making the decision to remove all the equipment she's on that's maintaining a very low quality level of life?" If that answer is no, you can't, then you have to live with the results--mom can be sustained on a vent for a long time. She's not getting better and she won't.
Is this what she wanted? Did you ever discuss EOL wishes with her?
The hospital is caught in a bind: they don't want your mom to suffer and they know a LOT more than you do about her actual status. I'm sorry, it's very, very hard.
Do you have POA?
The hospital is making very little money on your mom as a patient. They're not going to turf her to another facility, they want to give her comfort and peace.
I think this committee may meet and discuss your mom and make recommendations to the family as to what they can do for her, but it will be up to the family to make the final decision.
I wish you peace and calm as you move forward. This is really hard to deal with, I know.
I assume that mom cannot be moved because of morbid obesity that can only be solved with a large number of staff with a great risk of injury to them.
As for you, you are also suffering the trauma from her own choice. But she will not live forever and this is a pointless exercise.
If you would just release her, she can be removed from the vent with medications so that she will not suffer. Death might happen within minutes. Then the disease which ravages her body can take over to a "natural" and a propper end. Everything that you want for her is unatural.
Some other little details. It is radical to think that a hospital wants to get rid of a patient to open a bed. I have seen in my career, several patients of all ages spending more than a year. This leads to the LTACH. They have fewer staff. Most will reject on the basis of weight. The vast majority will not take a ventilator. Patients have to wait for only a few facilities to have a bed open up.
Well, yes, absolutely. Doing something this stupid will get you removed from the hospital, yes.
Your mothers Medicare will cover the transport charges along with the care she'll receive at the hospice home 100% if she dies within the week. After that you will have to pay out of pocket for her to stay there, but it will be worth every penny as she'll be well taken care of and be able to die in peace. And you can't ask for more than that.
It is excellent that this will go before the ethics committee. They are there to explore all options, all laws, and reassess whether life exists according to verifiable measurements of same. They will call in the experts. The family should be/will be involved. We cannot be privy to the details here, and there may be some that you, yourselves are missing. When there is no longer any chance of any quality of life whatsoever or any return of brain function, Hospice may be brought on board.
If you feel this hospital isn't being just, call Joint Commission on Accreditation of HOpsitals, JCAHO, which numbers you will find online.
Wishing you good luck.
I think what you posted says this, just in a different way.
I can't imagine they told you the things you state they did, that's horrible. Definitely an ethics meeting is in order. Hopefully they can clarify the situation and provide better care.
Are they asking you to remove the ventilator because she is already gone and her body is only alive because of mechanical intervention?
Are they using 2 person assists for Mom, if not, they should be. Those sores should be attended to by a Woundcare nurse.