Hospital forcing me to pick up mom with dementia.

If OP has proof (videos) or mom threatening to attack minor children...I think there would be far less sympathy for an elder who could/would not live in a decent civilized manner with family.  I think most people would put kids first and expect parents to do so too.

It is all about money or lack thereof.

Benny they don't have money for assisted living.

Elaine,

I am so sorry to hear this! I am sorry to say this. I don't like being disrespectful but those people are idiots! My God, I would have been furious with that phone call accusing you of neglect! Yeah, like they care about your mom. They clearly don't care. So ridiculous! So much freakin red tape that doesn't make any sense at all!

People don't care. It infuriates me. I'm in a funk from watching the news earlier. First a woman was killed by a float at one of our parades tonight. After that a report came on about a 15 year old honor student that was riding the bus to school with his brother. The kid had epilepsy. He had a seizure on the bus and no one helped him!

The bus driver was told by the kids on the bus that he needed help and he just ignored him. The kid died at Children's Hospital. Such a sad story. I started to cry listening to his dad speak.

Bus drivers are supposed to have basic training in emergencies. They are transporting kids. They should be responsible people. The bus company is claiming the driver was not at fault. The parents said it was all caught on camera. Our buses have cameras on the bus. They are making their son's story public so another child won't die like their son did.

They are placing pressure on the bus company to force them to be responsible while transporting children. The kid's brother begged the bus driver to help. He neglected that kid. By the time he pulled over and the kid was transported to Children's Hospital he was brain dead. The brother asked for help to follow instructions what should be done quickly when seizures happen. The bus driver would not even look at the instructions.

The same with your mom. You have told them your mom should not be alone! They are heartless! Makes me crazy. I don't care if it's the law or not to be able to legally discharge her.

This is the way to go! Good for your husband. United stand.

Yes. Watch New Amsterdam Tuesday nights on NBC. You will appreciate it...

Searching for Mzsz1977 didn't work, but by clicking Mzsz1977 above this post, clicking "Following" and then clicking on "I'm Medical and financial POA of my brother. He needs 24/7 SNF. He is also a convicted sex offender, so hospital can't find placement. Advice?" will get you to the thread.

Quicker, now that I have the topic is to select the Search icon at the top of the page and copy/paste "I'm Medical and financial POA of my brother. He needs 24/7 SNF. He is also a convicted sex offender, so hospital can't find placement. Advice?" will get you to the link for that thread.

If nothing else, it is somewhat of a feel good thread, as things worked out for this person!

The hospital SW and case managers are the ones who actively work to find a SNF for you.

You need to read her responses (and all the responses here) before you post. Mother lives in daughter's home. Everything you wrote has nothing to do with this situation. I honestly don't know why you wrote that or would write something like that without informing yourself first.

What’s a SNF?

I could be wrong, but in reading older posts, the OP said a Miller Trust was not an option in her state and her mom had too much income to qualify for her state's Medicaid, but too little to pay for care.  Don't mean to be flippant, but it sounds like we need to plan carefully what state we age in.

There are NO assets and unless the EC attorney OP is going to see can work some magic, her mom's income (1400/m) is over the state Medicaid income limit. She also doesn't have a "long time" to work this out.

What if she can't find placement in a NH? What then? She can't let this go on at home, it is dangerous for both her family and mother. Unsafe. The sad thing is, it is all too often next to impossible for some people to find NH placement, especially those with moderate income. and then there is little help from anyone else. Many people stuck in situations where there is nowhere to turn.

Ok, the link defines somewhat, but doesn't really provide any insight on what one can do, other than contact EC atty. Any similar links for child abuse/endangerment? The woman is violent to family members, including minor children.... She also didn't "dump" her mother there, she was getting evaluated. Perhaps refusing to have her discharged back to the home would fall under this "abandonment", but there should be some compassion for the situation and for the welfare of the family and children.

The responses don't come up in the order in which they were posted so sometimes the reader is responding without all the posts being read.

NO! 10mgs of melatonin is waaay too much to give without a doctor's intervention or overseeing. I can appreciate your concern, but the advice is not relevant for this thread.

Yes, competent good hospitals will help find proper placement. That is why they have social work departments. But you don't have to ask for it at the beginning, it can be done after evaluation by the professionals.

"...she would have to spend down savings until she is Medicaid eligible and the house would need to be sold. Have you contacted any facilities on your own?"

No savings. No house to sell (never had one.) No assets.

OP has already posted mom's income is 1400/m, MC is 4000/m, Medicaid limit for their state is LESS than mom's income.

OP would LOVE to have mom move to a facility, but mom can't afford it, is over the Medicaid limit and CAN'T take her back into the home due to safety issues.

for Pete's sake, please read through this thread and Tiredmomma's responses. Mother is in Daughter's home. Mother would qualify for LTC Medicaid if she's medically needy. Physician has already recommended LTC.

Sounds like in OP's case, the social worker/discharge planner has to be pressured to do his/her job. Not just take the easy way of saying "your problem, not mine."

Not everything is so simple, and in this case, that discharge would be to a toxic, unsafe environment. Probably unethical.

She's had no success finding a long term facility. What if Tiredmomma got sick herself or injured or incapacitated? Would hospital still send demented Mom home with no one there? What would they do then? Decent medical facilities that follow ethical guidelines ensure discharges that are safe. Tiredmomma is no longer able to provide safe care. She no longer has the capacity to care for Mom. The social work department must do their job and assist people in need like this.

Mom's assets should be used for her care - not protected at the taxpayer's expense.