My mother is coming home from respite today.

My sister's niece owns several hospice homes in our city. I think they're mainly for Alzheimer's patients, but she has at least two vacant beds right now. She offered to take my mother. Actually, she offered to do it for free because she said she has to pay staff the same amount whether the beds are filled or vacant. While this is not sound business, family is family. And my sister is her favorite aunt.

First of all, my sister said no way would we take advantage of her offer of not paying (it costs $5000 per month). And then, she said if we put Mother there, she would die hating her guts. It was understood we were to care for her in her home no matter what.

I know this is a common theme--promises made might need to be lovingly broken for all involved. Mother would actually be better cared for in the hospice place because those people are trained to move and lift dead weight. Both of us are already suffering physical and emotional trauma (is trauma too strong a word?) from taking care of her. Who knows how long she'll linger?

I'm leaning toward the hospice. My sister wants to stick it out, and she has POA. Oh, I pet sit for extra money and I have several gigs lined up in July never thinking Mother would still be alive. She went to respite for this last one, but what will happen next?

I guess I'm thinking "out loud" here, but I would appreciate any input. Thanks.

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I think that your mother will be pleasantly surprised at the good care she receives at a family owned hospice facility. Think how lovely it will be for her to have rested cheerful family members visit.

Perhaps if you tell your sister that you can mo longer share this burden because it's doing you physical damage, she will change her mind.
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