What do in-home health providers do?

When I go into a situation, I always let the person know that I know how hard it is to let someone come into thier home... I know I wouldn't like it until I could learn to trust that person...this seems to 'open a door' with communication... and I try to get them to 'help' at first... to show me how they do something, if they are able, or try to follow step by step instructions from them...it gives them a sense of power over thier lives and includes them.... so possibly you could ask your HH folks to talk with your mom and aunt and see if this helps.... I know I am capable of doing anything that needs done, but it has to be 'thier' idea...
And they will get over the upset in due time, when they see that you aren't going to do it, and the helpers can... just a rough time for them to let go of one more stage of thier independence... let us know how thing work out...

It can be hard for the elders to allow even someone into their home-you can go by what is on the brochure-they can not give meds but the list you have is what they can do-do they want you to do what they need and are you able or willing to do those things-it may take some convincing for them to accept help especially if you are spending all your time doing things for them-it helps people to stay in their homes instead of being placed that may have to be explained to the both of them. Most elders think their children or generally one child can do it all and that is not possible in this day and age. It may have to be your decision-my husband would not go to day care and wanted me to do everything even when he had aides helping him and when I saud he needed to be placed he said no to that -at that point I told him it was not his decision any more to make-I just could do it anymore.

This is really good input. My mother and aunt only want people they know to come in, but that is not always possible. I gave up working full time to help them two days a week, but don't want to lose the job I do have. My mother keeps making excuses that home health isn't helpful, but my friends who have had the services for their parents have filled me in on it, and I know that my mother is fabricating it so she can guilt me into doing more that is in her mind and not even needed. She has so much time on her hands, that she thinks of things weekly that she wants done. I can barely keep up with working, helping them, and having a life. And still, it's never enough. So, I've drawn the line, but they don't like it. I agree with you that after a point, you have to stand your ground. I'm hoping that will force them to get the services they need. Thanks for responding!

Thank you! Your advice really helps!