Should I hire a private nurse for Mom in a nursing home?

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One aide in Mom's nursing home keeps offering to do "private" work for my her on weekends...in the same nursing home. Weekends and holidays are always short-staffed at this place, but has anyone ever hired a private nurse to supplement the nursing home staff? How does the nursing home administration handle that?

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Lena
What is the nh rated by Medicare ? Is it possible to move her elsewhere ? Unfortunately Ive seen firsthand bed ridden folks calling for help while the CNA is asleep in the hall or reading a magazine or on a cell phone
Most only get their diaper changed a couple of times a day
Do you have family friends or church members that drop by for at least a short visit each day ?

It's expensive to hire a sitter but most of us have done so

My moms first stay in rehab following a broken back resulted in renal failure from dehydration and hospitalization for a UTI requiring treatment by an infectious disease specialist and this at a five star rated facility
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please help me, my mom's in a nursing home for 2years now and has had 18 UTI's. They say she is prone to them. She never had them home. I go every day and many times she is sitting In feces. She is wheelchair bound and can't use her legs. She tells me she calls and calls to go to bathroom, they say in a minute. HER DIGINITY is gone. She has slight dementia, but remembers some things very well. I have only two rooms and she requires an aide 24/7. Her SPIRIT is gone. I am not just talking about my MOM but have heard others residences BEG to go to bathroom. I am so depressed I don.t know what to do. Can anyone please give me some advice. Thank You. Lena
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Hello i am a CNA HHA also and i do go into homes and nursing home and take care of love ones and trust me its a big help for the family cuz mostly nursing are very short on the wkends and with us like me come in its a big releif for the nursing home and the family ..sometimes they take her home and i go into the home i even went on a trip with them (i flew too) cuz they didnt want to leave their mother here alone..so yes by all means hire her to help out on the wkends its good thing
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DulcifromDenver I applaud you and hope that maybe you can use your mothers SS or assets to pay yourself or use for her supplies and keep her with you. My husband and I also have my mom, and she has one on one daily. I hope and pray someone stays with me if I get old like this, and not put me in a NH. My adult children have watched us take care of Mom, and also helped us, and they said they would never do that to us. I prefer at at-home help, let them hire someone for me but please no nursing home, hey can oversee but not be tied down. I am here for Mom and no one will ever neglect or abuse her, we spoil her, she deserves it as she was a great Mom and would do it for me. Best of luck to you.
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People need to realize that the $8000 - $9000 (private pay),or approx.$4000 - $5000 Medicaid dollars each month the nursing home collects is for room and board and 'staff' only, everything else is being charged to Medicare/Medicaid.We are talking many,many more thousands each month they are raking in from the government..Let not even talk about all the kick backs from pharma suppliers,ambulance services,medical equipment suppliers,non in house doctors on retainer,personal care, hospitals,etc.With these huge amounts of money being spent every month you would think the care would be premium.It is not.Then the family needs to spend thousands more to hire private caregivers or devote their own time because they can not do their job efficently?This is why Medicare and Medicaid are in dire straights.Nursing homes have some of the most powerful PACS and lobbies working Congress and they almost put to shame many of the other special interests working the government for dollars every day.This is the reason they don't want you to care for your loved one in the private home.
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After 2 NH in one year, 2 of which both my parents were neglected and abused, I took them both out and brought them back home. My dad died within a month of being home because he was so sick with what happened in the NH. Three months later I put my mom in the 5Star best home that we'd been waiting for 3 years to get her into. I took her out in 6 months because of the lack of care in her podunk town, the abuse she got and the fact that instead of checking for UTIs, they just gave my mom pychotropic drugs that made her sleep 20 hours a day. None of the nursing homes ALLOWED me to help her to the bathroom, nor did they ALLOW anyone coming in from outside to help with her to the bathroom because of 'safety concerns'. She fell in their 'care' three times in 6 months. In my 45 years of caring for her, she fell once with me in the shower 5 years ago.
HIRE SOMEONE TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER. $20 for a one hour visit is a lot, especially if she's just a student. I only paid $10 for a girl to go in once a day.
My mom lives with me now and my husband in Denver. I can't afford to keep her but I will because I refuse to let her live her last days in a place where she is abused, neglected and ignored and drugged. DO NOT listen to the aides when they 'volunteer' themselves. Do NOT tell the administrator who is was because your mom is there alone and these people (not the admin but the workers and nurses) will retailiate against you for speaking to the admin. Just ignoring your mom will affect you so just tread lightly. Then get an ombudsman. Every state has one.
Good luck.
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I retained her sitter that was with her daily in my home as a nursing home "friendly companion". She does not do any care for her because of liability issue with nursing home, but just goes there daily to check on her. The nursing home is near my home, so she divides her time between going to the home for an hour or two, then she goes to my house and cleans and does errands while my mom sleeps or is in therapy. This works well because I work long hours in a neigboring town and cannot get to the facility "at the drop of a hat". My mother loves more than anything the security of having her long time sitter with her. The nursing home treats her well, so we are very fortunate--but nothing can replace the one on one interaction. If you can afford it, I would say do it, by all means.
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Thanks again for all of your replies. To clarify, Mom is in a private, family-run nursing home that (supposedly) rates high on most lists, but, as several of you mentioned, there is never enough staff on weekends or holidays. We have Hospice, but they only visit 3 times during the week.

Mom is paralyzed on her left side from her stroke last August, so she needs assistance doing almost everything. She can operate the call button, but sometimes it falls away from where her right hand can reach it. And sometimes Mom just can think straight enough to know what to call about.

To those of you who give care at home, I salute you. I don't have the patience or the knowledge to do that myself, even if I didn't live 800 miles away (I fly in about 2 times per month). I don't even know how I would get her to where I live. So she's stuck in the nursing home and I'm stuck managing her care from a distance. A few relatives that live near her do drop in occasionally, but I can't count on them to notice anything or let me know if they do. All that talk about "establishing a care network" kind of falls apart eventually. That's why I hired the student nurse to send me reports...and I specifically instructed her NOT to help the nursing home staff because I didn't want the place worried about liability issues.

Mom hates it there, I don't blame her, but I've had to tell her its the new reality. Four months ago she was living alone, going to exercise, driving her car, having a beer occasionally, and then the stroke took that all away. But she's 88 and having a hard time accepting her current limitations. I guess I am too.
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Liability. I am going to get a mom sitter or something of the like, to talk with mom, entertain her advocate for her. Luckily (if that is possible) I was laid off in June 2011 so I see my mom every day twice a day...I see the short comings in the NH...mostly, i see patients being ignored...there is no or very little one on one. I would not have the person I hired to transport mom , chair to bed, wheelchiar to chair etc etc as that would be a NH liability and I don't think they would agree to that. The person could grab a cna and have the cna do it so the hired person could take mom out to the garden during the spring/summer; feed mom a snack, make sure she is toileted and more I don't suggest you have the person you hire doing transport or cna duties as theNH will likely not agree. the cna's at mom's nh do not allow their staff to work for the family privately and they certainly would not let their staff therefore, work right there in the NH for the family.
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D2, That's my experience. You are right. The family need to know.
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