Hiring care vs. Life Alert for short errands?

CWillie really nailed it. Who are these judgemental know it alls. THe amount of care family members are providing and saving the government is astronomical, but they're going to tell us how to do it?


BTW, just for anyone who might not think of the obvious...if you have someone, even physically up to errands...but they have dementia, don't forget to get a disabled parking pass. It's a challenge to take my mom to Costco...but I figure the exercise is good for her as is the entertainment of shopping...and I figure the close parking, if there are any spots, is my reward LOL.

LifeAlert, Apple Watch, Jitterbug, FotoDialer (landline that calls people by pressing a button next to the photo of who you want to call) are all good, but different options.
There are good options now, which is so refreshing.

We recently put my mom In an assisted living facility due to this. She is 92, was living in an independent senior living facility but fell and broke her hip. It definitely depends on your mother’s cognitive ability. My mom never thought to use the pull cord or her life alert but instead crawled to her apartment door and yelled. Had she been in a different situation she couldn’t have gotten help. My mother’s cognitive function has gone downhill since the fall.

Hi I really appreciate your post. I'm a F/T caregiver for mom who is blind now. Im very frustrsted and depressed since i have no life. My sister n daughter live 1 1/2 hour away. they come sometimes but its the daily 24/7 and then if my daughter comes I want to be with her alone so we can't leave mom. She's very anxious when I'm not in the house even if I'm in the garage doing laundry. I have a baby monitor so I can hear her. But not sure if the life alert would be helpful since she'd probably would push it alot. Since she cant see she hears noises out side and gets scared. Even tho I leave TV on soaps or shows to listen to, she gets very nervous, but she always was a worry wart. I do have sitters for longer periods for my food shopping. But i would love to go out for dinner or dance to have a life but no one can sit with her for 4/5 hours in the evening unless I pay them alot since they would have to put her to bed. Put her eye drop in one eye for glaucoma. That's another issue I'm going thru with her eye Dr, he wants to try laser. Her other eye is totally blind. She also stated mild dementia altho when her visiting NP visits she tells them she's fine, I've heard tho that elderly lie alot...lol
I've had agency aides but I'm scared to trust them. The camera is a good idea but I'm not tech expert but will try if soneone knows a good easy one. So now looking for women around community and have meeting today. I'm sorry I'm all over the place because I'm tired and overwhelmed can't get anything done (paperwork) I'm sure you know! She also gets up now in middle night. Thanks for any advice n for listening. Good luck, God bless you.

I wear a life alert like a watch and never take it off. If I press the button it speaks directly to me.

One fall I had was out in the road when my hip broke and i just collapsed. could not get up and a passing motorist stopped and helped me up . declined further help and slid along the side of the car into the drivers seat. After that drove to the post office and dropped mail in the box. Was going to UPS but decided to go home. drove into the garage and managed a few steps and up a couple of steps to the nearest chair and yelled for DH.
I do have a companion now DH has passed but spend hours alone but can manage with a walker. This week my objective with PT was to be able to get up off the floor by myself. With lots of grunting and creaking I did manage to the astonishment of both the PT and my caregiver. I did wait till there were two people there because I am too heavy for my caregiver alone. She can do it but it kills her back. I had been tempted to try but thought better of it.
Back to the OP I think it is fine to leave someone alone for an hour or so as long as you feel they are safe.
I also think a camera is an excellent idea. My daughter got one for my caregiver so she could check on me when she was outside mowing. I don't think she does.

The biggest problem I can see with any type of alert where you have to press a button to call for help is at some point many people will not be able to comprehend "press a button" And many become non verbal, others may panic when a strange voice talks to them. the other thing is when first responders get to the door will they be able to gain entry without having to breakdown the door (going back to getting a lock box they are aware of)
A friend of mine had a system, may have been Life Alert where if they detected no movement for a set time period they would contact her or contact 911. Not sure how much that cost or if that is an option with all units.
So I guess bottom line, how able is the person to
1. know they need to contact someone for help.
2. Are they able to verbalize the problem.
3. Will they be able to get to a door to let someone in if no lock box has been provided.
4. Will they use it/ wear it all the time.

If a person has been sitting for a while, gets up to go to the bathroom, gets lightheaded and passes out..they will only be able to call after they are conscious and that might be 1 minute, 10 minutes???
There is no "perfect" solution. A fall will happen, not a matter of IF but WHEN. And a fall can happen when there is no one there or when the family is there. It is no one's fault, no one to blame as long as the fall was not caused by something preventable. (area rugs, electric cords, a blanket on the floor, a shoe left by the door, the cat that walked in front of me and 100's of other causes)
Keep things as safe as possible, minimize risk and hope for the best

Yes, Life Alert calls me first, then my sister and then 911. My mom used it once a couple years ago, I had just left the house to get groceries and they called my cell while I was on the road. I was able to get back home right away and pick her up. I do like the idea of timing errands or even just being outside working the garden to her naps.

Well, if she falls, whether you're there or not, the damage would be the same. Unless, you were able to catch her. My in-law did that and then both of them were injured. So, for an hour or so I would risk it as long as she isn't a wanderer. Or can't wander. Life alert would call you or other family members before calling an ambulance, right?

My father would take a nap at exactly 1:00 p.m. until 2:00 p.m. I would run quick errands at that time.

No, I don't like Life Alert. My late mother had one, but she made up her own "rules/ideas" about it. She would wrongly not wear it in the shower. And even if I told her that she was to keep it on in the shower, she would still go with her "wrong mentality."

I agree with them 100%! My Mom had a stroke getting into the shower and had the Life Alert right next to her, which is useless unless activated. She ended up laying there naked and cold for two plus hours, until her Hospice nurse called me saying she wouldn’t answer the door.
These things are in my eyes useless, and give you a false sense of security.
Then you have the false alarms which I experienced many, breaking speed limits, traffic laws you name it, only to get there and find out she’s was fine and wondering why I was there and frantic.
Human life is too precious to be left attended by a stupid call button. Get a human it’s worth every penny!
Just my two cents.

My aunt lived alone in her early 90s, and had an occasional fall problem when she got up in the night (which we improved a lot by giving her a touch light so that she didn’t try to do it in the dark). She didn’t hurt herself, and she could move a bit, but she couldn’t get up on her own. Her monitored alert button recorded falls, and if the monitor couldn't get an answer it went first to young family members living close by who were capable of lifting her to get her up. If they were away, the call went to ambulance. It would take the ambulance at least an hour to get there and get her up. If you are back home within an hour, you will do as well as we could anyway.

When my husband and I did our house renovation, we installed a hook into both sides of the doorway from the bedroom to the bathroom. With a strong anchor point above a door, you can get a simple chair on a pulley and slip the seat under the person. Then it is much easier and safer for the carer to raise the person enough for them to get their feet down.

I love all the responses! It gives me a feel for what everyone's experiences are and makes me feel not so alone:-) my mom rarely gets up during the night, and my bedroom is next to hers so I would hear it and get up to help her if she did. I'm a light sleeper, too. Probably because the cat gets me up half a dozen times during the night. Mom does have some dementia, so whether she'd be aware to press life alert if she needed to, I'm not sure. I can try taking her with me on quick errands, she is relatively mobile that way. Might do her good to get out of the house. I do think the agency is up selling, and I realize they couldn't report anything because there is nothing to fort. She actually fell when a nurse from the agency was with her. Thanks again for all your input! I love all of you caregivers!

Although the agency would benefit from more hours from you, they may be coming from a thoughtful, caring place. It only takes a short time for a loved one to fall and yes, many of them won't press the button on their lifeline. But it also reminds me of when you have a baby. Every single piece of equipment says, "Never leave baby unattended!"

Is you mom able to go with you on any of these errands. I used to go on short errands with my dad that didn't require him getting in and out of the car. We went to the transfer station, post office, gas station, quick banking, had a car picnic (I packed a washable and decent looking bib that came in its own stuff sack!), and bought essentials at a quick mart where I could see him from inside. Occasionally, I would take him out of car with gate belt to folding wheelchair. Yes, it is work, but we couldn't afford to pay for more 24/7 care. Our town council on aging offered a volunteer who once a month would come to a shut-in's home and prepare a chicken in the oven and while it was cooking, have tea and cookies and social time with the shut-in. They also provided a "day care" two mornings a week that culminates in a lunch. Transportation in the COA Van was free. Those mornings provide huge blocks of time to get things done. I do suggest attending the first session with your loved one to make sure it is a good idea in practice:)

I am curious ... Who would the agency report you to and why? In my opinion, the agency is up selling as previously mentioned. If you are comfortable with your arrangements then stay with them. When a salesperson comes to your door, do you have to buy?

Hi Kbuser,
My mother also had Parkinson’s Disease. Although I wasn’t her “caregiver,” I did provide some daily assistance to help her while my dad was away at work. I would go to spend my lunch break with her and bring my kids over after work until my dad got home in the evening. She had both a Life Alert and cell phone strapped on her at all times. I could see the potential of her falling. I encouraged my dad to get someone to come sit with her. All he would agree to was 3 days a week. Good enough. Better than nothing. On one afternoon that the sitter wasn’t there, while making her lunch, she fell in the kitchen and broke her hip. She used her life alert to contact emergency and my dad. Within six months, she was gone. Were there possibilities of her falling if the sitter was there? Yes and no. If the sitter was there, she would have had less chances of a fall because the sitter would have been there to ASSIST her with her needs. That fall was preventable every way I look at it. In my mom’s case, my mom was left for hours by herself. I wish that I had known the things that I know now. My dad never made the house safe for her walker, because he didn’t know any better.
I am now my dad’s caregiver. I have companion help while I’m at work. When my dad first came home from the hospital, they sent someone out to assess the house to ensure it was safe for him and his walker. My parents home has laminate floors with large area rugs and thick throw rugs everywhere, including the kitchen. It all had to go. Changes in the arrangement of furniture etc was recommended. I followed everything they suggested. My dad has had two falls in two years. Both times, I was there, but not in the room. No injuries. Preventable? No. The falls just happened. Was there anything he could knock his head on? No. It’s all been moved or removed.
There are times that I have errands to run as well. I sit him in his recliner with the remote, cell phone, Life Alert, water, and clear instructions not to move around. I also call him while I’m away. It provides reassurance in his case. I also have both of the neighbors phone numbers in case I have to call on help. The other alternative I have available is the two teenage girls that live down the street. They sit with him and chat, or play UNO, while I’m away. It’s a lot cheaper than the companions from the agency.
Okay, I’ve said much more than necessary. Just wanted to give you a well rounded view of my experience.
Take Care & Best wishes to you and your mom.

Electronic Caregiver is a personal alert system that has a fall alert system you can add on to one of the packages. The fall detection is a one time charge of $25 and no monthly fee.
I would not go with 24/7 care if all you need is the fall detection. It is very expensive! Does your mom get up during the night? If she doesn't you definitely don't need a caregiver while she is sleeping. If she does you can get alarms that is a pad you place on her bed, if she gets up it will set off an alarm letting you know she is up.

We have a fall detection system for Dad. Unfortunately, it didn’t work on one occasion, as he’d tucked it inside his shirt pocket. He was left alone for about 45 minutes and Mom returned to find he’d fallen, broke a rib, punctured a lung, a week in hospital. So now we don’t leave him alone ever. We learned the hard way that he needs someone with him 24/7.

Maybe this will help - I just read where some smart watches have a fall alert function that automatically calls 911 after detecting a fall. I live alone with no one to help me should I fall and pass out. I’m thinking of getting one and going to the Apple store near me to set it up (they schedule classes to demonstrate these tech gadgets).

As has been mentioned before on here, how can they make you feel negligent for leaving for less than an hour at times when there are so many elderly people without the means for constant help who are home alone most of the time? Grrr.

Didnt see it mentioned so how how an automatic alert she does not have to push herself.

It does not sound like you need a CNA.
A companion sitter, sometimes they may be called a Home Health Aid. No need to pay the higher cost of a CNA at this point if you do not need it.
I do not see in your profile where you mom is living. If she is living with you then if she is a fall risk you only need someone there if no one else is.
Anyone can fall at any time in their home (or out for that matter) if your mom can get to a phone she can call for a "lift assist" (a call to 911 just to help her up, no transport to the hospital and in most areas there will be no charge) The first responders do need to be able to get into the house so a door should be left open or provide a lock box where a key can be kept. (very common practice but this has to be arranged in advance)
She should have a phone with her at all times if you do not have one of the services where you press a button to summon help. The cost of that is between $50-100 a month and if you live in an area where there are frequent power outages the battery backup is probably not that long. A cell phone may be less expensive. And a cell phone does not have to be activated to make a 911 call it just has to have a charge.
There are many volunteer organizations that have sitters that you can call upon if you have errands to run. Check with your local senior center. This would be for an occasional time not a daily ..sit with mom from 9 to 3..

The agency involved is in CYA mode most likely. People can fall anytime anywhere unless some one is by their side consistently. Can she comprehend enough to not move while you are gone? I.e. everything has been tended to prior and she's comfortable, has what she needs? I might chance it...but you will feel dreadfully guilty if she does go down. Maybe your local senior center may have a volunteer that can come keep an eye out for the hour? I know of one situation where the caregiver knew the person would sleep through to a certain hour and she snuck out and back before the person was up...

Even if you watch her 24/7 the possibility of falls still exist. My mom with end-stage Alzheimer's falls are infrequent because I am with her 24/7 -- but the majority of the times she has fallen..was when I was *with* her because it happens SO FAST there is no way I could have prevented it. As for nursing homes--let me assure you they fall all the time in those places. The only time they are reported to loved ones is when there is injury. Hired sitters are likewise not always safe. They can also be on their electronic devices, focus on the television, etc., while you are away.

My mom recently fell getting into bed and I was WITH her, holding on to her, and she fell to her knees. When that happens she is total dead weight. No injury since I have a fall mat but I managed to get her up with a considerable amount of difficulty and a Hoyer lift.

They are more likely to fall with urinary tract infections, upper respiratory infections due to increased weakness and confusion..but also any kind of psychotropic drugs. I have my mom on no narcotics and no psychotropics to minimize this risk.

Even with sitters you cannot eliminate the possibility of falls. All you can do is the best you can and if they do fall just call 911 to get help to get them up.

If she is end-stage later down the road, you may want to consider hospice alternatives. They will offer sitters but they are volunteers.

If you hire a companion not from an agency--although infrequent or rare, they can claim to fall in your home and sue your estate; things get more complicated because you may end up having to pay a nanny tax if you use them frequently..if I do use a sitter it will be from an agency that has insurance, and they do cost more but they handle all the legal stuff like tax laws.

My DW is probably a little further along and unreliable in following instruction so I hire a companion, not a CNA, to sit with her if I need to go shopping or to some Dr visits ( like stress test next Monday). Otherwise I try to take her with me.
I know she would not push a button if she fell. And she has gotten down onto the floor to take a nap and other gymnastic positions from her youth.
Just my example of our situation being different for comparison.

My DW is probably a little further along and unreliable in following instruction so I hire a companion, not a CNA, to sit with her if I need to go shopping or to some Dr visits ( like stress test next Monday). Otherwise I try to take her with me.
I know she would not push a button if she fell. And she has gotten down onto the floor to take a nap and other gymnastic positions from her youth.
Just my example of our situation being different for comparison.

Also instructions to stay put, sit in favorite chair and so forth won’t work either. My mom slipped off of chair and off of bed too while ‘just sitting’. Parkinson’s is a mean disease! They lose control of their motor skills, so sad.

I too have a mom with Parkinson’s disease, she’s 93, falls also.

I can’t rely on the alert system at this point. We have had two that were defective and didn’t even detect her falls. So naturally if I hadn’t been home she wouldn’t have received care from 911.

I immediately called and reported the defective unit and they did send out new one. If she falls like my mom, she needs someone with her. Last time my mom fell it involved a trip to ER with staples in her head. Thank God, no bleading from the brain or broken bones. It’s terrifying for them to fall. She needed me there. When she was younger and before her falls, I did rely on it for very quick errands.

Don’t depend on them being able to reach phone either. My mom keeps phone close to her but during a fall, everything goes flying.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all and your helpful and comforting answers to my question! Thank you! I feel much better about the whole situation. I will definitely look into an Apple iwatch instead of life alert. A gait detector sounds amazing! I'm not sure mom would know to press the life alert button if she fell, but I'm never gone more than an hour. I will look into a different agency, this agency does seem to be trying to intimidate me. There are a ton of home care agencies nearby and all have the same rates. It's so comforting to hear your stories and experiences that are similar!

Hi KB, yes I am in a similar situation. I care for my motherinlaw who is 94 and has Parkinson’s. She has her mental faculties but has a lot of difficulty walking. She uses a walker in the house. We hired in-home care a couple of days a week for about 4 hours so that I can get out and get some stuff done, but that doesn’t cover everything that needs doing. So when I need to run out to the grocery store or drug store I give her the life-alert button and tell her to keep it on her while I’m gone. She often says, “don’t worry about me, I’ll stay right here” (in the chair or bed), but 9 times out of 10, when I get home she is not in the same place I left her. Thus the need for the life alert button. When we were first looking into help at home, a home care nurse said, What if there was a fire? Could she get out of the house by herself? The answer is, probably not, and I worry about that sometimes. So the button gives me peace of mind when I leave for an hour or so, and for the longer spells of 3-4 hours out, we have the agency caregivers. I wish you and I could share a cup of tea and swap stories. It’s nice to know someone else who’s in the same boat.💕