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How can I become a caregiver?
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My mother asked me to quit my job ($300.00 a week) and move in to be her full time caregiver. She did a lot for me in my lifetime and we agreed that this would be my way of paying her back. I slept in the same bed, washed her, dressed her, cooked, cleaned, shopped, doctor appointment, companionship. I did this for 3.5 years with only a few weekends off a year. My big mistake was not getting something in writing. She passes away, and my brother think I don't deserve anything for my 24/7 care for her, because I lived here for free. I would appreciate any advice or direction. Would it do any good to see a lawyer?
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Just a bit of advice having had two very bad carers when you hire someone make sure you pop home a few times when they dont expect you to make sure they are doing thier job right. This keeps them on thier toes!
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what is the life span of someone with dementia
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If you hire someone through a newspaper, always call the references. In addition, it could be good idea to test them out for a few days, for example, have them work a week-end (of course, with pay) to see how they fit in with your family before actually hiring them. In my family, a main problem has been finding paid caregivers who are reliable. Quite a number of them would call in sick a lot or would say that their car broke down. If you can find someone who is reliable you have struck gold.
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Agree. I would start with a reputable elder care company and make sure they are liscenced and insured; conduct background checks. Clearly identify the position responsibilities and care needs; expectations up front. Understand vacation, illness and/or other time off or leave for this live in. Get references from recent persons or families that have had this same caregiver.

Secondly, understand what this person can or cannot do. For example, in my case a live-in didn't turn out to be an option because my mom wouldn't sleep thru the night and constantly needed watched. This required two 12-hr shift CNAs instead of live-in care which we had hoped for and was more cost effective. So understand the needs and that these care needs can change over time.

Lastly, if there is substantial cash, valuables, etc. in the home, you should put those in a safe, locked secure closet/space or off-site (safety deposit box or other) BEFORE you hire the live-in so that there will be no questions should these items get misplaced or disappear.

Lastly, make sure the personalities will match for your loved one AND for you. I would also advise that you or trusted friend or neighbor be able to visit frequently in initial months to oversee the level of care and make sure it meets your needs and expectations.
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Make sure you feel comfortable with the person you hire. You will be living with that person. If it takes a few interviews to find the caregiver you mesh with well, then conduct several interviews.
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Yes, do be careful. You may want to check out AuPair companies.
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Be careful hiring a live-in! Familiarity really can breed contempt, abuse, financial and emotional exploitation. ALWAYS check a number of references and do not hire someone because they "seem so nice". Objectivity and clearheaded reasoning is needed. Have someone more objective and less stressed than you also interview the person. Please use caution!
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You can go through an in-home care agency (advised if you aren't sure of your responsibilities as an employer, which you may become if you hire an independent person). If you want to assume the responsiblities of an employer, you can advertise, but be sure to do an appropriate background check and credential check.
Good luck,
Carol
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