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My partner has been diagnosed with early onset dementia and is now in a care home. She was my full-time caregiver, so now I’ve employed one. I’m suffering from terrible loneliness as I don’t know anyone local having moved here was her idea. She’s now storing food like a hamster and lashing out at caregivers which, makes me feel so sad as it’s not her. She was such a gentle soul. I’m also just recovering from breast cancer and have been diagnosed with osteoporosis. I have bad anxiety every time I have to go visit her, even worse now that she’s going downhill. I haven’t seen her since before Xmas This also fills me with guilt and dread now. I’m going today and have been up since four thirty worrying about it. Any help/advise would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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I think it would be a good idea for you to find a counselor to talk this through with. Your partner seems to be going downhill rapidly, you have no local support other than one or more paid carers who you don't know well, you have serious health and mobility problems yourself, and you find it really difficult emotionally to visit her. In fact the relationship is on the skids.

It might end up that you need to look after yourself first, and it might mean moving back to where you came from if you have more support there. You are not in a good state to provide support to your relationship. Hard situation! You really need someone to talk it through with.
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Thank you, I know that I need counselling but accessing it is another matter, there’s at least a year’s waiting list and that’s the ones whose lists are open, a lot have closed them due to excess demand .
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