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I have been a caregiver for my MIL who is in her 6 phase of dementia The problem is my SIL who is 48 years old and has lived with her and son who is also mentally ill. The past 6 months my SIL has been in and out of mental facilities due to her behavior. She flips out screaming, swearing, throwing things. We have called 911 5 times where she was removed and placed. My BIL keeps letting her back in the house even tho he knows himself that she is a danger to not us but to others. This last time he allowed her back. Well within the next 3 days she started again. I told my BIL I can not keep doing this. It's not good for his mother or him. Everyone has to walk on eggshells when she's around. The county office had placement for her this last time but he refused say he'd give her one more chance. This will never end. This past week she called me everything but a white woman. So I told my BIL I can't do this anymore. So I quit.
Just worried about my MIL. She's so sweet and neither of them know how to take care of her. All my husband and I can do is wish them well. Bottom line (she needs to be placed in a group home) Everyone has babied her all her life.
Also my BIL has mental issues also. Been crazy!!

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Yes, get MIL placed.

I wonder if you can get a restraining order. You have proof that she has been taken out of the home and placed muliple times. If u can do this, then your DH needs to tell his brother that a judge has ordered that sister cannot come back to the house. I also wonder if APS can get u help in having the State become guardian of ur SIL. Just thinking.
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marski58 Feb 2020
The only thing is the previous time which has been the past few weeks that she was returned home because they said they hed no placement.
So she came home and tje following werk they called my BIL and said they found a placement. He told them no that he was gonna give her another cjance. I think it's all about the money because she is on disability.
But my husband and i know things are not gonna change. That's why I bowed out.
Like beating a dead horse!
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If MIL is not in a safe and protected environment, I'd let APS know how bad it is, so they can step in.
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MIL should be placed for her protection.
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marski58 Feb 2020
We have a number of apps in from different nursing homes.
Of course they all have a waiting list.the only way she will be placed if she falls and hurts herself which requires hospital, then maybe rehab. Till medicare kicks her out this system sucks for the way the elderly are deserving of their rights of being old with dementia and have two mentally ill adult children taking care of them. One of them no less POA?? Just sad, I have tried to make scents of this for 6 years. Finally had to give up.
They are on there own now, I just hope they take care of their Mother.
Thank you for listening to my rant. So discouraged.
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I’m sorry for the situation. You did the right thing by getting yourself out of it. Sometimes that’s the best solution, let others play in their own mess
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marski58 Feb 2020
I know this has been going on for years. I took this on about 6 years ago when my husbands mother started showing signs. Tjank god i had the time to do it. Not only for her but for the family with 2 mentally ill in laws.i helped them with everything that needed done. No quams. They are so needy. They sometimes make me feel like they. Can't function on there own. That's what scares me, as far as when I'm not there, is she being taken care of?
At wits end.
And she isn't even my own mother! But I love her with all my being!!
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I hear and feel your pain. I have a sister who is a paranoid schizophrenic. Our dad is 87 and in a LTC. I have 3 brothers also. It's an awful and stressful situation. HUGS!!!!
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