Follow
Share

I retired from my legal secretary career of more than 40 years at the age of 64 to care for my mom (I just turned 67 a few days ago and she is going to be 101 shortly). I decided to do gig work for the last few years because I could work my own hours and be home when mom really needed me. Now, she REALLY needs me at home so I cut my gig work back to two days a week (my sister watches mom those 2 days, bless her!). Problem is that cutting out 4 days a week has seriously imperiled my finances. I pay all expenses, mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. Mom uses her monthly social security check for her personal needs, which is how I like it. I don't like the idea of her paying for anything. However, I have asked her if she would be willing to help out to the tune of about $150 a month and she said she couldn't afford it. Mom has substantial savings which we will use for funeral expenses when the time comes, and she will also be leaving a small inheritance to my sister and me. Her personal expenses come to about $350 a month and her SS check is $1400 a month. However, because I have now too much month at the end of the money, would it be unethical of me to use the $150 I need to get us through? Mom has mild dementia and does not fully understand the current situation. I value your opinions, I don't want to do anything wrong or unethical.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Prepay funeral expenses now. Start depositing her SS check in an account that earns interest if you aren’t doing that. Put enough into your joint checking account for her expenses and for you to take the $150 that would help you. Of course she can afford this! Especially if she’s earning interest that she hasn’t been earning before.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Get this in writing, It sounds like your sister is reasonable but you have to protect yourself. You never know who will come out of the woodwork when Mom passes

I think what you are asking is more than reasonable
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

she should be paying a share of the expenses. $150.00 doesn't seem like much.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You and your Mom should attend one hour of time with an elder law attorney to see if she can understand and put together an agreement with you there and have it set in stone so there won't be questions and issues in the future. Some of these questions could affect her ability to get medicaid if she should need it in some few years in the future. You should not be spending your own funds for your mother. You cannot afford to do that. So an agreement needs to be in place. The only other thing I can think of is guardianship if there is not already documents done by your Mom when she was fully cognizant appointing you as her POA. Do see an attorney. Your Mom's funds pay for this, and you will be able to judge how able your Mom is to understand, and how willing to help with her expenses.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I am mom's POA. The $150 would help with groceries and inflation. She and I have a joint bank account
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thanks everyone
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

COLA (for 2023) for SocSec should be about 150ish, also lower medicare

just tell her theyre putting extra money into the checks cause of expenses going up, just so it can be used for expenses like food.

after all, its not a lie.

i wish you the luck im having with my mom who is now writing things in a book as she realizes her days are slipping from her <3
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter