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My father is at end of life. He fell in the hospital and sustained a hip fracture. He had emergency surgery and survived that to only get pneumonia. He has managed to overcome double pneumonia all in 10 days. But in the last couple days his swallowing has become confused about how to initiate the process. They removed all food and over the weekend wouldn’t give him normal water only thickened. I asked for a intervenous and was denied, I was told my thinking wasn’t right that he had enough fluid from the pneumonia. Today I was told he isn’t eating or drinking to sustain life. They have given him water now but no food. How should end of life be approached? My dad is asking for food but doesn’t eat much. This is heart breaking. He is so weak and over come so much to go by starvation seems too much to bare.
What do food options look like for end of life with swallowing issues?
Any help appreciated. We don’t have much time

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So incredibly heartbroken over this situation!!

If your father is on hospice, then they are very limited with the kind of care they can provide unfortunately. Generally not trying to extend life, but do comfort measures.

Otherwise, if he's not on hospice then it's very concerning because even terminal cancer warriors will get feeding tubes fitted if needed. So you urgently deserve some thoughtful answers from his care team.
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I am so sorry for what your father and you are going through, Nikki. The end of life can be so difficult to witness as the body shuts down.

Keep him comfortable and a free of pain as much as possible, known as palliative care. Making eat or drink can cause him to inhale sustenance and make him cough. Additionally, making him eat or drink can cause pain as the body is not able to properly process them. Talk with hospice nurses about what is happening with him and how you can help him.

What you can do for him, and yourself, is to focus on keeping him mentally and emotional comfortable. With his hip fracture, work with medical staff for any, or no, physical movement.

Talk with him. Ask him to tell you his favorite stories. Let him talk as he chooses. Tell him how much you love him. Let him sleep. Play soft music or his favorites, trying to keep the room as peaceful as possible. Set photographs of loved ones around him.

Give yourself breaks. Step away and go outside and clear your mind. Take care of you. Talk with a counselor.

Your task ahead is hard and one many of us on this board have performed. You are performing a most difficult and sacred task, escorting him on his final journey.

*Hug*
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I'm so sorry. His care team should have spoken with you about what is going on and the best steps to take. It is also his choice how long he wants to go on or if he wants to end.

Blessings to both of you.
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People usually don't ask for food when they are nearing the end of life, the appetite and desire are absent, since your father IS asking I would ask for (insist on) ways to accommodate that as much as possible. Many people live for years on thickened fluids and pureed foods, it isn't rocket science to provide that level of diet and to help him eat as much or as little as he desires. Don't hesitate to bring him anything he asks for, someone I know asked for a shot of whiskey in his final days and although hospice staff had a conniption his daughter provided it and he thanked her for it.
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If and when a person is in their dying process, they will not need/want any food or drink, as their digestive system is shutting down and it can be quite painful for them to try to eat or drink.
If your father is still asking for food then I would make sure that whatever you give him is very soft and easy for him to swallow. Also thickened drinks are best now as well.
My husband during his 6 week dying process didn't eat for 41 days(and didn't ask to either) and didn't drink for about 25 days, so it is all part of the process of ones body shutting down and preparing to leave this world for the next.
I would certainly get hospice involved at this point if you haven't already, as they will better be able to walk you through exactly what is going on.
Try to enjoy whatever time you have left with him and make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid. God bless you.
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