I have a friend who lives in an assisted living facility. My friend has no living family to look after her. Just a power of attorney who has no history with my friend who is abusing his power as her agent. I want to help her. POA has stolen from her, drives her car, tried to illegally sell her house but couldn't, does not maintain her property and often gets fined by code enforcement. POA writes checks using her account and she never sees her statements. She is unaware of the fines she has paid, unaware of POA driving her car, unaware of POA trying to sell house, unaware of POA emptying her house and donating all of her belongings. POA restricts and supervises visits. POA instructs me to keep quiet about all of these things I have mentioned and if I tell my friend he will not allow me to visit.
I know that legally he can't do that but he is. The assisted living will only allow visits that POA approves. And POA or their staff supervise the visits. She was diagnosed with dementia but is very sharp. She is perfectly capable of having normal conversations and is very clear about what she wants and doesn't want. She is not incompetent and wishes she never would have signed over POA. She wants to revoke him. I am able to call her and when I do she asks me to come visit but they won't allow it unless POA is there. She asked me of I would be willing to be her POA. She and I both know that's a huge responsibility but after consideration I agreed to do it with an attorneys guidance. We told the assisted living what we planned to do and that we would be seeking counsel. We also told assisted living everything about her POA. All they said is that he pays her bill on time every month. My friend just wants help and nobody seems to care. Nobody wants to help because she is in memory care. She doesn't have family and her POA knows it. I've emailed the ombudsman but waiting to hear back. We've called the police to report theft about her POA clearing out her house( but he kept what he wanted of hers jewelry, purple heart, expensive China, etc.) The police said we have to go to the police department where the theft occurred which is the next city over. My friend asks me and the facility to take her so she can file charges on her POA but the assisted living won't take her & wont allow me to take her to the police. They won't allow me to take her to lunch or for a walk or even visit without her POA. It's like she is their prisoner and has no rights. He is taking advantage of a vulnerable woman who he knows has no family. I don't have $400 to file for emergency conservatory.
It seems to me that all it would take to start this is to revoke POA which she requested but assisted living won't allow anyone in there to assist with that. And she certainly can't do it because they treat her like a prisoner. They will hand her a cordless if someone calls. Other than that it's not accessible. It's hard to believe she is suffering from dementia because the times I am allowed (supervised) visits she is very coherent and articulate & consistent with her wishes. I've seen her in the morning, afternoon, evening. I am no more alert and aware than she is. It's very sad to see her in memory care because I look around at other residents and my heart breaks for them because they truly do appear to be unaware and out of it. Then I look at my friend, awake alert and as sweet as can be and I wonder why isnt she on a different floor with other residents with whom she can talk and do activities. Her POA also has medical & I wonder if he requested her to be in memory care. He feels he has more control & can take advantage even more so now that she is in memory care. She doesn't want to be there. She also said she isn't going to try and escape. She knows she can't drive anywhere. It's very apparent how disappointed she is in her POA. She doesn't even look at him when I visit. She expressed this to staff at Assisted Living & nobody is willing to help her.