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My mom has liver cancer and it is terminal, but first they need to get the extreme amount of fluid out of her stomach. I've been sitting here beside her for the last 12 hours as she begs for help from my father, sister and me for the pain. Meanwhile, the hospital isn't helping any because they say they don't want her confused! How do I deal with her begging for help I can't give?

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There should be a patient advocate in the hospital somewhere. Ask for them, and then go to their office. Explain the situation. They will step in. Just as they can help you if you cannot afford the hospital bill. They are there for the Patients and not for the hospital.
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They have finally taken her down to the operating room. But what I really need to know is how to handle my mom begging for help when I can't help her.
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iamblessed, is there any hope for recovery? If there isn't, you can talk to your mother about bringing in hospice. They will come to the hospital as soon as they can if your mother qualifies. They are not concerned about giving something to ease the pain. The only drawback is that only palliative care is allowed under hospice. Procedures to keep your mother comfortable would be allowed, but procedure aimed at prolonging life would not be.

My father was in much pain during his last week of life. I was running around looking at SNFs to discharge him to. Hospital workers were doing OT and PT. It was crazy, because everyone knew he was dying. WTH. Finally I said, "We want to bring in hospice" and everything changed. Hospice got there that afternoon, unfortunately a few minutes after my father died. If I had known on the first day what I figured out on the last, it would have been so much better for him.
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Thank you for your advice, I think between my father and I, we finally have talked the Dr. into a constant morphine drip. Now the problem is that my mom refuses to acknowledge that she is going to die and won't let go. Oh my, this is so hard trying to be strong for my father who was always my pillar of strength and is now falling apart. :-(
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Each person approaches death in their own way and many times all we can do is be there for them. We don't know when that time will be. Your mother and father have probably been married a long time now. It is hard for them to let go of each other. Do they have a spiritual leader, such as a pastor they know and trust, who can spend time with them together and maybe with you, too? It may help them come to a new peace to be reassured of what the future brings.
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They don't have strong enough religious beliefs for a spiritual leader to provide any relief unfortunately. I guess this is just one of those times when there's nothing that can be done but sit here and wait while she maintains her delusions that she's still coming home, while my father and I sit and wait.
Thank you all for your support and kind thoughts!!!
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This is truly a frightening story. I am so sorry to hear you went through this.
How could the hospital compound everyone's suffering by not providing adequate pain relief for your mother? Can anyone explain this too common situation?
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