I am so overwhelmed. My dad, 72, was admitted to the hospital after falling following him refusing to eat, drink, or get out of bed for 10 days. He and my mother live together, though operate fully separately as he has been incredibly emotionally abusive, an alcoholic, withholding of any form of home care or assistance to normal daily life for at least 30 years. He has been refusing to work on PT yet is nearly immobile (for no medical reason beyond him being 300+ pounds and refusing to do any form of physical activity for the past 10 years).
My mom is falling apart from the burden of medical care for someone who has cared so little about her and us kids for as long as I can remember, I am falling apart from trying to stay calm and rationally figure things out. My mother is in hysterics about this bankrupting her, about my dad blindly assuming we all will care from him after him treating us like garbage for forever, about how this will turn her or me into a 24/7 caregiver for a man who doesn’t even know how old his daughter (me) is and has openly told my mother he never even liked her. My mom is a tiny woman and physically cannot help him, even if she wanted to. He is so stubborn and mean and I don’t know how to navigate this at all. I of course want him to get care, but I need my mother who has already been through so much abuse from him to be okay. Any thoughts would help so, so much. I’m 32 and don’t know where to turn next or how to help her.