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Nothing big; small things like used paperback books. Maybe a couple dollars from her purse? Nothing she can prove. Plus, Mom's memory is notoriously bad, and it's entirely possible she just can't remember what the did with these things. She says she can no longer trust CG and wants to let her go. We have been here before, and each time Mom called me just before D-day and said "never mind, everything's okay, caregiver is wonderful." We are not there yet.


My concerns are that the care is paid for with VA funds (Aid & Attendance) and is with an agency. So, 1) if we let her go and can't replace her, the A&A funds will go away; 2) I think we need to be careful with confronting CG, as there is no proof and I don't think we can just accuse and let her go. Does anyone know the rules on this? I'm thinking the agency would expect us to tell them the CG is not a good fit and we need them to send someone else. But, the agency didn't find her in the first place, as Mom lives in a remote area and the agency/we would have had to pay 2 hours of travel time each day. So we recruited someone local, and Mom is her only client. When Mom is not suspecting her of stealing or lying, she is singing her praises.


Sorry for the long-winded post. All I need to know at this point is, when you suspect a household employee of stealing, how must you conduct yourself to avoid overstepping any legal constraints? Thank you, experts.

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You state that your moms memory is very poor.
You do not indicate if she has been diagnosed with any type of dementia.
The thought/fear that someone is stealing from you is a common one with dementia for the simple fact that they do not know what happened to the missing item so the assumption is that it was stolen.
There is not much that you can do about the thought/fear other than try to work around it using diversion, therapeutic fibs.
You can tell mom that you can’t fire one caregiver without having another in place first so the one will have to stay until a replacement can be found, vetted and trained. By the time all that would be done mom will be “ok” with keeping the caregiver she has now.
Hopefully the caregiver is understanding and can work with this type of scenario.
I do think your mom should be tested for dementia.
It might be wise to put in cameras so that you can monitor mom when the caregiver is not there. IF you are dealing with dementia mom should not be left alone.
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IMPinky Sep 2021
Thank you, Grandma1954. We are very aware that her memory has been failing and she is actually scheduled for a neurology assessment. Her last primary care physician had put a dementia diagnosis in her chart, but none of us are aware that she was ever tested. This actually caused a problem recently when Mom went in for a procedure with a specialist who didn't know her and he refused to allow her to sign the consent. I had to reach her daughter (my SIL) to give phone consent before the doc would proceed. When we questioned the current PCP about it, she ordered the assessment. It would have been done by now, but Mom got a UTI and we rescheduled.

I like your answer about having to put another CG in place before firing the current one. That will probably work. In so many ways, Mom is still very sharp and functional. But she is having more and more trouble remembering events, conversations and things in the house that she moves or changes. Between CG, SIL and myself we cover nearly every day through mealtimes, meds and appointments, more if she is ill. But the funds are not there for more paid hours, and family is about at our limit of time we can put in without sacrificing others who need us, or our own health. I feel like Mom will soon be needing placement but again, the funding just doesn't exist, even with the VA benefit. Meanwhile, I'm trying to extend the hours we get from VA by looking at direct hire with all the legal requirements met.
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Dementia leads to illusions, but carers do sometimes steal. My suggestion is to leave a few coins in a couple of places and see if any disappear. Don’t tell mother – she might pick them up herself. If a few go, then yes there is a problem, and it might get worse. My sister had 24/7 carers for my late BIL, and one of them (and she seemed the nicest one) stole around a thousand dollars from her bag.
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IMPinky Sep 2021
Eesh! a thousand dollars! That's a lot of cash to keep around! Obviously a bad idea when people are coming into your home. You know, Mom used to be head waitress at a popular restaurant, and occasionally would suspect that a busboy was stealing tips. So she would set them up, as you suggest, and would invariable catch them at it! She had thought to try this with CG, but just hasn't had the energy to deal with it...
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If you plan on firing a anyone for theft, you better have undeniable proof. If not, just state that the situations isn't working.

We live in a litigious world and accusations of wrong doing can end in lawsuits if you are dealing with an entitled, irresponsible jerk. Tread lightly when dismissing someone.

If you have an accountant or know someone that does, ask them about doing the payroll or you can use a payroll company that is set up to be the "employer" meaning they file the payroll under their company tax numbers and have workman comp insurance, etc.

I don't know about all industries but my workmans comp annual minimum was 1,500.00. So it may be well worth what they charge, or I also had to pay a 200.00 bond for unemployment insurance. Speak to your insurance broker for guidance on workman comp, your state will help you with unemployment and other state requirements and the IRS can help you with SS/Medicare, FUTA, and Fed Withholding.
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IMPinky Sep 2021
Thank you, ITRR. That was my immediate concern, that Mom would make the accusation without proof and open herself up to a lawsuit. Thank goodness she came to her senses overnight and called to apologize this morning for going off half cocked. Her comment was that she hasn't been herself since this last UTI. Well, that's partly true, but I believe it's part of an overall downhill slide. But if she at least admits that her thoughts/attitude were wrong, to me that's a step in the right direction.

I looked up some general info about Workers Comp in California, and it said about $800-$900 a year for household employees. I think now I can get an actual quote since I have CG's DMV report. And the most economical payroll service quoted $45 a month to help get an employer ID, handle payroll including withholding, FICA, SDI etc and file quarterly taxes, end of year filings, basically everything but Workers Comp.
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Have you looked into the possibility of Medicaid for mom? It might take a while so looking into the application process now might be a good idea.
Not all facilities have "Medicaid Beds" and she might be on a waiting list.
There are lots of others that post that know soooo much more about Medicaid than I do hopefully they will respond and give some insight.
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Grandma1954 (hey that's my birth year!), yes I have been trying to anticipate what will happen a bit further down the road, so was investigating different types of facilities. Thinking that maybe she could do private pay for awhile and then get medicaid. Hopefully transitioning from AL or a small Board & Care into Memory Care. But her income is less than half what the cost would be, and her savings would allow for at most two months of private pay. And unless she receives the Dementia diagnosis when tested, she holds the purse strings very tightly, and will not consent to leaving her lovely home. Can't say I blame her, honestly, this place is like Heaven, on a mountain hillside with a view forever and wild birds frequenting the deck off her living room. The assessment is still six weeks away, enough time for a couple more UTI's and momentary lapses of reason!
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IMpinky, have you researched labor leasing companies?

Sometimes it is different language to find the right type of services.

But, 45.00 monthly isn't bad for what they are doing. With WC you are looking at 120.00 monthly, how does that break down in savings and additional care hours?

Hopefully, it gives you lots of extra hours by getting rid of the agencies cut.

Good luck!
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My mother was always hiding money and her "valuables" in her AL room and then accusing anyone of stealing them. I would toss her room and usually find whatever was lost hidden in a sock or the back of a drawer. I would always talk to the director and let her know what was going on just in case mon had said something. They were used to this kind of thing.

I would discuss this with the caregiver so she knows what is happening and stress to Him/Her that they are not a suspect, it's the dementia talking. You need to develop a strategy to distract your Mom when she gets on this path. Hopefully she will forget what she has lost or misplaced.
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Unfortunately a combination of short term memory problems with an added pinch of fear can result in these 'stealing situations'.

I'm not saying CGs don't ever steal (oh they do!).

A good CG experienced with dementia would know about this behaviour, but not everyone has that life or job experience & may take real offence & quit.

From what you write, it seems a worthwhile plan to keep Mom in her lovley surrounds as long as possible.

Sometimes I think folk picture the *not possible* bit as just end stage. Or the big things like fire risk & constant falls. I used to.

Now I hear more & more that *not possible* is strongly influenced by behaviour. That Fear makes miles of difference between a placid person content with their CG at home - or a person becoming fearful, wandering out the door in search of their 'home' or not trusting the CG to let them in.

I suppose the dilemma is weighing things up. Keep reviewing as you doing right now. What if the CG leaves? Can you get another (in this remote area)? Is it worth keeping this CG at all costs (even if the books etc ARE being stolen) to keep Mom at home longer?

Often there are no right & wrong answers. Trust your gut is all I can offer.
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Thank you so much to everyone who weighed in, I really appreciate the insight and suggestions, and food for thought. I just googled labor leasing companies and read briefly. I will look at it some more and compare to what I could do with a payroll service and WC on our own. Our CG is not experienced, as this is her first gig. But she's pretty easygoing, and I realize now I probably do need to clue her in about what goes on in Mom's head. Thus far she has not been confronted, but I suppose that could change at any time, and I would hate for her to be blindsided. As for distracting Mom when she has these thoughts, I'll have to really think on that and get ideas from the rest of the family. My natural tendency is to hear her out, sympathize, but let her know what we can and cannot do. And also important, what I myself can/can't or will/won't do. I've learned that I can't just keep extending my capabilities, and am getting better at communicating that.

Again, thank you all so much. This is a great community.
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Place some nanny cameras in the home to "watch" mom's care. Also have mom agree with you to secure her valuables - preferably with you. Then you can decide for yourself if there is a problem with a caregiver or if it is mom's memory. If it is her memory, you may need to "remind" mom that she agreed to let you "watch" _____ for her. If there is indeed a problem with the caregiver, I like this approach:

1 - Confront the caregiver in a firm but kindly manner. Let the person know what you witnessed and that theft is a serious problem. Decide for yourself if you want to give this person another chance.

2 - Let the agency know that you suspect this person of theft and want them replaced. Share any evidence with the agency.

3 - If there are several instances of problems with one agency, report the agency and go with another one.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2021
Report to the agency if they suspect the caregiver? In other words get her in trouble with her job before there's any proof of wrongdoing.
As an in-home caregiver myself, my policy was always to drop a client from my service when the care situation started getting ridiculous. I'd tell the agency supervisor that I was quitting that client and to find me another position. This is also my policy in private care.
Once the stealing accusations or other nonsense of that order start up, I go. I will not have a mark on my spotless employment record and not be able to get a job because some elder with dementia is good enough at showtiming that they can to put one over on an agency supervisor or a family member.
This is something I've always made clear early on to any family that I've worked for. If they dismiss me or I have to go, I will not return for any reason. I've had so many families over the years who ended up finding grandma's ring or remembering that she gave it to her grand daughter. Or who look at a bank statement and realize dad is incompetent and can't handle money anymore. Then they want me back because the help they replaced me with isn't doing as well. They will make very attractive offers too. Then some even try guilting and claiming how much their loved one misses me. Too bad. I will not return.
Good help is hard to find. People should remember this before the get theirs in trouble on a suspicion because some elderly person with dementia misplaced something.
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You made me laugh reading your post, no disrespect intended as I am dealing with the same challenge with my dad and he keeps threatening to call the sherif, he is accusing his caregivers of stealing his papers. We have found his missing papers in the fridge, in his closet, in the medicine cabinet, and the list goes on. I am not saying is true or not true in your case but know that if her memory is failing chances are things are just getting misplaced or given away or thrown away.

Some posts here are suggesting to “test” the integrity of the caregiver and I would strongly dissuade you from it, by asking you…. Could it be possible that the items have been misplaced, or given away? Please do not jump into conclusions, which could impact many and cause someone to lose their job.

suspicions and accusations are easily placed and it grows and it fasters, please be careful into buying into it. Talk to the caregiver, not making accusations but talk to her, you might be surprised in what you find.

Best wishes
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2021
SusanHeart,

When it's at the point where the dementia client is threatening the caregivers with the police and other action, this when it's time to call it a day with in-home care. When this behavior starts up, it's time for a memory care facility.
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I would not dismiss the accusations out of hand. I had a caregiver that everyone loved...but me. Because I was with her most of the time, I was not won over. But, I began to put up with her because it was getting very difficult to hire for my mom due to her many skilled nursing needs...which this care provider could and did do well. The care of my totally dependent mom was never an issue. But, I would come home to strangers in my home, she would be hours late without calling, she sometimes would not show for days claiming car trouble. Between work and my mom’s care I was doing 90 hours a week. I counted on my sister giving me a break 3 times a week in addition to the caregiver watching my mom while I worked PT.

The caregiver began to steal small things like a coffee mug, petty cash in small amounts. I would see that she was washing her filthy dog blankets in my machine as she never did learn to clean out the lint trap. I had front door locks put on all bedroom doors. She found the hidden key and stole about $800. I told my sister and she didn’t believe me. She actually accused other family members. I doubted myself and my own eyes then. So I didn’t move other money I had to a safer location. I was so dependent on this woman also. She ended up stealing another $400 the next day. My sister was still supportive of keeping her, and I felt so vulnerable then. Recently, more than a year later, my housemate discovered that this caregiver also stole items of jewelry from her ... she just had not been aware of this because never wore them in all this time and it never occurred to her that the CG had also found a way into her room, as well. (the same key fit both locks). I share all of this to say that it is a terrible thing not to be believed and your concerns ignored because of dependence on another’s care. I very nearly took my life in the end, between having no life, being utterly exhausted, and having no family that stood up for my needs, in addition to my mother’s. Best to put in cameras and to do small tests, in my opinion...especially if your mother has never exhibited this “paranoia” before.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2021
jenlwren,

Really? If you were indeed living with your mother and caring for her as much as you say AND you had a roommate there as well, I find it hard to believe that the caregiver wouldn't have been dismissed by you long ago if she wasn't working out. I've worked for families who have replaced me and my crew on a case. Not because the care was poor, but because they found cheaper. When a family gets rid of a caregiver or caregivers, they don't tell them. They find the replacement and then fire them. Honestly, with all respect to you, your story is a little hard to buy.
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Do not confront your caregiver or you may lose her.I have been caregiver to my mother in law for 7 years.She praised me and accused me in one sentence many times....it always hurts me so much because I give all my free time to her.Just remember that your mom is no longer the mom that raised you she cannot do the things she was once able to do.This causes suspicion and jealousy for the one doing everything for her.Saturday we spent 400 dollars in groceries for her and pop and by Thursday she claims there is nothing in the house to eat. Also called us in hysterics about a bill from the dermatologist that needed to be paid when we got there she said that she don't remember calling us or where she put the bill.Started crying saying why can't she just send a check? We have been paying her bills for more than two years now because she was overpaying or forgetting to pay them.My advice to you is be careful what you say to the help she may be accusing you next.
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If the stealing is a couple books or couple dollars that's one thing and your mom could have given them to her and forgot.Keep your eyes wide open for now in case there is a real problem.
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I would secure any items of value, money, jewelry and keep them with you. Have a set amount of money in Mom's purse, $10, 2 $5's, 5 ones. Keep tabs on it, in case.
Share with caregiver that Mom accuses others of taking her things, when she can't find them. Do this casually, so that she's alerted, but not accused.
More than likely, it's Mom's memory and not a stealing issue.
Because of where you live, it's fortunate that you have someone.
Hopefully, this will continue. If not it's a good idea to be pepared and look at other options.
Last, would it be possible to give the caregiver extra money maybe twice a month to take her and Mom out for lunch or dinner? It would show appreciation for her commitment.
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Install a hidden camera so you have proof.You need to help weed out thiefs from the caregiver ranks that are dishonest.
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Good advice below.

The best answer: don't leave anything around that is valuable that she can take.
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If you're not sure Don't accuse her!

Your MIL lives in a remote area and you might not find a replacement.

My 97 yr old Dad with Dementia will start accusing Caregivers of stealing money, but only when he has a UTI.

In his case, he has no money at the house so I just tell him I put it in the Bank.

You could install a few cameras in the home where you would be able to chk on mil any time 24 7 from your computer or cell phone.

Iuse Nest which wasn't hard to install.

You can explain everything to MIL that you haven't found a replacement yet and just keep saying that.
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It's a best practice when you have "strangers" coming into your home, to lock up valuables and financial papers. Get a file cabinet with a lock for the financial papers. You could put a lock on the door of a closet as a place for your mother to store her purse. It's common for seniors whose memory is declining to accuse others of stealing. It may be that they just can't remember where things are or how much money they have in their purse or wallet. There are legal reasons why you should be very careful about accusing an employee of theft. At some point, if your mother becomes irresponsible with money, you could suggest that you take over her financial matters. Sometimes it is a relief for the senior to have this done by someone else. Even before that happens, be sure all of her paperwork is in place: power of attorney for medical and financial matters, living will with her medical directives, a will if she has assets, many financial institutions have their own POA forms, and the POA should be on file with Medicare and Social Security to be able to speak on her behalf. Ask for a credit card on her account with your name on it so that you can make purchases for her. If she has assets, you may need an attorney to help with the POA documents and will.
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Approach her as a 'colleague' trying to get her assessment of your mom's memory.

"Miss D. I am so worried about my mother and hope you can help. She seems more forgetful. She seems to be misplacing things, like some books and money (or other items she says are missing). Have you noticed a worsening change in her? I have to think about taking her to the doctor to be evaluated. I hope you can reassure me".

This will make her feel like you value her while in effect giving notice that you are aware of things missing without accusing her.

In home health if a patient accused one of us of stealing it could be a faulty memory of an item misplaced or sadly it could be theft. We would then say we would call the police to take a report. If they just didn't like us and nothing was taken, they would back pedal quickly. Sadly, I discovered that a colleague was stealing my patient's (her aunt!!) narcotics. Ironically, the patient didn't need them.

As I left to go visit one of my daily patients, a colleague warned me that she was accusing me of having stolen her rosary beads. She was such a crabby woman her daughter would only take her meals upstairs to her apartment. I got there and said, "I understand you 'lost' your rosary beads'. The look on her face was priceless. I offered to look for them. "maybe they fell into the cushions". After a few minutes of this, I turned to her and said, "Well, at least you know I didn't steal them. I'm Protestant and don't even know what you do with them". If she had accused me in person, I would have called the police in front of her to come take a report. No, she was not demented at all.

I hope this suggestion helps and preserves the relationship.
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DrLokvig Sep 2021
Of course, there are caregivers that help themselves to money and valuables, but they are rare and far in between. Please start with the assumption that your mom simply cannot remember where she stashed the items. This is a common phenomenon with people living with dementia, so please don't act hastily.
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My clients with dementia have found the most interesting hiding places for their things: in the freezer, under the bed, in the shoes, coat pockets - this can be a problem when their things are sandwiches.
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Sounds as if your mom really likes this caregiver, except when things are misplaced. Good caregivers are hard to find, so hold on to her. Don't argue with your mom or try to convince her otherwise; instead have a sitdown with the caregiver and your mom to plan how to prevent things from getting "misplaced." This should reassure your mom and alert the caregiver just in case there's a bit of truth to the accusations.

i do suggest that all her precious items are kept in a secure place, i.e. if she likes to wear her fine jewelry, keep it in a bank vault and purchase inexpensive lookalike costume pieces instead.

PS - It's very common that persons with dementia accuse others of stealing from them when they've misplaced items.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2021
I hardly think people concerned with used paperback books getting stolen or the odd dollar bill supposedly missing have to worry about securing fine jewelry in a bank vault. Or getting replica pieces made in cheap materials done up.
Always lock valuable things up. If someone is so far gone with dementia that they'll take off an expensive piece of jewelry and give it away or misplace it somewhere, they shouldn't have access to these expensive things without supervision.
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that's not unusual for people with beginning of Alzheimer's to accuse people of stealing; chances are it's not true. What you can do is install cameras in your home which is entirely legal and just notify the caregiver they are being video recorded. It is a good idea to have cameras all over the house since you do have someone with dementia living there just for their safety like if they fall you can call for help. Believe me those cameras are God sent.

Please do not get someone fired over a groundless accusations unless there is proof. That is very malicious. If that is the case do not use paid caregivers.
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* You can ask VA / agency to send another person. You can say you suspect and not acuse. (I know VA caregiver care - I use same for my friend).

There are ways to talk about a person without accusing.

IMPORTANT: You cannot accuse 'anyway' (well you could although you don't want to) without proof and you do not want to set up this negative, 'accusatory' discussion / implication of behavior anyway. You can state it from your 'mom's point of view' and we / you do not know if your mom is clear headed or confused.

* People with dementia believe people, even family, are stealing. Check into Teepa Snow's webinars or call her / office and ask about this behavior with people with dementia and they could guide you to specific webinars to watch (and/or provide you input - they are very helpful.)

* I don't know / see if your mom lives alone - I presume so.

* Set up a camera (don't tell your mother - if possible).

* You WANT your mom to feel safe.

* If it is dementia to a degree that she may feel this way with 'anyone,' you will have to figure out how to talk to your mom to feel secure with the caregiver (if possible) - It is also the responsibility of the caregiver agency to talk to your mother, and comfort her. Talk the their manager.

* I'd put out a two $5 bills somewhere as a test and see what happens - to one or both. Again, you may need a camera planted somewhere. This camera is ALSO security for you to watch your mom move around - not 'just' to see what the caregiver is doing although that is critically important, too. However, if you are not there and you relay on your 'mom's' recollection, this may not work, either.

* As a last resort, you may need to move your mom to a less isolated area.

- Yes, caregivers steal. (My friend lost a bullet - blender, brand new in the box. When I looked in the box, it was gone.. By then, so was the caregiver by a few weeks. I am suspecting 'her' out of a few others. We often do not know.

THE KEY IS INTERVIEWING as best as you can before you hire.
Ask questions with specific scenarios and see how they answer.

Gena / Touch Matters
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I would install a few cameras in the house. Easy to do and you can monitor her care, etc. Smart thing to do
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Sarah3 Sep 2021
For a couple paperback books that a dementia patient who often forgets where she placed things???
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FYI. When they get a certain age, with or without dementia, whomever is in their house, they will be accused of stealing. I know from experience. The entire 8 years I have been CG’r for my mother, “someone has taken her things”. Mostly I get the blame because I am here 24/7/365. She puts things “in a safe place”. Then whenever she thinks about an item, or money, We “I” get to go on a scavenger hunt. At least 1 or 2 times a week. Seems that is all I ever do.
If you think it might be possible someone is stealing from her, set up a camera, set out bait. But don’t be surprised if it is just her mind playing tricks on you.
Good Luck!
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IMpinky, if your moms caregiver is new to the industry, I would recommend to her to watch Teepa Snow on YouTube.

This will educate her on what she is seeing, what to expect and how to deal with it. Beneficial for all of you.

This would help her understand that paranoia is absolutely normal and not personal in the event that your mom says something to her.

You are doing a tremendous job dealing with your mom. She is able to freely share with you and that is something that you want to last as long as possible. Keep hearing her and giving her a safe place to share. Please don't try to correct her perception, as long as she is coming around it isn't really a problem. You know that it is the disease and you obviously known your mom and how to reach her, well done! My point is, don't stress about this glitch in mom's reality, cross bridges as you come to them and you will feel so much better.
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IMPinky: Imho, before any accusations are made to the caregiver, perhaps the so called stolen items will be found in the home.
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As items are small and not valuable it is difficult to see how you would be able to monitor everything. Valuables can be taken for safe keeping but you cannot take every day things. If necessary you can fit security camera to mother's living and bedrooms so you can drop in and see what is going on at random times, but as most elderly people do develop a less efficient memory I would expect that this is mum forgetting rather than CG taking items of little to no value especially if they reappear. My mother goes through patches of this where someone has stolen her bracelet (found under her pillow), her money (in its envelope in her brief case), her clothes - when she can remember what she actually has and hasn't asked the laundry. It is elderly loss of memory and recent recall in most cases and far less likely CG has anything to do with it apart from possibly moving it. If valuables start to be involved you may have a different matter to deal with.
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From what you're saying, it doesn't sound like the caregiver is stealing from your mother. What is does sound like is your mother has dementia, and is good enough at "showtiming" that no one notices.
Used paperback books? A couple of singles or small change here and there? She isn't taking anything. Your mother most likely told her she could borrow one of the used books. Or gave the caregiver a few dollars to go to the store for her or something. The caregiver can't also be expected to pay for things the client needs or wants. Believe me when I say many times the caregiver is expected to because we're supposed to love our low-wage, laborious job and your elderly "loved ones" just so much.
I've been in elderly homecare for almost 25 years. Many of those years as agency help until I wised up and went private cases only. I can't tell you how many times I've been accused of stealing by some senior with dementia, or by some senior who just wants something to complain and fight about.
I remember at the AL I worked in one senior lady on my service. She always had these butterscotch candies with her because she loved them. Now, she'd pass these candies out to anyone who came near her. She wouldn't let me walk past without pushing a butterscotch candy on me.
Then the accusations that everyone is stealing her candy would start. I'm stole her candy. The other residents stole her candy. The landscaping guys outside mowing the lawn stole her candy. The president stole her candy. Evidently, George W. Bush (the then president) went in her room at the AL and stole her candy.
I'm going to give you some good advice here. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face here by calling the caregiver out on the stealing when you have no proof. Don't have her fired when there's no one to replace her. Your mom forgets where she puts things then the nearest person to her stole it. Then she finds what she's looking for and the caregiver is great.
Always make sure anything valuable is locked up. Don't let your mother have large amounts of cash around, or checkbooks, or credit and debit cards. If the caregiver also has to do you mom's shopping, you give her a certain amount of cash and insist on receipts every week. Or get a debit or credit card with a limit on it for household shopping or if your mom wants something. Have the caregiver use this for the shopping then produce receipts every week. This can also be used if she takes your mom out to eat somewhere too. Once again, show a receipt.
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Ricky6 Sep 2021
Your story reminded me of my mother. When her dementia started to increase, someone was always stealing her credit card in her apartment. She would hide her credit card in a dresser drawer and it was stuffed with lots of clothes and other things. I had to dump her dresser drawer out on the bed and go through it, to find the card. Later I hid it in a special place in her kitchen that was much easier for her and myself to find. I also had access to her account online to check the spending.
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