Help me to decide what to do, my heart is broken.

Cory, 80% of elderly patients become disoriented and have some type of delirium when in the hospital for whatever reason [20% of young patients have the same thing after surgery]. It's all because you wake up not knowing where you are at first, the sounds in the hall are different compared to home, you see faces you don't recognize, you are given drugs that may or may not have side effects, the food is different, and you are attached to IV so you can't get out of bed easily, you're awaken at 5 a.m. for a blood test, etc.

When my Dad was in the hospital after a fall, the next day he thought he was in a hotel and he wanted me to take him downstairs to the front desk so he could pay the hotel bill. After a couple days back home he was ok.

The elderly get very disoriented in the hospital. Being around familiar people will help keep her oriented. They also often refuse to eat--sort of like a hunger strike, if you will. They just want to go home. That's all I ever heard out of my poor father. A discharge planner should be meeting with you to discuss the after-care plan, whether discharge to a subacute facility or discharge to a family member's care. Usually the hospitals can't hold on to the patients too long because of the insurance rules, but the rules can also work in your favor, because the patient has to be an in patient for a certain number of days before Medicare can do different things. But also bear in mind, once discharged, that the patient has to stay OUT of the hospital for a certain number of days. At least, that's how it used to be. Haven't stayed up on these things since my Dad passed a few years ago. But please do ask to speak to the patient advocate, social worker, or discharge planner--whoever the appropriate person is at that facility. Good luck!

I can tell you from personal experience that there are many reasons why the elderly refuse to eat. One of my main problems was the diet. i was on a cardiac diet. This seemed to include no salt or other flavoring except pepper. No sugar so all the soda was diet. i won't even mention the tea and coffee. The kitchen had to follow the rules so I did not blame the servers for "cream" of wheat served with nothing and made with water. I actually threatened to throw it into the hall if they brought that again. Sandwiches were always offered as an alternative. my idea of sandwich is not two slices of dry bread with slices of deli meat. luckily the nurses helped me with the contraband. They would make me hot chocolate with 2 real half and halves and three sugars. Hubby bought in a minute fridge and stocked it with yogurt that had sugar and flavor and and canned fruit in heavy syrup.and full cream milk instead of the fat free white colored water served to everyone.
Well that was just me but i can get pretty demanding . Anyone when they are sick elderly, demented or not can get very confused from lack of sleep. because i needed a pill at 3am why drag me out of bed to weigh me.??????? and two hours later here comes the blood draw, then "Would you like to get in your chair ready for breakfast (It will be here in about two hours) I was pretty frayed at the edges after months of this. One hospital insisted I go to rehab and not home. Guess where I went? I did not want to spend three weeks sharing a room with a demented old lady. One night of that was more than enough on a regular floor in the hospital. She kept coming over and tucking me in and telling me how all the Drs were her brothers. Overtime i got the thermostat turned down to 70 she would walk back into the room and flip it back up to 80 as she walked past. I could not figure out how she had escaped an alarm mat on her bed and chair. It did come in handy when some one took too long answering a bell. I would just stand up and immediately the alarm brought at least three nurses. Guess this was off subject but I wanted to explain some of the problems older patients experience

What do her doctors say is her diagnosis and what do they project is the course that her illness will take? Has the UTI cleared up? Are her doctors recommending that Hospice might be appropriate?

Do you have recent pictures or even videos of here before this happened? Something to make it vividly clear to medical people that she was NOT debilitated before this illness, so they investigate properly! I can't help wondering if calling in hospice is premature, in light of a specific, acute, treatable illness and previously functioning well.

Hypercalcemia alone can make people very weak, achy, sleepy, depressed - and it is important to know why someone has it. Antidepressants do NOT help hypercalcemia one iota. There is another specific entity called prolonged neuromuscular blockade with marked proximal (hips and shoulders) weakness plus swallowing trouble usually related to meds given in an ICU setting, and it will get better but takes time. Just gastritis or reflux can make someone not want to eat, and not everyone will verbalize that it hurts to swallow.

Don't just be mad and broken-hearted, get to the bottom of it. Maybe try different doctors - is there an academic medical center with a comprehensive geriatric evaluation center you could use? They could review the records and if there is really nothing else to be done might at least be able to expalin why, but I have a feeling they will find something that needs attention.

When you say "high calcium" do you mean that her electrolytes are imbalanced? This can take a while to correct and will make the patient feel very weak. Perhaps grandma can go to rehab after the hospital so that she can get stronger.

1teach... my dad went in for the same thing uti,pnemonia....they sent him home after 7 days....he would not eat, or drink.... He also did not use the bathroom for 7 days and then sent him home with laxatives, when we complained....

The point is that they were giving my dad Seroquel, to help him sleep.... IT DID NOT.... they sent him home with it, and I started with holding it from him, because he was hallucinating, aggravated etc...... After, 2 days and 1 night without that horrible drug....his mind was normal, welllllll back to our normal ;) If she is on that, throw it away!!!!!!

Agree with Vsteffans. Start with a second opinion.

I would think that they will want to send her to rehab as Babalou said... Ask to speak with a social worker..

The doctor is not willing to say that yet, the only wrong now is she is weak and not eating