Where can I go to get help getting my Mom returned back home from a brother who took her from California to New Mexico?

Your post raises quite a number of questions.

How did it come about that your brother removed your mother to New Mexico? Where was she living? Where were you when this happened?

If you are isolated from her mother, how are you obtaining information about her state of health?

If this is such a clear-cut case of abduction of a vulnerable elderly person by a methadone user, how did the police and APS explain their inability to act?

You say there is a great deal more to this story. Indeed. Could you explain a little more, please?

Have you called APS in both areas where your mom was and where your brother is located and requested a wellness check? If the wellness check turns up neglect or abuse they will remove your mom. As a POA were you on your moms accounts acting as POA prior to her departure? Most banks require a new POA if it is less than 90 days old. Is your Mom seeing a doctor? She has to be on medication that she would need to get from a doctor, if you are medical POA contact her doctor and make them aware of the issue. A doctor could help to document her decline. I would push it from a medial neglect approach more than financial. If she is truly in physical medical danger the authorities will likely step in. If the appears competent to made decisions, reasonably healthy and says she us happy it will be harder to use the legal system alone. If you have a medical reason for your concerns with a medical professional making the. calls to the police or ADP you will get further. My experience is using medical and legal system together usually will help to get a professional guardian involved paid for by the state if your mom is not able to make her own choices and there is medical neglect.

I would contact the police and have someone make a mental and physical check on your mother. I have sympathy for your mother if her son is a drug user and after what few financial assets she has. It shows that if you raise less than stellar children you never get any relief. Very sad.

Adult Protective Services is a mandatory contact. Furthermore, if you have/had a durable POA, have you considered the possibility that your mother gave your brother a new one? If so, until a court declares your mother incompetent, she CAN DO THAT! A POA is not as strong as a conservatorship/guardianship. THAT cannot be revoked without a court order. Sorry you are losing this round...but an independent set of eyes, APS, can step in to protect your mother if she is being manipulated and exploited financially and medically neglected. If you want to request custody of her, and that is deemed appropriate, make sure you have your ducks in a row.

Sorry this is happening to you. A very similar thing happened to me. Have a well check and if there is a care giver coming to the house try to make contact. My brother had POA and moved my mother from her home to his town in another state. He controlled her money. Through the caregiver I found out she was very unhappy there and wanted to go back to her home state but because of her dementia couldn't figure out how. I went to visit her and in private an agent from Adult Protective Services empowered her and asked her what she wanted and where she wanted to live. He told her she could go on a "vacation" with me if she wanted to. Then my mom said "if I leave I will never come back". So when we were alone I took her back to our home and there was nothing my brother could do about it. She was free to go where ever she liked. That was four years ago. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best.

Your bother took your mother to New Mexico,,is a drug user, took over her bank account and put his wife's name on it, your mother is losing weight and going blind in one eye and the authorities won't help you?

She's been gone six months. If you're not allowed contact how do you know all this?

If you have POA an original copy should be/have been deposited with her bank so no-one else can touch anything.

With all due respect I smell a troll.

Call protective services or senior abuse hotline say you are afraid for your mother that she was taken from her home against her will and has dementia. It doesn't matter if she was not diagnosed, just say it.

Your POA does mean something, how was your brother able to take her out of state? How do you know that his wife's name is on your mother's bank account? some people feel self-entitled.

Is your mothers legal address/home in your state? Petition the court with your POA on behalf of your mother and ask the court if you could be appointed the person to take care of her, she could have enough dementia, that everyday she thinks, she is on her second day there and may not be realizing, that her money is being spent,she is not returning home... or for that matter even in a good place!!!!

A durable POA can be put in place to care for competent people who can not act on their own behalf because of medical concerns or disabilities. A person does not have to deemed in competent to excercise a POA. A POA is hard to get approved through financial systems when it is more than 3 months old. The best advise is to distibute POA to major financial institutions as soon as they are completed.

Twiggie, I would like to start over. First, I believe your story. I have been embroiled in a very similar situation for two years, have spent thousands of dollars on elder attorneys, and have read hundreds of similar accounts online. Unfortunately elder abuse is very common because nothing is clear cut.

1) It is highly probable that your mom already signed a new POA with your brother, which technically makes yours invalid. It is very easy to print the form, have the confused person sign and obtain notarized signatures. Done...new POA. Each of my siblings has a different POA naming him/her self as POA. Institutions don't know there are six POA's floating around, or which is the most recent. Which is the real one???? Not sure it matters because it could change again tomorrow. According to my Elder Attorney, there is no clear cut answer and it would be up to a judge to decide should someone pursue the matter in court.

2) POA does not take effect until the person is declared incompetent. Only a judge can deem a person incompetent, and it must be proven in court by medical professionals. My parents both have severe dementia and don't know which way is up. They have never been deemed legally incompetent and are still able to "make their own decisions," although their "decisions" are based solely on which child is influencing them at that particular moment.

3) Any adult who is 25, 55 or 105 who has not been deemed legally incompetent by a judge in a court of law can "do as they please" without anyone else's permission. It doesn't matter if the person has gray hair or can't remember their own name. If your mom willingly left town with your brother it is not considered an abduction, and if she added him or his wife to her bank account that is not a crime either and there is no crime for police to solve.

I have asked my attorney dozens of questions about who is the real POA, Couldn't it be easily proven that my parents were not of sound mind when they made certain decisions. etc. The answer is always the same: "It would be up to the judge."

That is how bad people take advantage of confused old people. Your best bet is to contact Adult Protective Services for advise. If they can get you in a room alone with your mom, and she says she wants to go home with you, your brother will have to comply. If they find she is being neglected or abused they can take action. If not, you need to hire an attorney to pursue legal guardianship and a judge will decide. If your brother has no money and has a criminal record he probably will not contest and you will not have to go through an expensive court battle. It would be worth an attorney just to file and see what happens.

Ashlynne...unfortunately there are a lot of trolls and this goes on every day. It's incredibly sad. However there is nothing for the authorities to do. POA has no power until mom has been declared legally incompetent...which requires a doctor and a judge....and is difficult to prove. The police can't go in and take mom away because they know the guy is a jerk and this all seems wrong. Unfortunately the system makes it tough to protect an elderly person without hiring an attorney and battling it out in court. It is no different than a child custody battle. (You cant just accuse your ex of abuse and expect the authorities to go snatch up the kids.) If there is obvious neglect APS may intervene temporarily. It is more difficult to prove abuse/neglect with adults who can "choose" to do what they want...even if they are confused. It all has to be proven in court, which can be lengthy and costly...just like divorce.