On August 12, 2017 my Grandfather passed away. Up to his death, was a culmination of efforts to isolate and influence his estate, knowing my Grandmother would agree with his requests. What happened was appalling: My Aunt and her husband both of a history of substance abuse, I won’t get into the details but their narcotics are refilled by numerous physicians, gone through at record pace, crushed up for faster absorption, and copious amounts of marijuana are consumed at regular intervals daily. My aunt’s husband stole from my Grandfather’s medical marijuana stash; I’ve pictures of the hash oil we found in his pick-up the day after my Grandfather passed. When my Grandfather’s health started to really fail, they moved up to his property under the guise that they were going to “take care of him and my grandmother”. They moved a trailer onto the property and began co-living with them, as their trailer didn’t have water. As my Grandfather continued to decline, they did their best to isolate family members from coming around; this is in part due to my Aunt’s husband providing Level IV narcotics to minors in our family and his bouts with CPS on sexual molestation, which were eventually dropped, though the investigation was frightening. That’s where the isolation and grooming for elder abuse by exploitation began. My grandfather eventually had to be treated for brain cancer. He was unable to change the channel with the remote, instead using a fireplace lighter and pointing it at the wall. He was incontinent at times and unaware of who was around him, this was due to the swelling from the gamma knife but went on for some time. During that time, my Aunt and her husband talked to him at length about leaving the land to them; never when my Grandmother was around. Shortly before he passed, my Grandfather shared his intent to allow my Aunt and her husband to live on the land with my Grandmother. This was news to her, as they’d discussed selling it in years prior. To understand my grandmother, you must understand that she will always remain steadfast in the commitment to do what was outlined by her husband, regardless of any compelling circumstances. My grandmother has been through a tremendous amount of grief. She has spent most of her time travelling and visiting family out of the area, always returning to her home base. She’s unable now, however, to stay in the home due to my Aunt’s husbands anger and substance abuse issues. She simply, cannot take it anymore and does not want to be around him. I believe that this is coming forward now, because they’ve manipulated my grandmother out of everything, only paying for the internet (which he needs to do his job remotely anyhow). My grandmother moved out this week. She is renting hotel rooms and looking for long term housing, she feels she simply cannot go home. However, they are not compensating her for living on her property nor do they intend to. My grandmother has no money to her name, other than that property and will be living off social security and my grandfather’s pension to rent an apartment. Here is the crux of the concern: My grandmother will not acknowledge that she’s being taken advantage of. She doesn’t have the ability to do so, she’s been suffering from grief, she’s been isolated from a majority of her family, she’s been guilted into believing she must provide for them, and they leveraged my grandfather’s death to ensure their financial security. However, this is very clearly still financial exploitation: 1. They have access to her accounts, her money, and live freely in her home. A small two bedroom trailer, which they’ve moved their family of three into. 2. They depend on my grandmother for financial support. Their house payments are behind and they are unable to make them, so they’ve moved their daughter in there to continue to make the mortgage payments. Ironically enough, they charge their daughter to live in their old home. 3. They try to isolate my Grandmother from other family members. Once she’d moved out, my Aunt made a point to ensure she sees her nightly; however, we’re never privy to their discussions. 4. They have substance abuse problems, which would not be sustainable without my grandmother’s enabling financially by allowing them to live for free. 5. There were SUDDEN changes in planning for the estate right before my grandfather died. What does one do in a situation like this? Where my Grandmother is being forced out of her home, with her name on the deed and into an apartment at her own expense because she fears the repercussions of removing them from her home; though she exhibits that fear in a non-traditional fashion and focuses on what they’ll go without, instead of where she will be left financially. How do we at least get them to pay her rent?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
This is a complicated situation, with a lot of questions to ask before sorting out what can be done, but there are a few issues to address before figuring out the whole situation. I've read your post twice and am still trying to figure it out.

1. Where is this occurring, generally? I don't care about the city or town or state, but whether or not this is in populated or rural area. I'm wondering how someone could park a trailer on someone else's property and code enforcement not become involved?

2. With all the involvement with pot, controlled substances, apparently sexual abuse, what's the criminal status of your aunt and uncle? Are they on parole?

3. Where was the rest of the family while all this was happening? Was your grandmother alone in trying to deal with your aunt and uncle?

4. Where is their house, and is anyone living in it?

5. Your grandmother as fee holder of the property is going to be liable for whatever they do, including activities in illegal narcotics use. Have the police been contacted?

6. It's time to get law enforcement involved, and ask for guidance on the state's laws on eviction. They would be given notice and evicted if they don't leave by a certain date. Getting the aunt and uncle to pay rent isn't the way to protect your grandmother, or solve any of the issues, and only redirects the underlying issues.

Besides, why would anyone want to inferentially imply this is a satisfactory situation by trying to get rent? They should be evicted.

And once they're gone, either you or an attorney can help her get a PPO to prevent them from harassing her again.

7. That raises a question of whether they're still in the RV or in the house your GM has. And she's still paying for the upkeep on the house? Maybe she should consider contacting the city to shut off the water and the electrical and heat providers to shut off those services as well.

8. Does your state have elder abuse laws? Have you seen any attorney, in real estate or elder law?

I wouldn't normally suggest this, and it may be fear and devotion to your now deceased GF, but I'm wondering if your GM is capable of handling this situation on her own, as it seems she's clearly intimidated by the manipulative duo. I understand you're trying to help, but I'm just wondering if she's so overwhelmed by the loss of her husband as well as the aggressiveness of these two that she's just not capable of dealing with the whole situation.

The other issue is that if I understand it clearly, this occurred after GF died, so how is GM respecting his wishes? If he was suffering from brain cancer, he probably wasn't clear in his thinking, and if she's aware of that, it could help her realize that this isn't the situation he wanted.

I would think it would be very challenging and depressing for her, and she needs a lot of support right now.

Lastly, where's the rest of the family on this? Are they aware of the situation?
Helpful Answer (2)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter