Is my father with Alzheimer's traveling to visit siblings in other states a healthy idea?

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He's 83 and has been living with me for 3 yrs. My brothers never came to visit when they lived in the same state and now have moved from Alaska to Arizona and want take dad there for a visit. I am concerned that this would be very confusing for him to be going to different changing environments that would not be ideal for his situation. Can anyone share their possible experiences with a situation like this?

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not by himself of coarse depends on severity my family don't help or call he cant stay with them if he does go puts more stress on me an him one sister takes care when I have to go to an convention why cant they come if ur doing ever thing else
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Bullseye, I for one have never gotten the idea that you've insisted that your Dad see your brothers. Nor have I read where you are conflicted about keeping on with his care - quite the contrary. You have been sharing and looking for help/ideas to about a decision that affects your whole family, i.e. taking your Dad to AZ. Many folks have shared their thoughts - do not have your Dad travel due to his physical and mental condition. Good advice all around. You still have to make the best decision for your Dad. Prayers for your peace of mind and wisdom to make that decision. Hugs.
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Why do you insist that your father must see your brothers? You are currently going thru court with one sibling. You will be taking him to a different state with different jurisdiction. Why do you still INSIST on visiting them? Do you perhaps, Deep Down, no longer want to care for your father? Do you perhaps, Deep Down, want to now live your own life? I think before any actions are done, you really need to find a quiet place, sit down, and figure out what it is you really want, really need. I always think of a problem/situation before going to sleep. A lot of times, when I wake up in the morning, I have ideas pop up. I write it down and go thru it later on. I write it because eventually these thoughts "disappear."

If deep down, you truly no longer want to care for father, then, proceed to go to AZ like you keep mentioning. I also suspect your desire because truly, you know deep down, that your siblings should be the one to come and visit you all. You knew it was suspicious when they insisted that YOU are Not welcome. Yet, you still want to bring father. It sounds like you're torn inside on your caregiving father.

Try to decide what you really want. If you decide that you've done enough and it's time for your brothers to care for your father, then so be it. But really expect them to set the rules regarding father. And if they decide that you shouldn't be allowed to visit him, so be it. I mean, they're already saying that you're not welcomed. That's a sign. This is my take of the situation. Only you know what's really going on with the siblings and within yourself. I don't judge you on whatever decision you make. I've been helping caregiving for 24years now. And I'm beginning to yearn for my freedom and trying to find the gumption to do it. But I think, for you, you really need to sit down and figure out what it is you really want with regards to your father.
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Bullseye: Knowing all the facts now, I would most definitely say NO DO NOT LET YOUR BROTHERS COME AND TAKE HIM TO ARIZONA....UNLESS YOU ARE READY TO GIVE HIM TO YOUR BROTHERS TO TAKE CARE OF UNTIL HE DIES!

You father is not a ping pong ball that can be bounced back and forth. Going through all the trauma in your family would be difficult for a person who is perfectly well, but your father is sick, mentally sick, and he cannot handle the tug of war that is going on between you and your brothers. It is not fair to him in any sense of the word and actually Adult Protective Services should probably be alerted to the problem because he should not be stuck in the center of a fight over his estate.

You have already been told that YOU ARE NOT WELCOME, therefore you and your father need to stay at home. If you pack your father up and head to Arizona, you are now on their turf and you are asking for a fight. Do Not Do This!!!

You have to see that your responsibility is to care for your father, and his well being should be what is most important to you, not taking him to Arizona so a real know down drag out fight can ensue. You can be damaging your father's mental condition further and he may never recover back to where he has been.

Unless the court case against you states that you need to relinquish your father to your brothers, then stay at home and invite them to come up for a visit with their father in your home.
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NO! Airline cabin pressure fluctuations will be VERY BAD FOR HIM. Talk to his MD, talk to the airlines. He'll come back in a box.
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When someone posts their situation here, not everyone is comfortable sharing their complete "real" story right away. We don't know Bullseye's reason for not sharing everything in the beginning. Privacy is one thing, spilling your gut to complete strangers, is another. One has to be on this post for a while and read what others are suggesting before one feels really safe in sharing. I'm sad for her story, I lived it and it is not easy dealing with siblings, they are after all, your family and no one wants to berate a family member. I'm guessing that she did not really want to bring all of that other baggage into the post at first. It throws the problem back on us - what could we have done to prevent. In my case it was/is a sociopathic sibling, and there is no solution for that except walking away to stay safe and healthy. I pray things will work out the best way for your Dad, and your family, brothers included. Blessings on you Bullseye. Keep the faith!
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Like I said & I stand by my original answer - this is a gray area HOWEVER, now that I also know the REAL story, I'd say NO don't take him, obviously. Right, suspicious right off the bat but all these answers could have been avoided if we had known the REAL story in the first place - js...
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Well, now that we know more about this story, it seems that those of us who were intuitively suspicious had justification. Wow...the seemingly sweet desire for dad to visit Arizona is more likely a ploy to relocate him into a different court jurisdiction. You can certainly do what you want, but if I were you, I would BEWARE ... Arizona is a state unto itself when it comes to the law.
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Removing him from his usual environment is NOT a good idea. He may even say right now, yes he wants to go, but when he is removed it is going to be hell. They are use to everything being the same each and every day, that is their comfort zone. If your brothers try to take him out of his present environment he is going to come unglued and they will have zero idea on how to handle him. Even if they bring him back home after two weeks, IF HE RETURNS TO HIS PRESENT STATE, IT WILL TAKE WEEKS OR MONTHS BECAUSE HE IS SO AGITATED BY BEING MOVED.

My mother spent 8 days in the hospital with me by her side day and night and we have been home for over 2 weeks and she is still agitated and unable to sleep.

I do not know why your brothers want to take Dad to Arizona, but his days of traveling are most likely over. If you have any idea that they may be trying to take Dad due to finances or anything I would go talk to Dad's doctor and explain to him what is happening and how you are afraid this will affect Dad's mental well being and ask doctor to write letter for you explaining that it is not a good idea to move him for any length of time.
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Thanks for your update, Bullseye. You are a "target" in the real sense of a Bullseye. For all who posted here, we always know there is more to the story than what is originally posted. You have your hands full with Dad and dealing with the courts. Hold your head up high - work with everyone as much as you can, even your brothers, but don't let your guard down. The problems always seem to have something to do with $'s, property, loans, etc. DO NOT take your Dad to AZ. That will totally confuse him. Your brothers are the ones who should be doing the traveling now, not you and your Dad, and you can not send him traveling on his own. Is your Dad aware of the situation - does he understand? Does he want to see his sons? One trip to a lawyer's office on a good day for him with your brother/s could cause you and your Dad more problems than ever imagined. It is very difficult to deal with siblings who become uncooperative and even vindictive. The threat to your husband should send up red flags all over the place and you must also protect your family. God bless you. Yes, the Lord will take care of things in His time while we are the ones being tested...Hugs. "The truth shall set you free."
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