Health failing of parents in another state, should we move there?

Not such a simple question.

Do you have kids? Are they grown? In college? Do they live with you? Near you?

Do either of you have jobs you can leave? If you're working, can you get jobs where your parents are located?

Do you have a house you'd have to sell?

Would it be easier to move you parents?

How bad off are your parents right now? Is mom caring for dad? Do they need in-home help while all of these other life decisions are being made?

Sorry, I am new and did not understand how to post my question. Here is more detail: Stepfatherinlaw just diagnosed with cancer this week - he has maybe a couple years with treatment but will not be going home anytime soon. Motherinlaw does not drive. They live in Florida. Ok - so of her 5 kids only 2 are not felons, one will have nothing to do with them the other is my hubby. They are not trustworthy and even though one lives down the street from them, she steals from them and cons them all the time. Hubby is worried if mom is left alone she will have nothing to live on. We live in another state - husband wants to move our family to Florida to deal with all this. Stepfatherinlaw's kids are not in the picture for decades. They are in their 70s. As I search for homes with cottages etc on property, they are nonexistant. I am frustrated...I don't know how to make this work. Any advice is appreciated.

More detail: they live in a retirement only trailer park. Our children are in middle school. We are newly retired from the military - so no jobs to worry over or owned property currently, just kids being in a good school.

Hubby is currently there now helping out but will not be able to stay indefinitely.

What of you move them close to where you are?

gb - We live in the mountains of WV, over an hour from anything, it would not be a place for them. They visited once and really hated it. :) We have been planning to move since hubby got out of the military and have been planning a move for this summer....just had not nailed down where to go. The schools are bad here and we want the kids to get a good education. So where we are is out. And now that Fatherinlaw is in the hospital, he is not going to want to change any of that. After he passes, mom might move but that could be from 1-7 years.

What does your husband think you all should do?

It doesn't sound like your in-laws have a lot of support. If you moved there are you prepared to be full-time caregivers? With children of your own that's a lot on your plate.

Besides houses with cottages attached you can also look for 2 family houses or houses with a mother-in-law suite attached. If you and your family do decide to move you can contact a real estate agent in FL and try to find what you need.

I see lots of potential for trouble here with the theiving kin folk. You, more precisely, husband, needs to think about legal aspects, POA, wills etc so that kin don't steal funds that will be needed for care.

As for moving to Florida, that's tough to advise. I'm take care of my folks from 600 miles away but I don't have the kin folk problems you have. I make trips and deal with various crisis. I'm not moving home but I know I will have to spend periods of time there as things get worse.

The way I see it is God forbid if anything were to happen to your Mother in Law your Husband would never forgive Himself. Since You both are retired, and there's no owned property issues at present, and it's not very difficult to move Children from one school to another I would say go for it. Some times if We ponder and think too long about making the correct decision it can become too late. You are doing this out of love and that's the most powerful reason of all.