Sometimes I think she is playing me for a fool. She did have a traumatic time more than four years ago. She lost her brother, mother, and husband around the same time. She was placed on anti-depressants and shortly thereafter, adopted two of her grandchildren. When I moved back to my home state, I realized that she had begun buying uncontrollably. The closets and one entire room are no longer accessible. The other rooms are piled up with stuff and she has begun using a spare bathroom for her "bargains". Her stuff spills out of the house and into the driveway. I had to help her remove her 12+ cats because she refused to stop feeding them. (Thankfully she did not allow them to live inside.) She seems completely lucid to me, but I began getting concerned about her taking care of administrative things. I discovered a huge basket of unopened mail related to her property taxes. She had not paid any of them along with other county taxes for almost four years. She had lied to me and told me that everything was taken care of. She even seemed offended that I asked. She was close to $10,000 in debt. So, I have pushed her to make these payments a priority. I found out that instead of mailing the payments like she agreed to, she went and blew almost all of her monthly income on jewelry! I confronted her about this and her attitude is that it is not a big deal. She feels that she has been responsible all her life and it is now time for her to do what she wants. They have threatened to take her home to recover the costs of the unpaid taxes. I have now offered to mail the payments, but if her spending isn't under control - the checks will bounce. I don't have the money to pay for them - as we are already paying for her transportation. She takes good care of the kids and she seems to be in her right mind except for these unhealthy and dangerous habits. She seems to try and deflect responsibility to me more and more. She is 63 and I am 31. It gets to the point where she doesn't want to take care of basic responsibilities and tells me, "Could you do it for me? I don't know how." She does this so she can go back to doing what she wants to do. I live five hours away, so it becomes frustrating when she shrugs her shoulders and plays this card with me. I feel overwhelmed and angry. I find myself yelling at her a lot because she doesn't seem to care about the consequences that this will have on the children, herself, and ultimately me. Her other four kids don't care and never lend a hand. My husband is patient, but getting frustrated too. Is this typical of dementia or some other illness? Or, is this just someone who prefers to be taken care of by someone else? She has impeccable memory, but she often tunes me out. I love my mother, but this is like watching someone deliberately try and wreck a train... Any ideas? Suggestions?