I am up all night, and sleep for about six to 7 hours every morning from 5am to 12pm. Obviously, this is not optimal, however this was a job as all of you know that kept me going and going until I had severe burnout the beginning of September. I knew she was going to pass, and was starting to get a caregiving team going, and had one in place. Her health deteriorated very fast, so that never came to be. However, my husband and I (we were really the only people she knew), I met one family member at midnight before her death.
Is this usual. I am pretty seasoned in this business (9 years), and have had more people want to hire me, and I am really taking my time, because It has only been two weeks, and I did not have a break not two days for 7 months. This does feel like I am tired, it is because I really miss her. As grumpy as she could be, I realize she was very sick, I loved her, and in the end, she has put me and my husband in her will. The day before her death, she kissed me, said she loved me, and was so thankful I was the only one and my husband once a week, that would sit with her hours on end. She was very weak when she said that, and then she closed her eyes while I was with her, and that has had a profound effect on me.
Also, I found out, as her Attorney is her POA, and I am the ONLY one that knew anything about her accounting, and I was doing it, and so not only was I working with her 8 hours a day, I came home at night to be and House Manager for her life and bills. So this obviously was just too much. That being said, the bottom line, I found her as a client, we worked through our issues, and she finally accepted me, and hugged me the day before her death and said she loved me very much.
Now, I still have a few clients, but decided to take on small one day jobs, not something that will fill my life with all of the emotions of the caregiving, although I love caring for our people that need help.
I am focusing on my mother again (volunteer of course), and that has been extremely rewarding at night. 2 hours each night, as she is in late stage Alzheimer's and my father is in late stage PPA (Primary Progressive Aphasia).
Sorry for the sentence structure and the mixing around of statements.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
Thank you to all for the support you have given me.
There are people in this world that are meant to do this type of work, I believe I am one of them!