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My mother has been in a nursing since August. Myself and since links were always able to go and sit with my mother in the dining room and assist her if need.


Recent. The rules have changed and the nursing home is saying that no family members are allowed in the dining with with the parent / resident. We reside in Mass. Thus is very upsetting to my mother. Have you heard of this before?

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I do know that space was limited at my mother's nursing home and seats were assigned so accommodating families was always a bit of a juggling act. I used to feed my mom either lunch or supper every day and often there were no extra chairs, so I ended up buying a cheap folding chair and storing it in my mother's room. If they won't allow you in the dining room I would insist that they provide an alternative, there should always be some way for families to dine together.
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Yes, my mother has been in several rehab/nursing facilities in which family was banned from the cafeteria while residents were eating. I was told that it was a privacy issue which I didn’t understand at all. The nursing home in which she permanently resides now does not have this ban, though the one up the street does, so I believe it is not a state mandate.

I agree, that this would be a hardship that would severely restrict visitation. My mother has always been a slow eater (1-1/2 to 2 hours to finish). Most of my family’s visits take place in the cafeteria with her. We often bring in meals from outside and we eat together. This is true for other residents as well. I feel that having family around while the residents eat is comforting and reminiscent of past time spent with family. I can’t imagine “residents’ privacy” could be more important than that.
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Hard as it to believe, I have seen family members take food
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Could be encourage the resident to eat and not have resident "give" food to family, so that it appears resident ate when he/she did not.
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Have you asked why the change has happened? That would be the place to start.
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“ Myself and since links”.... not sure what you meant to write, I hope it wasn’t “myself and six kids”. If so that may be why they’re discouraging visits at meals. On a more serious note, however I have never heard that a family member wasn’t allowed in the dining room. At Moms NH they encouraged it. If there were more than one visitor however they would serve the meal in the living room because the dinner tables were pretty crowded. Can you eat in the living room with her?
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At the nursing home my mom is in, family is encouraged to come & eat. They even sell meal tickets for $3.00 & they keep a few tables open so it’s just family at the table.
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At my spouse's snf, visitors dined or visited at the same tables. Residents/family alike could go to the cafeteria. Nobody was asked to leave if they behaved. Staff had the authority to not feed them something harmful - sugar for diabetics for example. Family was charged the employee's discounted price. Outside visitors were charged the standard prices for their orders.
Family visits were encouraged, especially at mealtimes. If the resident needed assistance beyond what family/visitor could provide, a staff was assigned to help to ensure the resident was not denied food. This also meant family could not be banned at mealtimes.

I suspect if families or other visitors were banned arbitrarily, there would be much push back as policies prohibited isolation unless there was some "medically necessarily" or "safety" issues that could only be handled if visitors were banned. If it was a privacy issue that required extra chair/table space, there were other areas/rooms for small, private meetings.

I would ask your mom's nurse about this. If no satisfactory answer, supervising nurse. Still not satisfied, go to Social Services or Administration. Someone will have an answer. If the resident is capable of understanding, it should be explained to the resident. Isolation is a violation of resident/visitor rights.
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Did they send out a written notice of the change in policy?
Because I had to sign a form that said we understood the rules and we would be notified in writing of any changes with 30 days to object.

I would contact the ombudsmen if this change is causing distress for your mom, the facility needs to offer an alternative if your moms wellbeing is adversely affected.
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I am quite amazed, really. How very unusual. Often the homes have many patients requiring assistance with eating, and they love family coming in. Do they give a reason for this? Is there a lack of space. Could one family member come to assist with meal?
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