Have you any advice about medications and assisted living?

My loved one kept OTC meds hidden in her room due to the very situation you described. We also had several days worth of prescription meds in the pill separator for her for this very situation. I only knew to prepare for this due to what we went through with another family member.

this won’t work with a dementia patient tho.

The medication nurse is correct. Their medication RNs cannot give medications that they have no order for. They have to clear medications with each physician, sadly.
Is your Mom capable of taking her own medications? My brother was on Level I and was able to administer his own meds.
If your Mom is not able to administer her own meds safely this will sadly take some time. I am a bit surprised that the number of meds and number of MD orders and how this would all work wasn't completely discussed with the MPOA and Mom prior to going in.
I hope they will get this together quickly. It has a bad effect on Mom's overall trust going in, and isn't a good thing.

Snarky? I'd be in the lobby having a pink fit and biting people's ankles.

I'm all for protocol. I think protocols are great, and nothing makes me happier than a checklist and an entire manual of Standard Operating Procedures.

But a protocol that does not follow the process complete from one end to the other is not a protocol, it's a tripwire. And this ALF's protocol did not start where it ought to have done, at pre-admission. A four to five day hiatus in your mother's medication routine because THEY didn't either get her ducks in a row themselves or advise you on the requirements for doing it for her is flipping outrageous.

Make a formal complaint with a view to the ALF's treating this as a learning experience and improving their admissions procedure. I don't care how common it might be, this is *poor*; and worse, as Alva points out, gets her off on the wrong foot. Not Fair.

My situation...They told me they could not take Moms meds. They would need to get prescriptions from her Dr. That was even OTC and orders on how they were to be taken. I said the pharmacy will not refill her prescriptions if it shows that she still has pills left. I was told I was wrong. I wasn't. I got a call later telling me their pharmacy would not fill the prescriptions because she still had pills. So I had to take her pill bottles back to the AL. They locked them in a drawer in her room and the Medtech had to get them from there until a refill could be done.

Your mother should be getting her meds on the times prescribed. Her water pill, IMO, is important. I will be surprised if the pharmacy does not tell them the same thing I said.

The AL should have told you beforehand that they needed to obtain MD approval for meds; yes, her PCP should have a complete list of her meds, but may not have signed off as s/he was not the prescribing doc.

Is this an emergency with any of her meds? If it is, get hold of the DON and her physician to straighten out.

If not, let your mother be snarky. She will reap what she sows; people will find her annoying. Not your problem.

Has the diuretic been dispensed?

If mom is symptomatic from lack of this med, I would call 911 and have her taken to the ER.

My mother took her own medications for the first couple of years she lived in Assisted Living. I organized her pillbox for her, she took the meds independently. The OTC stuff had to be kept under lock & key in the kitchen drawer; only she (and the ALF nurse) had the key. When I put her on their medication administration program, then THEY took over the administration of her medications, but not before all the meds were approved and orders written by her prescribing doctors. I had her signed up with a PCP who came into the ALF at least once a week, so that facilitated smooth operations and communications between the ALF, the pharmacy, the doctor, the nurse and the QMAPs who dole out the meds.

IF your mother has been signed up for the medication administration program at this ALF, then they should have had this matter all straightened out before she moved in. I'm sorry you're going thru such a thing, and can only imagine the aggravated calls you're getting from mom. My mother also felt she was The Only Resident living at the ALF, not one of 100 people, and that as soon as she needed or wanted something, the CGs had to stop what they were doing to see to her every need. That's not to diminish this matter about your mother's meds; just to empathize with you about your mother's Me First attitude. It's hard (nearly impossible) for them to learn how to wait their turn in life, I know.

I hope this matter resolves entirely in short order. I would also highly recommend you sign your mom up for the docs who come into the ALF to treat the residents. That was the smartest move I'd ever made with my folks and facilitated a much easier run of things in general. Give mom a while to adjust to things too, and see if you can get her OUT of her apt and socializing with the other residents so she's not hyper-focused on what's 'wrong' and complaining 24/7

Good luck!

All medications need to be prescribed by her doctor. Staff can not give medication that has not been prescribed. Please give the facility a list of all her medications with the times she takes them. The doctor can prescribe the medications. She - and you - may have to get used to some medications not being on her usual schedule. Staff are extremely busy and do try hard to be accomodating.

UPDATE:
I appreciate all who responded. I think we have finally resolved the meds situation for my mom, but not without serious damage done to her transition to Assissted Living! Those first days should have been so positive and reassuring to my mom and to us, her family. It was her reluctant choice to go to AL, and they really blew it. They definitely got her off on the wrong foot. I hope they can repair it, but I’m not sure. They just affirmed all of her fears about AL: that she will have no freedom; that once they are paid she doesn’t matter; that no one will listen; that she is being “ warehoused” till she dies”. And, they undid all of our reasons for suggesting AL in the first place; her meds would be well attended so she wouldn’t forget(ha!); she will have trained personnel assisting her with bathing,
(she went 6 days without a shower after they told her at intake that she would have bath or shower twice a week!)
I finally got her bladder control medicine approved yesterday, but it still was not given till today! I do not understand why it took so long. We turned in the medicine that clearly showed her prescription and the prescribing doctor, but for some reason it was not on the primary doctor’s MAR . I called his office and he called me back directly, and texted to he that he had approved it and it still took another day!
I spoke to the AL director about all of these missteps and to the nurse in charge of meds. I told them that she has not left her room in 6 days because she has not had her bladder control medicine and she has not had a bath! She is self conscious about both of those things of course! Whenever we asked any of the CNAs and/ or other staff, nothing. No one knew anything, or they would “find out” and come back, or they passed the buck. One shift would blame the other shift. I asked why they did not communicate with each other at shift change?
We tried to remain patient over the weekend because there is not much anyone can do about that. But her first shower should have been on Friday, and no one knows why she was not bathed. And as I stated before, she did not get ANY of her meds on the first day! Just so many things went wrong that should have been in place seamlessly. My daughter used to work at a very large county health facility and she said that this small, local ALF where my mother is, is so lucky that we have not reported them. I told her we will if anything else happens. We were so hopeful that in our small town, this beautiful, small ALF was available. It’s minutes from my home, it’s relatively new, clean and has residents whom she knows, and has great reviews.
I just can’t understand why this first week was so poorly handled. I have documented everything so if we have to file a complaint or meet with the head director, we will be prepared. I think we have been patient long enough. NOT the experience we were expecting.

My mother entered an assisted living facility right after Thanksgiving and this all sounds familiar. I am still working on having the correct meds given and prescriptions written as they need to be. Do not have anything prescribed "as needed" unless your loved one is able to actually request the meds. My mother became extremely constipated to the point of needing to take her for an abdominal CT scan and it took months to get this situation resolved. I ended up taking her home and giving her Miralax, stool softener and finally Milk of Magnesia until her BMs were regular enough that I felt she was safe and we were at least starting fresh. I took her home after a tooth extraction because I thought she might need a pain medication and wouldn't be given even a tylenol at the facility. I understand the rules/regulations but it seems that my mother's only option is to call me if she wants something simple like a Tums. I also took all of her meds to the facility when she moved in and they pretty much gave them all back to me and ordered new from a specialty pharmacy where she reportedly can't get coated or easy to swallow pills.
As for the shower situation, that's familiar too. Until last week she wasn't given even one shower without my asking and she went as long as 12 days without being bathed. I was even lied to and told that she had a shower but refused to have her hair washed etc. My mother might not be able to tell me she had a shower last Tuesday but can absolutely tell me if she had a shower today. I feel like the administrative/office staff avoid eye contact and scurry away when I go in the office.
I worry about the residents who might not have family nearby or someone to advocate and look out for them.