If your mother needs a nursing home and can afford it (with Medicaid) what is the issue? Do you need help selecting one? Are other family members opposed? Is she opposed? What are her impairments.
Explain the situation a little, so we'll know what kind of help you are seeking.
I seem that there is no place where she is happy. I have lossed my job, had 3 car accident, no family help, my doctor want me to go into the hospital for severe depression, my mother keep telling me she wants to die and take me with her, etc. I dont know what to do I am feeling as if my head is going to explot. My brain is just giving up. I feel like there is no way out.
tinylene11, I think that you do know what to do. Place your mother in a nursing home, and then focus your energy on getting well yourself. There is a way out. Really! And you deserve your chance at health and happiness.
You know what to do, and your mother can afford it, so why isn't it happening? I'll bet you are not feeling strong enough to make all the decisions and preparations and handle the move. Is that it?
If your mother has a case worker (who evaluated her needs for Medicaid, for example) call that person. If you do not know of a case worker, call Social Services in your mother's county. Explain that you are going to be hospitalized for severe depression, you are unable to care for your mother who has dementia, and you need immediate help to have her placed in a nursing home.
Another source of help might be at the hospital your doctor wants you to be in. Call and talk to the social worker there. Explain that you are going to be admitted but some arrangements have to be made for your mother.
There is a way out. There are people who can help you. Can you hang in there long enough to call someone to notify that you are unable to care for Mother and other arrangements need to be made? Then please, please, do what you need to do for your own health.
At this point it is very important that you get the help you need. You need to get your mother places as soon as possible and get yourself into the hospital for the treatment your doctor says is important for your mental health.
I would view this as an emergency. Talk to your mom's doctor and explain that you need hospitalization and are no longer able to care for your mom. Ask him which nursing home he would recommend for your mom and see if he can help you to get her placed quickly.
If it makes you feel better, tell your mom that her placement may be temporary while you get the care you need and can get back on your feet. Maybe that will make dealing with her easier. Just do what you have to so you can start to focus on yourself and get well.
Once you are better, you can take time to see if a better facility exists in your area for your mom. You can transfer her then, should you want to do so. Please know that your mom may not be happy regardless of where she is and there is nothing you can do about that.
Please make yourself a priority and get the help you need. Love and Hugs, Cattails
Explain the situation a little, so we'll know what kind of help you are seeking.
You know what to do, and your mother can afford it, so why isn't it happening? I'll bet you are not feeling strong enough to make all the decisions and preparations and handle the move. Is that it?
If your mother has a case worker (who evaluated her needs for Medicaid, for example) call that person. If you do not know of a case worker, call Social Services in your mother's county. Explain that you are going to be hospitalized for severe depression, you are unable to care for your mother who has dementia, and you need immediate help to have her placed in a nursing home.
Another source of help might be at the hospital your doctor wants you to be in. Call and talk to the social worker there. Explain that you are going to be admitted but some arrangements have to be made for your mother.
There is a way out. There are people who can help you. Can you hang in there long enough to call someone to notify that you are unable to care for Mother and other arrangements need to be made? Then please, please, do what you need to do for your own health.
I would view this as an emergency. Talk to your mom's doctor and explain that you need hospitalization and are no longer able to care for your mom. Ask him which nursing home he would recommend for your mom and see if he can help you to get her placed quickly.
If it makes you feel better, tell your mom that her placement may be temporary while you get the care you need and can get back on your feet. Maybe that will make dealing with her easier. Just do what you have to so you can start to focus on yourself and get well.
Once you are better, you can take time to see if a better facility exists in your area for your mom. You can transfer her then, should you want to do so. Please know that your mom may not be happy regardless of where she is and there is nothing you can do about that.
Please make yourself a priority and get the help you need. Love and Hugs, Cattails