My Mom is 95 and lives in an independent living home, she is basically deaf without her hearing aids. She is hard to wake up and the managers are worried if there is a fire she would not wake up to the fire alarm and knock on the door. They are requiring her to have a sitter from 7pm to 7 am nightly which is very expensive if she doesn’t move to the assisted living.
She does not want to move; and if she did, I feel as if that would be the downfall of my mother. Has a situation happened like this to any of y’all. Looking for alternatives to pose to the management.
Thank you,
Independent living means they should be able to evacuate safely on their own .
You could try the other suggestions , but these private facilities typically have a clause in the contract saying they can give 30 days notice to have a resident leave for ANY reason . They make the rules .
As far as Mom not wanting to move, that’s typical . But when it’s necessary they have to go , just like when Mom sent you to school even if you didn’t want to go .
Mom is subject to the rules of the facility, it’s that simple. If they aren’t comfortable they can request Mom move .
Hiring a sitter overnight is a problem if they don’t show up .
And be on alert to the admins not supporting her indy living 😡
Alternatives to Moving from Independent Living
Situation Overview
A 95-year-old resident has been asked to move from independent living to assisted living due to severe hearing loss and difficulty waking. The stated concern is fire safety — specifically, the risk that she may not hear alarms or staff knocking. The facility is requiring a nighttime caregiver, which is costly, and the resident does not wish to move.
Possible Alternatives to Explore
1. Visual and Tactile Fire Alert Systems
Instead of relying on sound-based alarms, many seniors who are deaf or hard of hearing use:
• Strobe-light fire alarms (bright flashing lights)
• Bed shaker alarms that vibrate the mattress or pillow
• Wearable alert devices that vibrate strongly
These systems are commonly used in private homes and are recognized accommodations for hearing loss. They directly address the concern of hearing fire alarms.
2. Room-Specific or Door-Linked Alerting Systems
Some alert systems can be installed that:
• Trigger flashing lights inside the apartment
• Activate both a bed shaker and a low-frequency alarm
Low-frequency tones and vibration can sometimes be perceived even when traditional alarms are not.
3. Requesting a Reasonable Accommodation
Independent living communities are often required to consider reasonable accommodations for disabilities, including hearing loss, before requiring a move to assisted living.
Questions to ask the facility:
• Have assistive technologies been evaluated as an alternative?
• Can a trial period with enhanced alarm systems be allowed?
• Is there a formal reasonable accommodation request process?
Facilities sometimes default to assisted living as a standard solution rather than exploring alternatives first.
4. Limited Night Check Instead of a Full-Time Caregiver
Instead of an overnight caregiver, ask whether:
• Periodic night checks by on-site staff would meet safety requirements
• Staff could verify responsiveness during rounds rather than providing constant care
This option can be significantly less expensive while still addressing safety concerns.
5. Input from Outside Authorities
Outside input can be helpful and persuasive:
• A local fire marshal can advise whether visual or tactile alarms meet safety requirements
• A Long-Term Care Ombudsman (a free advocacy service) can help residents and families address disputes with facilities
Facilities often respond differently when external authorities are consulted.
6. Clarifying the Actual Risk
It is reasonable to ask:
• Has there been an actual incident, or is this a theoretical concern?
• Are other residents with hearing loss treated the same way?
• Is the decision driven by safety needs or liability concerns?
These distinctions can affect whether alternatives are appropriate.
A Note of Balance
If the resident truly cannot be awakened by any means, then additional supervision may be necessary. However, that conclusion should come only after reasonable accommodations and assistive technologies have been fully explored. Even slowing the process can provide the resident time, dignity, and a sense of control.
I hope this helps.
Staff should be required to oversee resident evacuation and conduct room checks during an alarm situation.
Your mother is the only resident there who's hard of hearing??
A solution can be found since there are many people that are deaf in this world and do not need to pay for an aide or assisted living. There is a clear safety issue however that needs to be addressed.
I would suggest contacting your local fire department to get feedback on tech solutions or similar for warning deaf people, and explore keeping the hearing aids in while sleeping.
There are "bed shakers" that are connected to the fire alarm system to awaken a deaf person, for example.
Finally, consult with an attorney that specializes in representing those with disabilities and ADA laws. Best of luck!
Your mother is 95, and so she might need to go to assisted living sooner or later anyway. You should start figuring this out.
Wish you all the best.
If this is the only reason she moves to AL, she would only be paying the base rent and not the additional charges for assistance with ADLs. She will receive additional services (all meals provided) and will be someplace where she can start getting that assistance when she needs it without moving. I'm sorry, but this is the reality.
this IL was part of a tiered system so there was IL, AL, SNF and a separate hospice wing. Mom was on 3rd floor and she was able to do the fire drills. Her exiting the IL was due to her wandering the hallways at night and not being able to properly do her own medication management. Actually got her to go directly from IL to a NH bypassing the AL phase totally.
If they keep insisting on the large additional charge to go live with people with actual chronic adl difficulties, state that you’d like the number for the ombudsman. Being deaf doesn’t cause toileting or other adl deficits. It seems they are discriminating.
He was living in his own home until six months ago and is now in a great IL community at my sister’s and my insistence, as he kept climbing ladders, etc.
Sorry Alva, I meant to add this as a new post and not a response to yours.
I am experiencing this now with in-laws of my daughter; the hubby is having continuous falls and the facility is worried that independent living isn't happening anymore given this burden on his partner, and etc. Family is called in for conferencing and talks are ongoing about next steps. To be certain, this move won't increase his balance and prevent falls, but it will have someone checking more frequently by far, and assessing falls that DO occur.
There comes a time; looks like your mom is approaching it.
Assisted Living means no more cooking, cleaning and laundry?
She still can come and go as before. She is not moving to a totally different location or state, is she? This is not a "humiliating" change for anyone at the age of 95! Worse would be having "babysitter" there every night, with no privacy. Not to mention the extra cost.