My MIL is in the long arduous process of packing up her home and moving into a IL facility. We are unable to dedicate the time she wants to help her pack (think 10 hours to pack one box). She hired Visiting Angels to help her with these tasks, but they called after a few weeks and told her that they had to “prioritize their non-ambulatory clients” and would not continue providing services to her. We were a little shocked by this, but also understand. Anyone else had an experience like this?? She has a history of not telling the truth about things. We’re concerned that this is going to make her crumble and not move into the facility which she has managed to delay for 5 months.
https://www.retirementliving.com/reviews/moves-for-seniors
In my experience, one of the first skills to go in dementia is the ability to plan, to forsee and to prioritize.
My mother would NEVER have been able to pack for her move to Assisted/ Independent Living. We fictionalized the idea that this was a temporary move so that she just needed to take 2 weeks worth of seasonal clothing.
We cleared out her house over the course of 5 years.
Someone needs to make a list for " immediate" packing and "longterm" packing.
Get her moved, take pictures of everything that is left and have it put in storage if the house needs to be sold right away.
There are also companies that specialize in re-locating elders. Have you looked into those?
There are only certain jobs these agencies are willing to take on these days.
When I cleaned out Moms upstairs I had 3 piles and she sat in a chair. One, throw away, another give away to Church yardsale or thrift shop, and what she wanted to keep. Then we went thru the keep pile again. This is overwhelming for Mom. She needs someone who can sort of take over and be able to say "Mom you will not need that". Oh when I think of what I may have to get rid of. I wish I had kept it simple. No collections. You don't need 20 towels when its just you. Don't need 6 sets of sheets when its just you.
So as of today, she is supposed to move this weekend and is threatening to cancel it for the 4th time. (Canceling moving company last minute which will probably fire her too) and waste another months rent at the new place ($3300/month). Her plan was to move a few boxes with her, put some in storage, and slowly have the VA help her move a box or two over when she needed it. I’m suprised this gig has lasted this long to be honest, but I try and stay out of it as much as I can for my sanity. All this avoidance does not get anything moving or put her in a safer position.
Moving companies are out because they won’t have the time and patience to deal with her indecisiveness and my hubby and I can only do so much because of our jobs. We are also trying to hold firm boundaries where we don’t swoop in and enable. At this juncture we are just trying to offer alternative suggestions for her to work through. Hard balance because this move needs to happen!!
Everybody wins!
Make sure that whomever you bring in absolutely knows that she must move and they can not entertain her staying in her home.
This should be an exciting new season of her life.
I wish I could say she’s excited and looking forward to it! She’s very change adverse but I’m confident once she moves, she will love it.
I think that you are dealing with two types of people when hiring from an agency. The ones that don't want to do anything and only do the bear minimum or the ones that are task oriented and they can't deal with the no progress of 1 box every 10 hours.
Just my personal experience and observation.