My husband had a brain tumor which left him in wheelchair, unable to swallow or eat (has feeding tube in stomach) . I work so I have aides for a few hours/day, visiting nurses and PT have hired personal trainer. I'm not usually a confrontational person, but boy, I am now! A physical therapist called me and said when she arrived, my husband was on toilet by himself. He said he had fallen off but got back up, poop all over. I said I'd be there in 10-15 minutes. When I arrived home, PT was on my ljv ing room couch. I said " how is he? Why aren't you in there with hjm? " She said "I don't clean up poop!" I asked him if he was ok, checked him for injuries, c!earned him up. After 20 minutes she came in and asked if he was ok. I told her she could leave. She asked if it was ok to come back tomorrow I told her I obviously did not have my have schedule book with me at the moment!
Then a personal trainer I hired, young, energetic, bubbly. She was great at first then started having problems with boundaries in MY opinion. I caught her giving him drops of something in his mouth. I yelled at her, telling her she could not give him anything! Then rubbing his shoulders when other people visiting. Then start massaging his feet and legs for an hour instead of working him out. Then wanting to take him in rafting and skiing trips. My husband and I fought about her a lot. He said he agreed with me about feeling uncomfortable with her, but he refused to let her go. So finally I told her she was no longer needed. In the meantime I hired a man who does not " baby" him and is motivational and a good role model. Has anyone else had issues with helpers before? Any suggestions as how to handle situations without blowing up at them, as I did?
Now in perky personal trainers defense.. massage is part of PT,, wish PT guy had done that, may have helped mom more than walking 3 laps around the couch with her rollator! But I agree ski trips and rafting are sort of out of line for someone in a wheelchair!
We had elder financial abuse happen in our family through a privately hired individual (a woman to care for an elderly man). She took him for everything right under the nose of his sister who was supposed to be watching over his affairs.
An agency is licensed, bonded, insured. They do background checks on their employees and verify that they have actual experience. They are accountable if anything goes wrong while caring for your husband. We now use Visiting Angels and have been ecstatic with their quality of people and responsiveness. They will also send subs when the primary caregiver is sick or goes on vacation. Please consider this option, it is worth every penny.
WherecI live Homecare is provided thru the hospital. In Moms case, the OT pretty much did the same thing the PT did. Mom was living with me so didn't need to learn how to do things for herself. Teaching her how to dress was useless because she had Dementia and could not learn anyway. I asked him if he really thought he was needed, he agreed he wasn't.
We all have come across people who don't do the job or there is a personality clash. I am not afraid to complain and ask for a replacement.
You were right in how u handled things.
I don't believe a personal trainer should be doing massage, unless you've given them special permission to do so. Either a physical therapist (PT) or massage therapist (MT) are allowed because they are licensed professionals. In most states I believe, you need to be licensed in order to touch another person professionally. Even nail technicians and hair dressers have to be licensed. Personal trainers are not licensed professionals. Often their training is just an on-line course. PT's have to have a doctorate degree and pass a rigorous state exam and then they get their license. This is very different criteria than what is required of personal trainers. There are excellent personal trainers out there but, because their training is not as regulated though, be careful who you hire.
Nursing assistants or home health aides typically do the toileting, not the therapists. I'm not sure if the home PT is even allowed to change the patient, since it involves removing his pants, touching his private area, etc. You'd have to ask the agency. There might be liability issues, but I'm not sure. That said, kind of unprofessional for her to say "I don't clean up poop."
None of these professionals should be giving him anything to eat or drink unless they have been given permission to do so, especially since he is npo! That is a huge red flag.