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My husband had a brain tumor which left him in wheelchair, unable to swallow or eat (has feeding tube in stomach) . I work so I have aides for a few hours/day, visiting nurses and PT have hired personal trainer. I'm not usually a confrontational person, but boy, I am now! A physical therapist called me and said when she arrived, my husband was on toilet by himself. He said he had fallen off but got back up, poop all over. I said I'd be there in 10-15 minutes. When I arrived home, PT was on my ljv ing room couch. I said " how is he? Why aren't you in there with hjm? " She said "I don't clean up poop!" I asked him if he was ok, checked him for injuries, c!earned him up. After 20 minutes she came in and asked if he was ok. I told her she could leave. She asked if it was ok to come back tomorrow I told her I obviously did not have my have schedule book with me at the moment!
Then a personal trainer I hired, young, energetic, bubbly. She was great at first then started having problems with boundaries in MY opinion. I caught her giving him drops of something in his mouth. I yelled at her, telling her she could not give him anything! Then rubbing his shoulders when other people visiting. Then start massaging his feet and legs for an hour instead of working him out. Then wanting to take him in rafting and skiing trips. My husband and I fought about her a lot. He said he agreed with me about feeling uncomfortable with her, but he refused to let her go. So finally I told her she was no longer needed. In the meantime I hired a man who does not " baby" him and is motivational and a good role model. Has anyone else had issues with helpers before? Any suggestions as how to handle situations without blowing up at them, as I did?

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A physical therapist can refer to themselves as a "PT". A personal trainer cannot. It is against the law. If the personal trainer is referring to himself/herself as a PT, that is your first clue that this person is presenting themselves as something they are not.
I don't believe a personal trainer should be doing massage, unless you've given them special permission to do so. Either a physical therapist (PT) or massage therapist (MT) are allowed because they are licensed professionals. In most states I believe, you need to be licensed in order to touch another person professionally. Even nail technicians and hair dressers have to be licensed. Personal trainers are not licensed professionals. Often their training is just an on-line course. PT's have to have a doctorate degree and pass a rigorous state exam and then they get their license. This is very different criteria than what is required of personal trainers. There are excellent personal trainers out there but, because their training is not as regulated though, be careful who you hire.

Nursing assistants or home health aides typically do the toileting, not the therapists. I'm not sure if the home PT is even allowed to change the patient, since it involves removing his pants, touching his private area, etc. You'd have to ask the agency. There might be liability issues, but I'm not sure. That said, kind of unprofessional for her to say "I don't clean up poop."

None of these professionals should be giving him anything to eat or drink unless they have been given permission to do so, especially since he is npo! That is a huge red flag.
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First, it is not a PTs or OTs responsibility to get someone to the bathroom and clean them up. An aide, yes.

WherecI live Homecare is provided thru the hospital. In Moms case, the OT pretty much did the same thing the PT did. Mom was living with me so didn't need to learn how to do things for herself. Teaching her how to dress was useless because she had Dementia and could not learn anyway. I asked him if he really thought he was needed, he agreed he wasn't.

We all have come across people who don't do the job or there is a personality clash. I am not afraid to complain and ask for a replacement.

You were right in how u handled things.
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Please hire through an agency. It will be more money, but just think about how much time and effort and stress you just spent trying to find a decent person. And BTW hiring private individuals makes you an employer, did you know that? So lots of record-keeping, taxes to pay possibly, etc. All that and you have no idea if these individuals are qualified (sounds like it was a parade of losers). Sorry, but "you get what you pay for".

We had elder financial abuse happen in our family through a privately hired individual (a woman to care for an elderly man). She took him for everything right under the nose of his sister who was supposed to be watching over his affairs.

An agency is licensed, bonded, insured. They do background checks on their employees and verify that they have actual experience. They are accountable if anything goes wrong while caring for your husband. We now use Visiting Angels and have been ecstatic with their quality of people and responsiveness. They will also send subs when the primary caregiver is sick or goes on vacation. Please consider this option, it is worth every penny.
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anonymous954599 Sep 2019
Thanks, I totally agree with you. I have aides, nurses, and physical therapist through agencies. Personal trainer and massage therapist are independent
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Got ya Little.. that is strange Did you ever find out what the drops were?
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anonymous954599 Sep 2019
She said they were all natural, homeopathic. I told her I don't care, you don't know what medications he's taking, how they can interact. I said, "you are not his doctor. Do what we hired you to do and nothing more!"
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We had home PT’s years ago who were pretty much useless as well. I’m sorry you’ve found the same thing. I wonder about the training and restrictions they must go through before they are sent to someone’s home.
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anonymous954599 Sep 2019
I wonder the same thing. They need to be trained, be caring, and have upbeat positive personalities
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The very nice tattooed young PT man they sent for my moms home PT this year was in my opinion pretty useless,, but mom did love asking him to show her his tattoos ( only reason I mentioned it)..LOL He did recommend some handrails we put in, but otherwise he did about 20 minutes of work with her, and 20 minutes of showing her dog pictures and asking my hubs about stuff ( hes a local boy) and recommending stuff we were sure not going to so,, like medical MJ and accupuncture ( already had gone over that stuff with her DR)
Now in perky personal trainers defense.. massage is part of PT,, wish PT guy had done that, may have helped mom more than walking 3 laps around the couch with her rollator! But I agree ski trips and rafting are sort of out of line for someone in a wheelchair!
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anonymous954599 Sep 2019
Ha! But perky personal trainer started out doing 15 minutes of massage, then went to 45 minutes with 15 minutes of workout. Plus I already have a massage therapist coming 1x/week for him
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