My mother is 91 and lives in a beautiful apartment within a senior living community. I call her daily, take her to all her appointments, do all her shopping, send surprise gifts and take her out to eat, despite her admitted hatred of my husband. She has refused our invitation to go on short trips...but then spews venom when we take our twice yearly one week vacation. I am 67 and my husband is 71, and we both had near fatal medical problems in 2018. Our children are grown and live out of town with our grandchildren. Mom is in perfect health but has arthritis and some early dementia. She feels my husband and I are at an age where we should stay home and rest like she has to! She complains that she has no friends and is lonely but makes no effort to socialize or partake in plentiful activities that are offered. She is very resentful that I remarried 13 years ago and has told me she wishes I was a widow like her! I'm at my wits end and needless to day, dread visiting and even talking to her. Have other daughters experienced this?
Thanks so much for thinking of me....my husband and I went to Mexico in November and I told my mother in no uncertain terms that we will be making sure she has groceries, etc...but that if she cannot manage without my constant attention and her expecting me to be at her beck and call , perhaps I need to speak to the Director of the beautiful retirement community she lives in about moving her into Assisted Living . Just today, I I had another blow up with her, after she again started putting down my husband for having me do her shopping instead of him doing it. She was used to being waited on by my handicapped father and feels men should dote on women..I reminded her that being needy and spoiled is not an attractive quality ....My thirty five year old son whi luves out of town just came down with a breakthrough COVID infection and when I told her this, she blew it off and turned it around to her health. I cant wait until my life will begin finally when hers ends..if I can survive that long. She is only the woman who gave birth to me....very different that my perception of what a mother is.